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Richard the Avenger Hobby


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15 replies to this topic  – Started by SirGoldenKnight , Sep 29 2009 08:38 PM

#1 SirGoldenKnight

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 08:38 PM

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THIS IS THE STORYLINE, NOT THE OFFICIAL ENTRY, WICH WILL COME IN THE END OF THE POST

In this small MOC, i will show the hobby of the most cruel and bad pirate sailing in the eight seas (i just discovered +1 yesterday  :pir-classic: )
Richard is called the Avenger, because he loves the revenge... he is very bad, but his hobby will make you scary (well, maybe you think that funny;...)

This is Richard the Avenger

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In this image, you see the boy Richard being throw away from his rowboat, and then being pegleged (not showed due to the violence limit :pir_kiss: )
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Here you see a redcoat cutting Richard's eye off (i have broked the violence limit  :pir-skull: )
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After some years, when Richard growed up, he revenged!
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And now! The hobby  :pir-skull:

Oh, look how cute, he is shame!

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Now the Official entry:

The sweet hobby: wattering and taking care of his flowers  :pir_bawling:
By the way, after intercepting a letter from his old crew, he discovered that they captured admiral daughter and they dont wanna share the jackpot... In this moment his old crew is torturing the daughter to get informations and Richard have a great problem: choose between the great treasure or the true treasur- his little paradise.

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Rate and comment, since its my first pirate MOC!

#2 MetroiD

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 10:30 PM

Not really all that much of an evil soul then, eh? Richard looks like a great guy but... is he actually good at this hobby of his? Somehow I feel that if he'd pour an entire barrel over that one poor flower, it would wither and die in no time... But then again, what do I know about Caribbean flora!

A simple yet suprisingly fun entry :) I love it, I really do! Perhaps the only thing that comes to mind now in terms of criticism would be that if I hadn't read your description, I wouldn't have known what he was actually doing with that barrel in his hand. But that's not really criticism, since you couldn't have him flowering them with a modern spray-thing anyway!

Cheesy as it might sound, I was wondering how this little vignette would look if it also included a treasure chest buried underneath his flowers? In the sense of "real treasure" vs. "hobby treasure"? However, seeing as he might have to grab a shovel and ruin those lovely flowers, I guess it's better that you omitted that treasure part. Cheers for this great entry SGK! :)
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#3 Adam

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 11:16 PM

Throughout the entire story, I was somewhat apprehensive - what would I find at the end? What did I have to criticize? But when I scrolled down and laid my eyes on the entry, I found that there was very little I could criticize, if anything at all. You have presented a fun and unique scene with great landscaping, clever techniques, and a hilarious punchline. Yet unfortunately, I have found some faults in this little vignette. I'm not sure about your pictorial background story; it may be breaking the rules. I suggest removing the links and putting up a nice overall shot as your first picture. In addition, I don't know why you put the two cutlasses and goblet in there - I think you should remove the cup and cross the swords (making them look like clippers). My last point is a continuity error: the Avenger's cape looks strange at such an odd angle with the epaulettes. In the end, Richard's Hobby is my favorite entry so far, and with those minor edits, it might earn the prize it - at this moment in the competition - deserves.

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#4 SirGoldenKnight

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Posted 29 September 2009 - 11:57 PM

Hey guys, thanks for the posts, i thinked about doing somethin in the underground, kind a catacomb, a buried treasure and even some star wars minifigs (yea, true...) btw, it was hard to me build it... i am low on pieces and most of them are constituing my keep (wich is, somehow medium). I would use the goblet to make him water the flower and use the barrel for water stocking, but using the goblet gets so weird. I will try to make a underground catacomb...
Thanks


PS> the last images appear because... i dont know  :pir_bawling: when posting the last images get that wway O.o

#5 Bricknave

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 12:29 AM

I think that this is an impressive and very detailed vignette that fits in with PTV II very well!  However, I suggest replacing the transparent blue 1x1 round plate supposed to represent water with a colorless transparent 1x1 round plate to add extra realism, as blue isn't the color of water if a body of water is very small.  Imagine being next to both the seaside and a tiny puddle.  The massive seaside is blue because it is reflecting the color of the sky, whereas the small puddle is colorless. :pir-classic:

Edited by Bricknave, 30 September 2009 - 12:36 AM.

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#6 Commodore Hornbricker

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 01:00 AM

Very nice and simple.  I like the burried treasure idea that was suggested.  If you were to create an space within the high side of the ground (and under) and you took a picture from the back side you would see him watering his flowers but underneath is burried his treasure.  I'd have that be the last picture in the sequence and take out the first photo that looks straight down as that one doesn't add much over the others.  Also if it were me I'd go with the traditional brown epaulettes.

Its every nice and simple but I think that treasure idea will give it a little twist and surprise in the final picture....Is he tending his flowers or guarding his treasure?
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#7 Erdbeereis

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 01:13 AM

The problem with the first set of pictures was that your code was [/img]picture URL[/img]. You just need to take out the first /.

There's one picture that still needs to be fixed, as you need to get the picture address from Flickr like you did with the others. I fixed the others. :pir-classic:

Good luck to you!

