Posted 13 October 2009 - 01:10 PM
The pirate in the corner was enjoying the action...
...Dave, meanwhile, just wanted to run!
The under-age Kid outside was desperate for a look in!
Thanks for looking!
Posted 13 October 2009 - 02:24 PM
1. I dont really like the fire at the top of the chimney, perhaps some smoke puffs instead?
2. I think Dave's legs need to be white.
Other than that excellent job! and welcome to the forums!
Edited by Admiral Ron, 13 October 2009 - 02:25 PM.
Ragvald Stonesplitter, Commander of the Brave Ursurpers
Posted 13 October 2009 - 07:22 PM
This entry did put a smile on my face (I guess that's because I too have been craving for a few rounds of rum these last few days), and that's precisely what any MOC should do. Way to go Joose, seeing as this is your first MOC, you're obviously a talented tale-teller!
Now on to the MOC itself - I'd totally give you a 9.5/10 for using all those perfect expressions. The only thing I would have done differently is the pirate lady's head - I'd use a different ladies' minifig head in order to give her some extra... appeal Talking about that - you might however use the Indigo Islanders' leg assembly as well for that special hula-hula feel :)
Enough about the lady... Even though all eyes seem to be here in this MOC! What I would suggest about the structure of the pub would be to add a few more layers of sloped bricks (or some other kind of more elaborate roof design, which should give the whole entry an even better look). That way you could make use of the additional space and perhaps add some lighting, decoration, perhaps even wooden roof trusses!? I really feel that this would add a new dimension to this wonderful entry.
Other than that - Admiral Ron's advice about changing that fire piece at the top of the chimney and instead creating some custom smoke is a great suggestion. Oh, and I really love how you've used the kegs and the paddle in order to set up that Limbo stick. Sweet!!!
All in all, a refreshing entry... Now then, where's my rum
Edited by TheOtters, 13 October 2009 - 07:22 PM.
Posted 13 October 2009 - 07:41 PM
- I'd change the colour of the pants on the imperial soldier. It aught to be white.
- I'd change the face on the female pirate. This one looks too generic and expressionless.
- The flame out of the chimney doesn't look right. You should change it into smoke. You could use 1x1 round plates for the smoke. It looks lovely if the smoke starts white and ends in 1 or 2 shades of grey.
- I like the fence but I don't like that some of the plates with tooth aar positioned differently than the others.
- The bar could use some more small parts like cups, candles, weapons, food and such.
I think you've got a very good thing going on. It can only get better!
Playing Bjorn Borchard Representative from Owlville in Tamamono´s Party Lines Mafia
Just call me Peter Cedar
Posted 13 October 2009 - 09:20 PM
Other than that, though, this entry is great! I like how you broke up the floor with different-colored boards, and the expression on the soldier's face is totally fitting to the situation. Good job!
Posted 14 October 2009 - 12:59 AM
I have one suggestion for this MOC, though. The old brown 2x2 round plate should be replaced with a new brown version of it. The old brown paddle is fine, but the old brown 2x2 round plate "competes" with the new brown barrel -- especially since they are both close up. Feel free to do this whenever you get the chance to do it.
Posted 14 October 2009 - 01:32 AM
The outside, first of all, is splendid. The detail with the toothed fence is ferocious yet practical . The foliage and palm tree leaves are nice, and the parrot and flag indicate that it is indeed Pirates' land. The barrels and pickaxe are those little additions that don't make it so empty. I like the ground colored studs scattered about and I don't think more would hurt.
I really like the facade of the building. The round studs work well, the window colors are fine, and the roof seems to work. The fact that you made it open top really helps to show what's inside, which I think is great.
Now the inside! I really like the smooth tiling you did with it. For a bar it seems a little empty though. Maybe a chair or two, or even a table could help with that. Maybe you could just extend the table the pirate is using outwards towards us?
The minifigs are good, although it seems a little funny having the feisty lady pirate an old Pirates Minifig while the others relatively new. May I suggest picking up Pirates Tic Tac Toe? [It has so many Minifigs for such a low price @_@]. Or some use of the modern ponytail hair? and Female Pirate Head [or any other] could really bring her out.
The fireplace has a really nice shape, and I like the use of the stone printed piece. The trans orange studs there for hot coal [or whatever is burning] is a great touch. I don't like how it slopes up like that though, it seems unnatural, especially at the end. How does it look if you kept it 2x2 throughout and then had it end with 4 Round 1x1s? Also the fire seems really silly up there. Maybe some round 2x2 white plateswould help? [Or any other smoke technique]
Anyway I really like this silly little MOC, and there is definitely going to be some tough competition in the division.
A great MOC, and best of luck!
Posted 14 October 2009 - 09:08 AM
Posted 14 October 2009 - 07:28 PM
He really does look like a poor young lad in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Very nice choice for the classic pirate wench. It bought me back to an older time of LEGO pirate.
3. The floor.
I liked how around your firplace is a stone floor. This makes sense. I like when MOCs make sense. If you would have had a wood floor around the fireplace it would have bothered me because it would burn.
4. The picket fence.
Simple, yet very eye appealing and looks like it belongs there.
What bothered me:
I know that Dave's pants and fire out of the chimney have already been mentioned but I don't feel I would be doing a full critic without mentioning those items.
2. The outside pirate
If Dave can just walk in and watch whatever he wants, why can't that poor chap outside come in for a show too? It isn't totally wrong because it allows for a window without showing too much outside.
Why not finish the roof so that it meets the edge of the MOC? Is this due to lighting concerns? You have already shown a nice roof, maybe just build a little more of it?
A very nice MOC that is simply built yet very entertaining!
Posted 24 November 2009 - 03:06 PM
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Posted 24 November 2009 - 07:07 PM
I think the soldier's legs should be white though.
I think I know what you mean...
Posted 24 November 2009 - 10:20 PM
This is a nice MOC, i love the chimney and the expressions on the minifigs.
I would like to see a finished roof if possible, and perhaps it might look nicer in a different colour to get some contrast on the outside too.
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