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The Treasure of the Lost Mine: Chapter 1


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#1 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 04 July 2009 - 06:11 PM

Hello everyone!  :classic:

Today, the first chapter of my new line of story MOCs begins!

(Don't understand what's going on? Check out the profiles of the characters here!)

The Story Begins...

Day: July 4
Time: 7:41 PM
Closing Time for the Salt Lake Tribune Building

James Grady. How to describe him? He's 37 years old, smart, and writes for the rarely read State History section.

Today, also known as Independence Day for us Americans, James finally had a day off. But there's a bad side, his boss has called him in, saying it's urgent, and that he has to discuss his job with him.

The building is almost empty; everyone except his boss has gone home.

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He slowly walked to the seats outside the office.

The light by the door was still red. He wasn't allowed in yet.

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He sat down and waited.

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Ten minutes later, the light flashed green. He stepped into the office to see Mr. Wagner sitting at his desk.

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"Ah, James! There you are. Sorry for the wait, I was talking to my wife. She wants me to bring home a bag of potato chips and some sodas. You know, I never really saw the point of soda, it always gives me a stomach ach-"

"Mr. Wagner, you said this was important?"

"Yes, my apologies. Anyway, about your job... Um, how do I put this gently, er, you're going to be fired."

"What?!"

"I'm sorry James, nobody cares about history anymore. We made some statistics and showed that people read the Health section more than the State History section. There's no point in keeping it in the paper anymore."

James glared at him.

"However, James, if you can come up with a good story in one week, you can keep your job. Understand?"

James sighed. "Look, why didn't you tell me this earlier? I would have preferred time instead of having only a week to save my job."

"I really am sorry, James."

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James paused at the door.

He turned to leave but looked back at his boss.

"You know, I find it sad that nobody cares about how all of us came to be what we are today. History may not be a current priority, but it is important. And nobody even realizes that everywhere we go, everything we are, there's history somewhere."

"... One week, James. I suggest you start at the library."

"Good night, Mr. Wagner."

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He walked out of the office and into the elevator.

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Mr. Wagner got up and grabbed his hat, he had to get going or he'd be late for his own party.

"Such a nice, smart, boy. It'd be a real shame if he had to be fired. He's really dedicated," he grimaced.

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"One week."

He walked into the next elevator and the building was soon empty once more.

-----

Next chapter to come soon!

Thanks,

  -Striker
I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)

#2 AwesomeStar

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Posted 04 July 2009 - 06:32 PM

I really liked this!

It was nice to read, brought the focal points of history to my attention and was well presented.

The pictures were great, the plot was interesting and I want more!

Well done Striker!

~A.S.

brickshelf   flickr


I played Kian Otherus in EBRP and finished as Lorraine Bailey in MOTEE.
I died as scum Chief Astrobiology Officer Richard Francis in Bob's Excalibur Mafia 2.0,
as scum Augustus "Gus" Staines in Noir Mafia and as snooty old Alfonso in Ditalini - Mystery Mafia...

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image


#3 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 04 July 2009 - 06:52 PM

View PostAwesomeStar, on Jul 4 2009, 12:32 PM, said:

I really liked this!

It was nice to read, brought the focal points of history to my attention and was well presented.

The pictures were great, the plot was interesting and I want more!

Well done Striker!

Thanks, and you'll get more soon!  :classic:

And some of the pictures are a bit out of focus, though. I was worried people would bomb me for that.  :grin:
I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)

#4 AwesomeStar

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Posted 04 July 2009 - 09:38 PM

View PostStriker™, on Jul 4 2009, 07:52 PM, said:

Thanks, and you'll get more soon!  :classic:

And some of the pictures are a bit out of focus, though. I was worried people would bomb me for that.  :grin:

Ah, thats no problem, my photography has only just improved and it's still a bit shoddy. Thank god for Brightness and Contrast settings, eh?

I'm looking forward to your next installment!

~A.S.

brickshelf   flickr


I played Kian Otherus in EBRP and finished as Lorraine Bailey in MOTEE.
I died as scum Chief Astrobiology Officer Richard Francis in Bob's Excalibur Mafia 2.0,
as scum Augustus "Gus" Staines in Noir Mafia and as snooty old Alfonso in Ditalini - Mystery Mafia...

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image


#5 just2good

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Posted 05 July 2009 - 03:55 AM

Heres the story....
On the internet there wasn't much new stuff, and since my July 4th ventures were done, I decided to look at the other themes forum. And  then I remembered this. :cry_happy:
Great job! I love the story, and I'm really looking foward to the next "chapter". :thumbup: It's off to a great start, and I can't wait to see the other charectors and MOCs! Great job. :thumbup:  :cry_happy:  :classic:

#6 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 05 July 2009 - 05:52 AM

View PostAwesomeStar, on Jul 4 2009, 03:38 PM, said:

Ah, thats no problem, my photography has only just improved and it's still a bit shoddy. Thank god for Brightness and Contrast settings, eh?

