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"June 15th: Today I had a bad case of the runs, so I had to use the toilet without thinking. When I finished evacuating my bowels, I noticed that there was no toilet paper, so I had to use the nearest paper source-a blue coat flag. Although it was hard and rigid, it was almost as if the feces was attracted to it! It was able to magnetize all of the excrement off of my gluteus! Haha, I guess you could cal it a 'poop-magnet!' But still, it got me interested in what ELSE one could do with a bluecoat flag."
"June 17th: Today I was studying a bluecoat flag when General Armendariz ran into me. Unfortunately, he challenged me to a duel, but I didn't have my saber with me. So I did what any man would do, and swung the flag at his neck. He was so slow, he didn't have time to react, and I cut his head off in one clean stroke! Amazed at this discovery, I decided to try it out on my first mate, but it wouldn't work. My conclusions are that the skin of bluecoats are much softer, therefore easier to cut."
"June 18th: Continuing my study of bluecoat flags, I set one on fire. And what do you know, it makes great firewood! It made for a huge, roaring fire!"
"June 21st: I decided to take my research to the next level. I challenged three bluecoats to a battle armed only with one their flags. Of course, with my much superior skills, I killed them pretty fast. I also noticed that the flag makes a great shammy for cleaning up blood, too! I am growing increasingly interested in my study."
"June 28th: I ran into a pathetic oaf named 'Dan the Brickman.' After beating his saber to the ground, I took a bluecoat flag and chopped off all his hair. He ran away wailing and blubbering: 'I'll have my revenge!' I can't really blame him though, I mean, what's a man without hair on his chin OR his head! Haha, a fool!"
"(Date unknown) I decided to patent my product under the name Sham-Holy-Cow!™. My slogan is 'It cleans up all of your disgusting messes with ease!' It was an instant success! Many pirates gathered around to buy it. But it was a trap and I arrested all of them. Unfortunately, the Admiral Akbar impersonator I hired was sick, and I had no comic relief. That made me sad, so i slaughtered some bluecoats to ease my pain."
"July 10th: I haven't been able to write in my log in awhile because I had to fend off annoying bluecoat attacks. Naturally, their casualties number three to four times ours. Anyways, I ran into that appalling transvestite, Fugazi, no doubt wearing women's clothing. I guess that's something that some bluecoats enjoy. I pitied him, so I killed him on the spot. I took his severed head and said 'Poor Yorick, I knew him well' even though I didn't. It seems that many people enjoy collecting the severed heads of their enemies, well so do I. Although, many put their heads in glass jars, I keep my collection on a rack, just like the Aztecs did."
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Yay for last minute entries! I hope you guys like!
; you enjoy yourself with fire, as the cavemen... 
btw nice collection of heads!
