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Warren Springfield Intro


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#1 sok117

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Posted 27 January 2010 - 03:37 AM

Well, I thought since everyone was starting to make comics for their characters, it was only a matter of time until i joined in, well here it is

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well, there it is, as you can see he is kind of a bad megablocks.  comments, criticisms, questions.

Edited by sok117, 27 January 2010 - 03:38 AM.

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#2 Tereglith

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Posted 27 January 2010 - 04:24 AM

Nice comic - I like all the action that's going on. You portrayed the gunshots rather well. I see I'm not the only one to use white epaulets and for the Chings  :wink: . Nice homicide there, too, it seems to be something of a hobby abong the Cyberpunk characters.

However, I had sort of a hard time reading this. The eye naturally goes from up to down and from right to left. I had to re-read some panels because you've put the speech bubbles out of order. Take panel 10 for instance. The Ching character says something in response to what your character is saying below that. But when someone's reading it, they read the Ching dialogue first and your character's dialogue second, which makes it nonsensical. Stuff in the top or on the right is read first, stuff in the bottom or on the left is read last. (My dad's a cartoonist, I've got some grounding in this.)

It appears that Jared has a Coffeebot Mark II. Not as good in a fight as Dave's, but better looking  :grin:

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#3 Dannylonglegs

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Posted 27 January 2010 - 08:58 PM

View PostTereglith, on Jan 26 2010, 11:24 PM, said:

I see I'm not the only one to use white epaulets and for the Chings  :wink: . Nice homicide there, too, it seems to be something of a hobby abong the Cyberpunk characters.
I guess that I'm not either :tongue:.  And it's more than a hobby, it's a job :devil:

Great comic! I have to agree with Tereglith that the comic was hard to read at times, but not as hard as mine was (I didn't even put my words in word bubbles.)

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#4 Sandy

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Posted 28 January 2010 - 09:55 AM

Well, I'd say this comic wasn't a very good introduction to your character, since we didn't really learn anything new about him (he just shot people).

Also, to my understanding "chings" are a faction, not a company, so they can't really have a "C.E.O.". I also hope that when the game starts, nobody assumes they can just march into someone's office and kill everyone. I just hate godmodders (i.e. people who make invincible, all-powerful characters). :tongue:

But the office was nicely built, and your use of "special effects" was nice. :wink:

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#5 Steel Dragon

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Posted 28 January 2010 - 10:46 PM

View PostSandy, on Jan 28 2010, 06:55 AM, said:

Well, I'd say this comic wasn't a very good introduction to your character, since we didn't really learn anything new about him (he just shot people).

Also, to my understanding "chings" are a faction, not a company, so they can't really have a "C.E.O.". I also hope that when the game starts, nobody assumes they can just march into someone's office and kill everyone. I just hate godmodders (i.e. people who make invincible, all-powerful characters). :tongue:

But the office was nicely built, and your use of "special effects" was nice. :wink:

I'm not too worried that this is a sign of godmoddin,g as the comic is assumed to take place before the game's story starts... it's like a flashback, and it doesn't affect any of the other players (us).

I agree that the comic doesn't introduce your character as well as it could... perhaps another one of the same scene, but from Warren's perspective, would help calm the masses?

View PostTereglith, on Jan 26 2010, 09:46 PM, said:

pretty much Steel Dragon made his and then the rest of us said "Hey, that's cool..."

#6 sok117

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Posted 28 January 2010 - 11:38 PM

View PostTereglith, on Jan 26 2010, 11:24 PM, said:

Nice comic - I like all the action that's going on. You portrayed the gunshots rather well. I see I'm not the only one to use white epaulets and for the Chings  :wink: . Nice homicide there, too, it seems to be something of a hobby abong the Cyberpunk characters.

However, I had sort of a hard time reading this. The eye naturally goes from up to down and from right to left. I had to re-read some panels because you've put the speech bubbles out of order. Take panel 10 for instance. The Ching character says something in response to what your character is saying below that. But when someone's reading it, they read the Ching dialogue first and your character's dialogue second, which makes it nonsensical. Stuff in the top or on the right is read first, stuff in the bottom or on the left is read last. (My dad's a cartoonist, I've got some grounding in this.)

It appears that Jared has a Coffeebot Mark II. Not as good in a fight as Dave's, but better looking  :grin:

I don't know if you noticed but if you look at the display stand to the far right of the office, there is a bust of one of the CHINGS senior members, I saw the pieces while I was building the office and I thought it would make a cool Easter Egg.

Edited by sok117, 28 January 2010 - 11:39 PM.

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#7 Tereglith

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Posted 29 January 2010 - 02:45 AM

View Postsok117, on Jan 28 2010, 06:38 PM, said:

I don't know if you noticed but if you look at the display stand to the far right of the office, there is a bust of one of the CHINGS senior members, I saw the pieces while I was building the office and I thought it would make a cool Easter Egg.

HA! No, I hadn't noticed that. Awesome! :thumbup:

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