Day 7: Suffer Not the Witch to Live!
As the day dawns, the team assembles for their morning update. Drake Knator, Pvt. Mann, Dayton Stern and Pvt. Crade all arrive late, looking tired and more than a little annoyed. Sgt. Pincer and Pvt. Fletchman don't arrive at all.
Admiral Blaire and Commander Blazer exchange concerned looks after reviewing the hall security cameras from the night before, especially over this shot, which leaves them wondering.
Grand Admiral Volrik: "You ladies mind taking your seats? I know you had a big night, but we have important business to discuss. We've had two deaths, one expected, and one unexpected. Let's get right to the video!"
Sgt. Pincer: One more adjustment and I should have it!
Sgt. Pincer: Finally! I'll be able to listen to every word said in the whole base though my giant speaker!
Unidentified figure: Seems kind of sneaky, Pincer, like something a spy would do.
Sgt. Pincer: AAAAH! You startled me, and it's Sgt. Pincer, and no, it isn't sneaky. Well, yes, it's sneaky, but it's how we'll catch those Black Sun operatives!
Unidentified figure: Oh, is that so?
Sgt. Pincer: Absolutely! I just need a little better signal, and I can't figure out how to get it.
Unidentified figure: You need to adjust the antenna, of course.
Grand Admiral Volrik: "I wish someone could adjust the colour on this, it's awful!"
Admiral Blaire: "Sorry sir, I'll get it."
Sgt. Pincer: Yes, this is helping, great suggestion!
Unidentified figure: I know how to make it even better, more wire!
Sgt. Pincer: Really? Well, do it, we're on the brink of success!
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Much better, good job Blaire."
Unidentified figure: Just keep wrapping them around.
Sgt. Pincer: But I'm getting tangled up in them.
Unidentified figure: It's ok, I'll come up with some hot idea to get you out of them once it's all done.
Sgt. Pincer: This is too much.
Unidentified figure: It's fine, just try to get untangled.
Sgt. Pincer: I can't, the wires are too tight. If I had a little more light, maybe I could untie myself.
Unidentified figure: Need a light? No problem.
Sgt. Pincer: What are you ... aaaaah, that's hot.
Unidentified figure: That's the idea.
Sgt. Pincer: The wires are catching fire! And my clothes! And me! AAAAAAHHHHH!
Unidentified figure: You won't be tangled up for long.
Sgt. Pincer: HELP! WOOWEE THIS HURTS!
Sgt. Pincer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grand Admiral Volrik: "What a waste."
Admiral Blaire: "You know he was innocent?"
Grand Admiral Volrik: "What? Oh, no, I was just thinking of how it was a missed opportunity to toast marshmallows."
Admiral Blaire: "..."
Commander Blazer: "And this is the scene we found this morning, nothing but the charred remains of Sgt. Pincer."
Commander Blazer: "Looks like you did it again, people. He was right on the verge of discovering the spies and you killed him. I practically vouched for him myself early in this mission, but do any of you listen? Now the whole place smells like burnt popcorn, too."
Admiral Blaire: "We still wanted to be sure he was loyal, so we consulted with this special book we found in his quarters. It must be valuable, it's quite old and signed by someone named Inquisitor Fernandez. Now, let's see here... well, according to this, he's a witch and should be burned to death. Looks like they got that part covered."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Reminds me of a girl I once knew, she was from Dathomir and had the most bewitching eyes. Long story. Oh, look, there's a price tag on that book, it says 'Buy one Get one Azufre' ... I don't get it."
Admiral Blaire: "Well, the slicers found plenty of evidence that he was loyal, so let's just go with that. I'm not sure what kind of lunatic would use a book like this, but maybe they should be burned to death for such nonsense."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Moving on, I'm most disturbed by this one, both because she was the only woman left and because she was our mortician. Roll the footage!"
Admiral Blaire: "I can't."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Why not?"
Admiral Blaire: "It's just too awful. Really too awful."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "But I promised them video."
Admiral Blaire: "I'm sure they'll understand."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "But I won't..."
Admiral Blaire: "I've already had a copy sent to your quarters."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Oh, well no problem then. Carry on."
*HOST'S NOTE: I can only take so many crappy, poorly lit pictures in one night. I may add these later, if you don't kill each other too quickly. Maybe another EB News special on "The Galactic Paranoia Ripper". *
Admiral Blaire: "I'll summarize what happened. Basically, it seems that someone escorted Pvt. Fletchman back to her quarters, then dismembered her. Part by part."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Did you know that a standard minifig complete with hair, can be broken down into 10 separate pieces?"
Admiral Blaire: "I did after watching the security video."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Our slicers have done a comprehensive check of her data records and it appears she was being blackmailed by Black Sun because of some youthful indiscretions, something about wild parties and drunken debauchery."
Admiral Blaire: "Actually, she was covering for her sister more than herself."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Her sister was a drunken debaucher? Do we have pictures of her?"
Admiral Blaire: "No sir, her sister was on the wrong side of the law at one time."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "I suppose it would be too much to hope it was for drunken debauchery."
Admiral Blaire: "Yes sir."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "It was? Excellent!"
Admiral Blaire: "No sir, it would be too much to hope."
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Oh. Well, whatever. It looks like our resident vigilante got it right, again, whoever that is. Shame the rest of you aren't so bright. That's a total of two traitors down and more of us than I'd like to count. At the rate you people are killing the loyal members of the team, we don't stand a chance. Hmmm." *whispers to his pilot* "Yes sir!" *the pilot runs out of the room, panicked*
Admiral Blaire: "Something wrong, sir?"
Grand Admiral Volrik: "What? Oh, it was nothing, I just need to
Admiral Blaire: "Sir? You're leaving?"
Grand Admiral Volrik: "Important business, yes, that's it, important business."
Admiral Blaire: "Oh, I understand completely."
Voting will continue to be done publicly for the duration of this game ... of life, so get cracking, the fate of the galaxy is in your hands.
Grand Admiral Volrik: "This is madness. We're doomed..."
The part of Pvt. Trent "Madman" Maverick will be played by
The Team (In Alphabetical Order)
Adley "Newbie" Ahm (Black Sun Operative) - Played by Adam
Pvt. Terris "Toupée" Bentman - Played by Tim Bit
Pvt. Nester Brand - Played by Natman8000
Pvt. Boden Constrek - Played by Bob the Construction Worker
Pvt. Razak Crade - Played by Ricecracker
Pvt. Darek Dasner (Loyal) - Played by Da Death Star
Pvt. Signicious Drumthwack (Loyal) - Played by Silent-Sigfig
Pvt.Wedge Durnkist - Played by Wouwie
Widanko "Wiseguy" Fenk (Loyal) - Played by Whitefang
Edner "Eddie" Flak - Played by Escape the Fate
Pvt. Pepper Fletchman (Converted Black Sun Operative) - Played by Professor Flitwick
Pvt. Al Iztad - Played by Alice
Pvt. Drake Knator - Played by Dragonator
Pvt. Danko "Whatshisname" Legovski - Played by Darth Legois
Pvt. Quincy J. Mann - Played by Quarryman
Pvt. Trent "Madman" Maverick - Played by Trexxen
Pvt. Zariah Phervik (Loyal) - Played by Zepher
Sarge (Loyal) - Played by Stash2Sixx
Sgt. Tong Pincer (Loyal) - Played by Tiny Pies R Us
Pvt. Hincklina Ross (Unknown Allegiance) - Played by Hinckley
Pvt. Ivy Shadowspark [b](Loyal) - Played by Imperial Shadows
Dayton Stern - Played by Sir Dillon