9 replies to this topic

[Skinny Boy]

Previous Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Part 6: Day3.

Carl has wandered the green lands for three days now. He stumbles across what looks like a neighborhood.


"Dear Diary,.. uhh, conscience. I seem to have found an old neighborhood. Clearly abandoned, but I can't see why. I'll go in for a closer look."


"What the... the windows are broken, and boarded up. And the doo'rs locked."


"Same thing here."


"Hey, this ones open. Who are you talking to? You. Oh shut up."

Carl enters the house and finds some clothes.
"Well thats convenient. What? Oh Get lost you."

He then explores the neighborhood.


"Now I know i've seen that before. But where..."


"Ok, i'm gonna go for... What? Conscience, I've found what looks like the bare minimum of remains of a house. Just the foundations. Now i'm really confused. Why would people leave, when theres no signs of destruction, except the road which has worn away, and this weird... green ground. Now I find a house that looks like, it was professionally dismantled? There's not one sign of rubble. And its not like they stopped construction. The other houses were occupied. I'll find out sooner or later."

Carl goes around the back of the opened house to find a shed. He opens it.


"I don't know what that is.... But I like it!"


"Maybe not. Ahh ha ha ha! God will you leave me alone!"

Carl practises riding the bike for the rest of the day.

Day4:

"Conscience, I travelled on this thing not too far from the house today. I found a large building that says 'Museum' on a sign outside. I went in to explore."


"Conscience, I came to a room that had sign. It said: 'Local History'. In the centre there was a setup, of two men in some kind of struggle. Another sign said: Depicted here is Commander Arnold something breaching the lines of the... what is that word? during the great revolt of 2009. I'd never heard of him, or the revolt before. Though I could use a weapon."


"Thanks Arnie."

"I've explored most of the 'Museum' now, and its almost empty. Just a couple of statues. Hey, theres something."


"Its a gun!"

"Conscience, Today was fun. I learned a lot about... wherever I am. Something happened in 2009, and there is a thing called a museum. I found a gun, and sure enough, in an office, some bullets! I'm gonna head home now. Heh, home is where you make it I guess."


"Man. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. A headache. Oh thats it you son-of-a!"

End Part 6.

Yeah, I said this wouldn't be for ages, but I took a study break. A long one. 2 days  

Thanks for looking.

[---Vertea---]

Skinny Boy, on May 24 2009, 08:36 AM, said:

Previous Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Part 6: Day3.

Carl has wandered the green lands for three days now. He stumbles across what looks like a neighborhood.


"Dear Diary,.. uhh, conscience. I seem to have found an old neighborhood. Clearly abandoned, but I can't see why. I'll go in for a closer look."


"What the... the windows are broken, and boarded up. And the doo'rs locked."


"Same thing here."


"Hey, this ones open. Who are you talking to? You. Oh shut up."

Carl enters the house and finds some clothes.
"Well thats convenient. What? Oh Get lost you."

He then explores the neighborhood.


"Now I know i've seen that before. But where..."


"Ok, i'm gonna go for... What? Conscience, I've found what looks like the bare minimum of remains of a house. Just the foundations. Now i'm really confused. Why would people leave, when theres no signs of destruction, except the road which has worn away, and this weird... green ground. Now I find a house that looks like, it was professionally dismantled? There's not one sign of rubble. And its not like they stopped construction. The other houses were occupied. I'll find out sooner or later."

Carl goes around the back of the opened house to find a shed. He opens it.


"I don't know what that is.... But I like it!"


"Maybe not. Ahh ha ha ha! God will you leave me alone!"

Carl practises riding the bike for the rest of the day.

Day4:

"Conscience, I travelled on this thing not too far from the house today. I found a large building that says 'Museum' on a sign outside. I went in to explore."


"Conscience, I came to a room that had sign. It said: 'Local History'. In the centre there was a setup, of two men in some kind of struggle. Another sign said: Depicted here is Commander Arnold something breaching the lines of the... what is that word? during the great revolt of 2009. I'd never heard of him, or the revolt before. Though I could use a weapon."


"Thanks Arnie."

"I've explored most of the 'Museum' now, and its almost empty. Just a couple of statues. Hey, theres something."


"Its a gun!"

"Conscience, Today was fun. I learned a lot about... wherever I am. Something happened in 2009, and there is a thing called a museum. I found a gun, and sure enough, in an office, some bullets! I'm gonna head home now. Heh, home is where you make it I guess."


"Man. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. A headache. Oh thats it you son-of-a!"

End Part 6.

Yeah, I said this wouldn't be for ages, but I took a study break. A long one. 2 days  

Thanks for looking.

Aaaaargh! I wanna see more!!!

[Skinny Boy]

---Vertea---, on May 24 2009, 04:26 PM, said:

Aaaaargh! I wanna see more!!!

Thanks, but you'll have to wait!
And I don't think you should quote the whole post with images and everything. Gets annoying for those with slower connections.

[pesgores]

How long will we have to wait?

[Asuka]

A pretty cool story! The museum part was very interesting, and I´m glad he found a bike to move around.  

[Zorro]

Looks very good so far, the tension is building.
I will definatly look out for the next episode.

[pesgores]

pesgores, on May 29 2009, 09:59 PM, said:

How long will we have to wait?

[Skinny Boy]

Thanks Zorro and Asuka. Glad I could get you two hooked you could tune in.   

pesgores, on May 29 2009, 09:59 PM, said:

How long will we have to wait?

Whoah, theres just too much constructive criticism in that post... I can barely handle it!  
Seriously, if you're gonna post, why not make it worth while. And honestly, don't you know of something called suspense?  

[pesgores]

The very moment I looked at the photos at your signature in other forum, I fell in love with it and checked it immediately.

Read the first chapter and thought "This is great. Gotta read more!". But I thought the first part to be short. I read the 2nd and it seemed short as well. "So, if there are only 6 parts as of now, this means my read will end soon." Nevertheless, it was very enjoyable, specially to go through the scenarios and characters and the story is really good. I'd love to see a longer part, preserving the style of before, and I hope it doesn't take long, because I am really excited about it.

There, better?

The question remains, though. How long will we have to wait for the next part?

[Zepher]

I'm going to have to go back and read to make sure I've got all the character's right.  I'm really interested in what's going on.  It's got a very deep plot already, you better explain EVERYTHING in the end.  I'm actually kind of confused, but it's very interesting, so keep it up!  Just try to answear a few questions before entering in too many new ones!