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Posted (edited)

Goblin hairdresser community?

Ha don't make me larf... Dem stinkin gobbos can't even give a haircut to a halfling... Nah... Dis is proppa Orc war stuff!

Edited by nine09nueve
Posted (edited)

Warhammer Orc standard/banner holding a Dwarf Slayer head and maybe a High Elf head?

Ugh... Warhammer sounds dwarvish... Yuk Yuk Yuk... Pesky little hairy blighters...

If that's a goblins' banner where are they hiding?

Wots wiv all dis Gobbo talk? Dis is Ugglug's banner... Orc banner not smelly Gobbo banner... And who knows where the Gobbos are hiding... Deys always hides when da scrappin' gets tuff!

Any 'on beeg enof to skalp 'n eelf, I wana see 'em!

You will see 'em... Soon... Very Soon...

Edited by nine09nueve
Posted (edited)

from: Garrett, Smithkinson and Buttermilk (deceased) attorneys at law

CEASE AND DESIST

By Certified E-Mail

Dear Eurobricks.com forum members

This law firm represents Ugglug the Orc, Scourge of the Badlands AKA Ugglugg the Terrible AKA Ugglug the Imapler, AKA Mercinary for Hire, hereafter to be referred to as Ugglug the Orc. If you are represented by legal counsel, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and have your attorney notify us of such representation.

You are hereby directed to:

CEASE AND DESIST ALL DEFAMATION OF UGGLUG’S CHARACTER AND REPUTATION, SPECIFICALLY IN RELATION TO ASSOCIATING HIM OR HIS ASSOCIATES WITH THE WEBSITE UGGLUG.COM

Ugglug is a violent and well respected professional mercenary in the community. He has spent years serving the community in his profession and building a positive reputation with all Orcish, Goblinoid and other greenskin races. He has learned from our former colleague Mr Buttermilk that you have engaged in spreading false, destructive, and defamatory rumours about him. Needless to say he did not take very kindly to this at all and subsequently ate and then killed the aforementioned Mr Buttermilk. (No, this is not a typographical error. Sadly Ugglug really did dispatch the unfortunate Mr Buttemilk in that order!) Not only this, Ugglug the Orc has no idea why a marine biology site would choose to use his fame in order to increase their visitor count. We are currently in contact with the owner(s) of the site in order to warn them to never, ever set foot on the mainland in the future where Ugglug the Orc and his lieutenants will no doubt be waiting for them, since as far as we can ascertain, Ugglug the Orc cannot swim.

Under Middle Zealand law, it is unlawful to engage in the defamation of another’s character and reputation. Defamation consists of

(1) a statement that tends to injure reputation;

(2) communicated to another; and

(3) that the speaker knew or should have known was false.

Your defamatory statements resulted in the loss of a valued partner of high standing in the most prestigious law firm in the realm. Also Ugglug has told us personally that we're next unless we, and I quote, "Make sure dem zoggin' oomies stop it. And quick smart."

Accordingly, we demand that you (A) immediately cease and desist your unlawful defamation of Ugglug the Orc and (B) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation of Ugglug the Orc’s character and reputation.

If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, Ugglug the Orc is entitled to seek monetary damages and equitable relief for your defamation. In the event you fail to meet this demand, please be advised that Ugglug the Orc has asked us to communicate to you that he will pursue all available legal remedies, including seeking monetary damages, injunctive relief, and an order that you pay court costs and attorney’s fees. Your liability and exposure under such legal action could be considerable. Unless he and his lieutenants just choose to eat you instead. Which would be worse.

Before taking these steps, however, we wished to give you one opportunity to discontinue your illegal conduct by complying with this demand within ten (10) days, which would also deter Ugglug to visit our premises in person, something I think we both would be keen to prevent. Accordingly, please sign and return a written apology within ten (10) days to:

Garrett, Smithkinson and Buttermilk (deceased) attorneys at law

Imperial Square

Middleton

Middle Zealand

I recommend that you consult with an attorney regarding this matter. If you or your attorney have any questions, please contact me directly. I would however, discourage you or your attorney from reaching out to Ugglug in person.

Sincerely,

Harvey Birdbath (acting partner)

Edited by nine09nueve
Posted (edited)
Ugglug is a violent and well respected professional mercenary in the community

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PS. so sorry... but in fantasy realms evils most darring foe is not the lawful good paladin but the chaotic neutral jester :)

Edited by dzidek1983
Posted

PS. so sorry... but in fantasy realms evils most darring foe is not the lawful good paladin but the chaotic neutral jester :)

Not in Ugglug's world they're not... Both the paladin and the clown end up as a light snack just the same!

Posted (edited)

Strangely enough, I cannot remember any fantasy realm where a chaotic neutral jester defeats evil. Any examples? Rumplestiltskin in Once upon a time maybe.

In a related matter... I think it is time to see some orc.

Edited by Wardancer
Posted

Ugh... Warhammer sounds dwarvish... Yuk Yuk Yuk... Pesky little hairy blighters...

Hey! Watch yer mouth when ye be talkin' about dwarves! By me beard, me axe be itchin' ta split yer wee orcish skull in half!

Posted

Hey! Watch yer mouth when ye be talkin' about dwarves! By me beard, me axe be itchin' ta split yer wee orcish skull in half!

Thas right keep yammerin' short stuff and we'll find room fer ya on me banner... And in me belly!

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Strangely enough, I cannot remember any fantasy realm where a chaotic neutral jester defeats evil. Any examples? Rumplestiltskin in Once upon a time maybe.

In a related matter... I think it is time to see some orc.

Read Robin hobb :)

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