I'm looking forward to your next installment!

Indeed! I'd prefer to get Photoshop one day, from what I hear it's way better than DIP! ... Dip...  :laugh:


View Postjust2good, on Jul 4 2009, 09:55 PM, said:

Heres the story....
On the internet there wasn't much new stuff, and since my July 4th ventures were done, I decided to look at the other themes forum. And then I remembered this.
Great job! I love the story, and I'm really looking foward to the next "chapter". :thumbup: It's off to a great start, and I can't wait to see the other charectors and MOCs! Great job.

Glad you checked it out; thanks!  :classic:

  -Striker
I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)

#7 AwesomeStar

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Posted 05 July 2009 - 09:55 AM

I don't use photoshop, I use iPhoto editing.

Its easy to do and is part of iPhoto (I use a Mac), and you simply have to upload your pictures, pick one, and edit on the spot.

PhotoShop is waaay to complicated for me :laugh:

~A.S.

brickshelf   flickr


I played Kian Otherus in EBRP and finished as Lorraine Bailey in MOTEE.
I died as scum Chief Astrobiology Officer Richard Francis in Bob's Excalibur Mafia 2.0,
as scum Augustus "Gus" Staines in Noir Mafia and as snooty old Alfonso in Ditalini - Mystery Mafia...

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image


#8 Raphy

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Posted 05 July 2009 - 08:05 PM

pretty good so far, can't wait for the next part! :D

By the way, O HAI you seem familiar :P

#9 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 05 July 2009 - 08:07 PM

View PostRaphy, on Jul 5 2009, 01:05 PM, said:

pretty good so far, can't wait for the next part! :D

Thanks. And you'll all be seeing it soon enough.  :sweet:

Quote

By the way, O HAI you seem familiar :P

Let's continue this in PM, we need to talk, Raphy.  :grin:
  
  -Striker
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#10 Tom Bricks

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Posted 07 July 2009 - 10:03 PM

Great Job! I can't wait for the next part. Shame on you for releasing such a short first part, now I'm stuck waiting. :tongue:
You can call me Tom
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#11 Commodore Hornbricker

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Posted 07 July 2009 - 10:24 PM

A nice introduction.  More please!  The pictures are good.
Posted Image Sail on over to the Port of Brick Royal
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#12 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 02:36 AM

Maybe in the next day or so; still got to work on the next few stages.  :classic:

  -Striker
I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)

#13 Svelte

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 03:00 AM

I very much enjoyed this chapter, although I can't help but think that Wagner is cruelly taunting our hero.

First, that weird business with the 'red/ green' office lights :wacko:
Secondly, despite not having much interest in science, Wagner clearly has 2 books with test-tubes printed on them in his office
Third, although professing sorrow at the short notice, he doesn't actually seem sorrowful enough to do anything about it - like give the reporter more time
Fourth, he sent him to the library to find a science lead? :laugh:

What a cruel, cruel man  :sadnew:

I look forward to the next chapter.

#14 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 04:58 AM

View PostSvelte, on Jul 7 2009, 09:00 PM, said:

I very much enjoyed this chapter, although I can't help but think that Wagner is cruelly taunting our hero.

First, that weird business with the 'red/ green' office lights :wacko:
Secondly, despite not having much interest in science, Wagner clearly has 2 books with test-tubes printed on them in his office
Third, although professing sorrow at the short notice, he doesn't actually seem sorrowful enough to do anything about it - like give the reporter more time
Fourth, he sent him to the library to find a science lead? :laugh:

What a cruel, cruel man  :sadnew:

I look forward to the next chapter.


You tease, you!  :tongue:

Well, I guess I'll try my best to explain to you, Mr. Clever-Witty-Eggo-Toasting-Chef.   :laugh:

1. Red/Green Lights: It saves him money by not hiring a secretary.  :wink:

2. Science Books: Er... Good point. You win this round, Svelte!  

3. Sorrow For Our Hero: Another good point.  :blush:

4. Information: Indeed, if he needs to find out more about history, where else to look other than a library? :wink: (I'm a reader, honestly. Would have been my first choice over the Internet.)

Score:

Svelte: 2
Striker: 2

It's a tie!  

Anyway, I just needed something to get the story off it's feet, more or less. You have a good eye, though, Svelte.  :wacko: ... It drives me crazy!  :laugh:

Curses, foiled again!  

  -Striker

Edited by Striker™, 08 July 2009 - 04:59 AM.

I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)

#15 Raphy

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 08:16 PM

It's been ten days already . . . .

/taps foot

#16 Luke McAwesome

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 11:01 PM

View PostRaphy, on Jul 14 2009, 02:16 PM, said:

It's been ten days already . . . .

/taps foot

I was gonna do one yesterday, but got held up; I'm going to go take shots right now.
I'm back, but I'm not. Sort of, but kind of... Sooo... I kind of am back. ;)



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