Posted 26 November 2008 - 12:52 AM
Sleeping on the job, can be deadly...
The lazy soldier, who had been on watch all day, was beginning to doze off. He thought that since there had been no "activity" all day, it wouldn't hurt to take a small nap. But what he did not know, was that a ruthless pirate had been stalking him all day; waiting for this type of opportunity. The pirate, wanting to have a little fun, pulled out his dynamite packs. He took a torch from the imperial fort's gate and lit the fuse.
Will the soldier wake up at the maniacal laughing of the pirate, wake up at the sound of the fuse or... will this nap be his last?
Any suggestions, positive or negative would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Posted 26 November 2008 - 01:39 AM
I'm not so sure about the red color on the building though, it might look better if those parts were dark grey or white.
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Posted 26 November 2008 - 01:50 AM
Your SNOT sand and dirt is very nice. It's good that you included a palm tree, because it fills up the space nicely and adds some color.
The story behind your entry is also fantastic, that certainly is a sleepy soldier! Under the arch, those pieces add a lot of detail.
Even though some people may not be a big fan of it, I love how you incorperated the red from the imperial's colors into the fort as well.
Some improvement ideas:
1) I'm not sure, but it could be a good idea to have 1 dead soldier on the ground that the pirate killed.
2) The way you made the torch from the fort light the dynamite's fuse is great, but I would have the torch laying where the fuse is. Where it is now, it looks more like it's just sitting there.
3) Maybe put a parrot on top of the tree if you have one.
I think you did a wonderful job with this. It has great design and nice colors, plus a good story to go with it.
Good luck in the contest!
Posted 26 November 2008 - 02:00 AM
I think this is a good entry, I have seen much towers and portals in a lot of PTV entries, but this must be one of the better ones .
1) I really do not like those dynamite bricks! Dynamite wasn't even invented in those days, Alfred Nobel discovered it in 1866 and it took many years before being produced. I would replace it with a barrel representing gunpowder.
2) The lantern on the wall could look better if replaced with a ship-type one (the one used in the old palmtrees). This type reminds me a bit on the old spaceblasters.
3) I must agree with CGH about the use of red in your portal. I think grey would be better.
4) I would try to hide the grey plate by trying to add larger tiles that reach down (it that is possible, because I can't judge it that well from a picture).
Minor point 1: I think the soldier needs a musket, a cutlass alone on such a high position won't scare away much criminals I'm afraid !
Minor point 2: I would think of adding a guard near the fuse/barrel/dynamite that has been knocked down, to introduce more cruelty into your MOC.
Non-brick related advise:
1) Your first picture, the one to be judged, should show everything, including the entire flag and palm tree. You even have some pixels left, so why not using them?
Posted 27 November 2008 - 08:22 PM
Posted 27 November 2008 - 08:22 PM
Posted 27 November 2008 - 08:27 PM
I like it , and I wish you good luck for the contest^^
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