Director: CUT! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Staudie's mixed up the cards again.
It wasn't me, boss! It was probably the new guy!
HEY! It wasn't me!
Maybe it was your faces!
Tell me about it. I've been doing this show for years now and he never gets any nicer.
I heard he was like this, but I didn't want to believe it.
Are you ladies about done?
Almost. One more second.
One more second might be your last.
See what I mean?
Yeah, it's just ...
Director: Can we try again, please?
Fine... in 3.. 2.. 1..
Welcome to another exciting episode of EB News Presents! I'm your host, William Shatner. Ok, that isn't even funny.
This time, without cards! IN 3.. 2.. 1..
Welcome to another ... oh screw it. Hey folks, it's me, ImperialShadows, that's
Let's see, from left to right, in the front row we have the tail of our boom alligator whose name escapes me, then Zepher, Stash,
That's really an amazing job, Houndblower, and we at EB News thank you for providing us with such an incredible sample of your work. We will be proudly displaying it in the header of our EB News Index shortly.
And now, without further whining and crying, how about starting the interview, huh?
Q. Why the name Houndblower? I mean, what you have a modified leafblower to get rid of dogs or something?
Haha, no, It's a reflection of two of my fave things: Beagles, and Hornblower.
Q. Zee artist iz here! Tell us about your drawings, and why you do it.
Well, I've always liked drawing, so one day several years ago, I had the idea to draw minifigs, and I've been doing it ever since!
And quite well, I must say.
Q. As an artist, what do you think David should be like, leaf or no leaf?
We aren't really sure what he's talking about there, just move on.
Q. Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... Stauder is sweet,
And Hinckley will kill you.
GET OUT OF MY POEM!
Roses are red ... Violets are purple ... Sugar is sweet ... and so's maple surple.
Q. How long have you
Since I was about 5 or 6. Of course I had Duplo since I was like, 2.
Staudie is almost old enough to graduate to Duplo. It'll be a proud day for all of us.
Am I in this episode?
You are now.
Q. What are your 3 favourite sets?
Q. What is your Favourite Theme, and why?
Pirates (actually the soldiers! REDCOATS RULE!)
I like ships and forts.
Q. Best In Real Life Lego Moment, meaning the best Lego related moment that happened in real life.
When I was selected as the Apprentice of BrickForge.
Q. Same as above, but replace Real Life with EB.
Getting Interviewed by EB News. Probably getting "pressed" into the C-P crew.
You were doing so well there for a moment. *sigh*
Q. What sets would you like to see TLC produce?
Hmmm... I'd like a new ship for the Imperial Guards. That, and a Narnia theme.
Q. Bubble-gum ... Bubble-gum ... Sweet are thee ... Ok I am out of material.
He's been out of material since ... I'm sorry, I just ran out, too.
Q. Can we see your um... Where artists keep their Lego?
I must admit, that question concerned me at first.
Q. Is it possible to see your stages of drawing Lego characters?
Well, here's a WIP sketch:
Q. Am I Annoying?™
And by sometimes, he means ... nope, sorry, I'm still out of material. I'll get back to you on this one.
Q. Who should we Interview Next?
The Honorable Captain Blackmoor.
And there you have it, another insightful look at a talented and interesting member of EB, as well as an opportunity to make fun of Staudie and just generally sit around and not do any actual work. That's pretty much a winning combination for me.
I really don't have anything to do in this episode?
This is one of the Staudie episodes, so you just get to hang out and potentially serve as a target for a joke or two.
But I want to be an active part of the show!
Well, you could dance over the credits.
That would be humiliating.
You could go down and file for unemployment.
CUE THE MUSIC!
I should go to work in labour negotiations, I really have a way of motivating people to work.
Yeah, I know.
What do you think?
And as the camera fades on another episode, we see our dauntless reporters dancing their hearts out, trying to preserve the jobs they don't get paid for as it is. Sometimes, I wonder why they do it, and then I realise it's all about the opportunity to present the news to an audience starved for entertainment. Sadly, 3 more of the audience starved from lack of entertainment after this episode, but who's counting?