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#8 badboytje88

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 06:25 PM

I really like the idea of this MOC. A cruell pirate and his passive agressive hobby: Gardening! Great idea.

Personally I'm not to fond of the big flowers you used. Here are some great ideas on how to make some special flowers:
http://www.brickshel...ry.cgi?i=570088
http://www.brickshel...y.cgi?i=1001151

And think big, the more flowers the better!

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#9 Lorentzen

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 07:30 PM

I like the idea of a fearsome and evil pirate, who loves his flowers  :pir-classic:

Overall your MOC is good, but I miss more flowers. Why not go all the way and create a haven of flowers on that small space of 8x8 studs?

In my opinion the more flowers the better, because it shows how deeply in love with his hobby he is. I know that adding more flowers means removing most of your green slopes, and that means less of an actually built MOC - however sometimes those very simple MOCs wins the heart of LEGO fans.

Take a look at these simplistic MOCs - all great, all simple:
They son't use many bricks, but they are great MOCs anyway. Because of the story they tell - just like your original and great story:

The story here is shown on very limited space and with almost no bricks at all - still it works
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#10 Tom Bricks

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 07:49 PM

I like this one and it's backstory but I have two small suggestions. First I would love to see some buried treasure underground like the others and secondly I would replace the water with this piece. I have seen it used as pouring water before and in my opinion it looks fantastic.

I'll also give you bonus points for using a frog in your entry.  :pir_laugh2:
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#11 SirGoldenKnight

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 09:33 PM

The update is on the way! I added the so asked buried treasure, a inner catacomb, with pirates, and improved the Richard's "little Paradise": Now with 2 trees, lots of flowers and i take the cutlass off....
Btw, thanks for the posts guys, ill do my best

#12 SirGoldenKnight

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Posted 01 October 2009 - 09:19 PM

Updates are here!

#13 Dr. Steve

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Posted 01 October 2009 - 11:34 PM

Great Moc!

I have a quick question, What Lego set is the female minifig from?

Thanks

#14 Tom Bricks

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Posted 02 October 2009 - 01:42 AM

I like some of the updates but I don't like the mixing of fleshie figs and yellow ones. The tree certainly gives it more of a jungle feel but I personally liked the first top better. The second layer is fantastic though with the treasure and the rocks. I'm not sure what's happening in the bottom layer though because its hard to see with all the minifigs there. I think that one less pirate would help because you would be able to see the bottom layer better.The grate used on the bottom looks a little out of place I think a plate and some tiles would work better to give it an underground feel.
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#15 MetroiD

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Posted 03 October 2009 - 11:32 PM

I see that you've followed my idea about double / multiple layers and that notion of "this treasure or that treasure". Glad I could help :)

Even though this one is obviously well-thought out, I do feel that the first edition had a much simpler (and more effective) way of conveying its idea. Here's a hint: try looking at the pictures and forgetting that you created this MOC. If you're getting the main idea, then you're on the right track. That's just what was spot on with the first edition -- here however, I couldn't for the love of me figure out what was going on before I read your info. I somehow can't seem to grasp how it is that the daughter is being held down there below and just a few studs above her head, lush green grass and flowers grow... The treasure pit does look great, but somehow it fails to impress with all that's going on around it. I'm not sure I like that mast-looking tree either...

Too much criticism, I know. It may sound harsh, but I'm being perfectly honest with you here - I _loved_ your initial idea. I think you've overplayed it a bit with this update. My suggestions would be to lose the tree in favour of more flowers and/or some sort of connection to the layers underneath. If you still want to keep the daughter, try to somehow genuinely "connect" her to the whole concept. If those are the sewers, give them a dirtier look and yes, you could do without one or two pirates there in order to enhance visibility. Finally, I think you might want to consider using a different face for the Captain in order to convey his emotions in a more plausible way.

Good luck my friend! And have fun ;)
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#16 The Alchemyst

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Posted 04 October 2009 - 12:18 AM

Should have replied earlier, but here you go!

I think you should add some pictures of the first version to the first post, for comparison.

I personally liked the first version better. It was simple, had a nice hill going on. It was cute and quaint, which is perfect for what you're trying to convey.

Now there's too much going on.

It's a clumped and clustered vignette with seemingly unrelated things going on [the story about the daughter is awfully thin], hiding the main [and hilarious] point of the vignette: Richard watering his flowers. The treasure seems to be slightly random, and once again detracts attention from the watering of the plants [which isn't even going on anymore!  :pir_bawling: ]

The underground tunnel with the pirate action seems to be completely different from the theme of the contest: pirates and soldiers taking a break, doing things they hadn't done [Which you had nailed on the spot the first time]. Once again, I'd remove the entire thing.

The huge tree seems to be in the way, making it almost impossible to see Richard. I don't understand what a palm tree is doing on a grassy hill :pir_wacko: You've lost the cuteness that was going on.

And what's in the barrel? Is it water? o.O

I hope you don't take me as overly harsh and critical, but I'm trying to help, and I truly think the simplistic idea of Richard watering flowers of the first version was well-done and fitting for such a contest.
I hope to see something like that once again!

Best of luck!

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