The earth shakes with an almighty explosion. The aftershock causes rocks to fall and a firestorm emanates from the mouth of IMHOTEP. Fearing for their lives, the remaining Campies flee from the giant statue and the following inferno.
It is the wrath of IMHOTEP!
His eyes blaze. He roars so loudly that the yelps and screams of the terrified Campies are easily drowned out.
Hugh Janus dives for cover in the nearest available space and finds himself staring up at Aloysius's undercarriage.
Toulouse Leplot follows Gordon Bennett in running to sanctuary in Ossie and Is's shack, but in his haste he trips and falls, landing on top of him in a most unseemly fashion.
William Fitzpatrick, seeking any form of shelter, and possibly still his elusive feather boa rabbit snare, tumbles into the large pile of abandoned clothes...
... and after evaluating his dwindling options, Johnson Cox jumps in after.
Ishaq Ettaq still has his trusty shovel and starts digging like fury...
... burying himself in the sand to escape the falling fiery rocks.
As all the Campies find their refuge, Jenny Taylor doubles back towards the statue's mouth...
"Schnookums! There you are! I thought I'd lost you, but you can't stay here, it's not safe!" she cries.
As Jenny stoops to pick up the stuffed bear, a dark and foreboding figure appears at IMHOTEP's mouth, freezing her to the spot as she stares, terrified...
"Bwah, hullo old gal! Little bit smokey in there, dontcha know! But I saw her in alright, bwah!"
Splutters Roger Goodenarde (for it is he) causing Jenny (and her bosoms) to heave a huge sigh of relief.
"Best get ourselves out of the way of these damnable falling fiery rocks, eh what?" he continues to the still speechless Jenny, as he leads her to safety in the nearby waterfall pool.
It is entirely possible that the soaking Jenny's blouse receives causes Roger's monocle to pop right out of his eye...
It is early the next morning, so early that it is still night-dark.
IMHOTEP is aglow; his eyes continue to burn, fire continues to rage around him and a deep blood-red light spills from his mouth.
He looks pretty damn angry.
The aura of fire picks out two dark figures, addressing the statue...
As the dawn breaks, new light is cast over the canyon and Osiris and Isis can be seen in animated conversation.
"Feed me Virgins! They taste so sweet, so succulent! Feed me Virgins!!"
"You promised!" shouts Isis "You vowed that if they managed to sacrifice the evil ones to you then you would let these people go!"
Isis shakes her head in disappointment; Osiris, frowning, continues
"You made a contract." says Osiris determinedly "You cannot renege on it. It was a blood oath. You know it cannot be done."
"We will force you, if needs be" they assert together "you know that we can."
Some timid coughing and shuffling of feet now draws our attention to the recently surfaced Campies.
"Uhhhm" says a small voice "I'm pretty sure there aren't any virgins left here, actually"
The Campies look bashfully at one another.
"Not anymore, at least" mutters someone.
The sound of splashing and giggling from the waterfall pool turns the Campies eyes thence.
"Nope, none here either" titters Jenny, with a twinkle in her eye.
Osiris and Isis turn back to IMHOTEP.
"It is futile, IMHOTEP, you must relent." states Isis "That which you desire now is no longer here"
"And besides," continues Osiris "the bargain was set, and the price has been paid. You still have your sacrifices."
"Oh all right, fine, but it's just that those Virgins tasted so much nicer than those Cultists. Except the one that tasted of scorpion balls, I mean, seriously, he gave me indigestion, mind you he wasn't a Virgin was he? Yeah, so I can see where you're coming from, and yeah, I guess you have a point. Okaaaaaay. "
"Right... uhhm... good. Glad that's settled." mutter Osiris and Isis
Meanwhile, inside the great statue of IMHOTEP, there's one hell of a party in full swing...
Sheila has now arrived and wastes no time in doing body-shots with Father Tomato. Percy is playing 'hide the snake' with Melaena, and Mehmet indulges in a little stage-diving while general merriment and hedonism prevail with enough noise to raise the dead...
