Galactic Paranoia: Rebels, Day 5
Boys, Boys, Boys!
Commander Blazer: "I have some disturbing news for all of you. This morning, we discovered the body of Pvt. Hincklina Ross. Well, actually, we discovered her buns, still attached to her head, plus various bits and pieces. Oddly, she seems to have had lots of spare parts we weren't expecting.
Maybe the video will clear that up, let's take a look.
Hincklina Ross: "Mmmmhmm, just what a girl needs in the middle of the night, a big banana."
Hincklina Ross: "Oh, hello! Funny, I didn't see you when I came in. I'm just getting a midnight snack. What are you doing?"
Unidentified figure: "I'm here to give you your birthday present!"
Hincklina Ross: "But it's not my birthday. Are you sure it's meant for me?"
Unidentified figure: "Absolutely."
Hincklina Ross: "Well, I am my most favouritist person in the whole wide world, so I can understand you wanting to give me something special. What is it?"
Unidentified figure: "It's over there in that special box."
Hincklina Ross: "I thought that was the Foodprocessomatic 8000. I usually throw things in it and then food pops out."
Unidentified figure: "Can you think of anywhere safer to keep your present? There are spies around, so security is important."
Hincklina Ross: "Oh, that makes sense!"
Unidentified figure: "All you have to do is crawl in and get what's coming to you."
Hinclina Ross: "Yay gift!"
Unidentified figure: "Yeah."
Hincklina Ross: "I don't see it. Whaaaa... OW! MY BUNS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Hincklina Ross: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhh..."
Unidentified figure: "Garbage in, garbage out."
Stash the Janitor: "Hey, what's going on in here? Who's making all this mess in my clean kitchen?"
Unidentified figure: "Hincklina. She was trying to use the food processor and got carried away."
Stash the Janitor: "Eh, no problem, I'll clean it up, she's a nice girl, got a great rack. Er, knack. Knack of something. Knack of boobs. Rack of lamb. Oh, forget it."
Stash the Janitor: Ut oh, my broom is stuck in there. I love this broom! Don't worry Ethel, I'll save you!"
Unidentified figure: "He calls his broom Ethel?"
Unidentified figure: "Janitor in, turkey out? I don't even get this twist, but at least there's no witnesses."
Commander Blazer: That explains the extra parts. Someone will need to contact Stash's family and let them know that he died a hero of the Rebellion. Tell them he was, um, cleaning up a mission gone wrong."
Commander Blazer: As Pvt. Ross was our only link to Jedi Widanko Fenk, we have no means of determining her allegiance, and now we have no means of determining ANY allegiance. Again. I have spoken to
It seems we're on our own again. I hope someone amongst you has some idea of where we can go with this situation now, I'm at a total loss."
Suddenly, the viewscreen comes on, as if haunted. A strange, cloaked figure appears.
Unidentified figure: "Greetings. I am sending this communication live to both you and your counterparts on the other side of the negotiations. You may be wondering who I am, but it is unimportant. What is important is who you are and what you don't know. Some of you are loyal to your team, some are traitors. There are traitors on both sides, but neither are loyal to you. The traitors, in this case, belong to a criminal organization called Black Sun.
Through the years, they have built a vast empire of their own, a commercial empire, selling goods to both sides. Many of your battles were practically catered affairs, with supplies completely from Black Sun. The profit has been huge for them, and your negotiations threaten that. So, they did what any bloodthirsty corporation would do in that situation, they made some bribes, called in some markers, and generally conducted business as usual, all to try to stop the negotiations.
So far, they have succeeded.
With that in mind, I come to you with a suggestion: Join sides. If you are ever to make peace, you will need to find at least some level of cooperation right now in an effort to defeat the enemy within. Merge forces, share information, seek out the traitors and deal with them quickly, before they can spread, and I assure you, they can spread, and probably already have. It's the Black Sun way.
I wish you the best of luck. You're going to need it.
Commander Blazer: "Black Sun! KARK! He's right, whoever he is, if we're to have any hope of stopping them, we'll need to join together with the Imperials. These Black Sun types are gangsters, the worst of the scum out there, and only with a solid effort from all of us, can we hope to defeat them. I say we join the Imperials to stop Black Sun. What about you?"
*** You will have 24 hours to vote, via PM, to agree to join forces with the Imperials or not. Consider your decision carefully. If both sides agree, your forces will be merged. All other voting and night actions will be suspended until further notice. ***
Sgt. Tong Pincer - Played by Tiny Pies R Us
Pvt. Razak Crade - Played by Ricecracker
Pvt. Hincklina Ross (Unknown Allegiance) - Played by Hinckley
Pvt. Al Iztad - Played by Alice
Pvt. Darek Dasner - Played by Da Death Star
Pvt. Quincy J. Mann - Played by Quarryman
Pvt. Ivy Shadowspark (Loyal) - Played by Imperial Shadows
Edner "Eddie" Flak - Played by Escape the Fate
Dayton Stern - Played by Sir Dillon
Adley "Newbie" Ahm - Played by Adam
Widanko "Wiseguy" Fenk (Loyal) - Played by Whitefang