Unfortunately even the free flowing wine doesn't stop the revellers from realising the room is shaking. The source of the disruption becomes evident as the mummified IMHOTEP rises from his sarcophagus.
"Waaaaah" and "Aaaaargh!" are the general cries of distress from the merry-makers as they make, in a less than merry way, for the hitherto unnoticed doors.
"Oooh! Shiny!" exclaims Betty Swallocks
"Aha" says Mustafa, turning to IMHOTEP "just the man, mummy, whatever. Now, about that immortality you promised us..."
"Yeah!" cry the other Cultists, also stopping in their running away.
Those Innocent Campies not interested in immortality with IMHOTEP continue to squeeze their way out of the grand doors...
...leaving Melaena Stools (CallMePieOrDie), Betty Swallocks (TinyPiesRUs), Nicholas Hoare (Fugazi), Sheila Suxsumb (Tamamono) and Mustafa Nidia (Brickdoctor) alone with IMHOTEP.
Oh, but you shall have immortality... booms IMHOTEP...
...as the doors close forever.
Back in the canyon, now that IMHOTEP has been satisfied, things have settled down somewhat. The remaining Campies gather together in the bright sunlight, a gentle cooling breeze refreshing them after their long night of terror and.. exertions.
Jenny Taylor (Sandy), Aloysius (ADHO 15), Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick), Gordon Bennett (KielDaMan), William Fitzpatrick (CorneliusMurdock), Hugh Janus (Eskallon), Johnson Cox (Cecilie) and Toulouse Leplot (Whitefang) gather together for a group hug next to Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin), still buried in the sand.
Congratulations to the surviving Innocents!
In the early morning sun, with much groaning and some apologising, some familiar faces emerge from the mouth of the now calm statue.
Percy Pantwitter (Rick), Father Tomato (Ricecracker), Mehmet Attabar (Hinckley), Hans Gubernaculum (Bob), Patrick Fitzwilliam (def), Ahmed Apu (Zepher), Mellifluous Murgatroyd (Scubacarrot), Penny Farago (Waterbrick Down), Ophelia Balls (fhomess) and Nadir Zenith (JimButcher).
Congratulations to Team Innocent! Winners!
"Well, it's great to have everyone back together again, but you still haven't told us how we get out of this damn place!" exclaims one exhausted Campie
"Well, it's quite easy, really," explains Osiris "we just flick this switch here, and turn that knob there, and then... this bit of canyon just slides away"
"Yeah," add Isis "you even watched us do this when we took the car out to get ice cream. It's quite handy, really."
"Ohhh yeeeeah" murmurs the crowd.
The Campies gather up what items they can and make their way to the outside world, and freedom.
Ishaq just about remembers to wake up and run after the others before the canyon wall slides closed once more.
"Ahhh, just the two of us once more" sighs Isis looking around the decimated canyon.
"Yup" agrees Osiris contentedly "but we'd better get this cleaned up before the Cult of Cheese Contortionists gets here next month."
"Yeah" replies Isis unhappily "contorting cheese can be... messy. "
"Put the kettle on, dear, we're going to need more tea."
The year is 1960. Roger Cox-Fitzpatrick and Wilhelmina Attabar-Taylor have arrived from the New York Metropolitan Museum to retrieve the great artefact of IMHOTEP's head and oversee its airlift back to the United States.
"And many thanks to Professors Cox-Fitzpatrick and Attabar-Taylor for their exclusive interviews on this landmark occasion in the world of archaeology. This is Verbosity Murgatroyd reporting for BBC news in Saqqara, Egypt. Back to the studio."
"C'mon you goddamn lazy pilots!" bawls Professor Cox-Fitzpatrick "Good-for-nothing, bone idle layabouts. Always drinking goddamn tea... "
"Can't do anything without tea." mumbles one of the pilots
"Well, drink up, we've got a long flight ahead of us. Don't worry, I've packed a flask" replies the other.
Thank you everyone for playing! We've had a blast. Further game analysis, including player feedback will follow in due course, but once again we'd like to say a big thank you to all of you for being so much fun!
Game Mechanics post
Player Feedback post