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The Tenth Day-A Feeding Frenzy!


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7 replies to this topic  – Started by Patriot720 , Nov 23 2008 06:29 PM

#1 Patriot720

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 06:29 PM

Posted Image Vig. 36b

Many years ago, the ruthless pirate captain IronHook made a deal with the mighty god of the sea-The Kraken.  The beast agreed to give Captain IronHook all of his treasure in return for a hefty meal every 10 days...
:pir-devil:
This is my entry for the PTV medium division.  Any suggestions, positive or negative would be greatly appreciated. THANKS! :pir-blush:

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(I've already braced myself for your long list of suggestions Zorro :pir-tongue: )

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:40 PM.


#2 Erdbeereis

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 06:49 PM

Ah, but have you braced for mine? :pir-tongue:

The Kracken seems to be a popular idea for this contest, and I must say, yours looks excellent! Your SNOT water is lovely and I think you did a nice job with the monster's mouth.

Very good head choice of heads for the minifigs, as they are full of expression.

Some ideas for improvements:

1) I think that it would be good to integrate some white plates in the water near the boat to look like waves. That might look good near the tentacles as well.

2) The first picture cuts off the water a bit. Maybe you could take one where the camera is a bit further from the entry.
You could also just replace the first picture with the second, as the second one shows everything well.

3) Personally I think that the plank would look better in brown instead of black, but that's not important.


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You did an excellent job with this I think! The tentacles look great wiggling out of the water and the whole entry is very exciting.

Good luck in the contest! :monkey:

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#3 Zorro

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 07:09 PM

My opinion:
Good theme, good use of parts and well finished! The giant Kra©ken is done before, but yours is among my favourites.
A big  :thumbup: from me, and I wish you the best of luck.

Possible improvements:
1) I would take of the soldier's backpacks and let the pirate standing close to the plank carry them, so it looks like he took the backpacks from the soldier.

2) You speak of the Kra(c?)ken's treasure, but I don't see any treasure? I understand you can't display all in a medium-division MOC, but isn't there any way you can show they made a 'transaction' by letting us see some gold/treasure?

3) What about turning around the soldier that gets eaten by the Kra(c?)ken? I mean this: try showing us only his legs and part of the torso, the head has already been vanished into the beast's mouth!

4) Some MINOR points: brown plank instead of a black one (it's wood?) If you have one, then maybe you could give the tricorne pirate a plume? (I just like plumes A LOT!)

Non-brick related advise:
1) The first picture is the one that will be judged, so try to show us the entire MOC, including all of the water and the flag.

#4 Patriot720

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 07:29 PM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 23 2008, 01:49 PM, said:

2) The first picture cuts off the water a bit. Maybe you could take one where the camera is a bit further from the entry.
You could also just replace the first picture with the second, as the second one shows everything well.

Thank you for your advice, this has been done.


View Postzorro3999, on Nov 23 2008, 02:09 PM, said:

2) You speak of the Kra(c?)ken's treasure, but I don't see any treasure? I understand you can't display all in a medium-division MOC, but isn't there any way you can show they made a 'transaction' by letting us see some gold/treasure?

As i said in the beginning,

View Postxpatriot720x, on Nov 23 2008, 01:29 PM, said:

Many years ago, the ruthless pirate captain IronHook made a deal with the mighty god of the sea-The Kraken.

Edited by xpatriot720x, 23 November 2008 - 08:07 PM.


#5 Zorro

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 07:52 PM

Quote

As i said in the beginning,
Many years ago, the ruthless pirate captain IronHook made a deal with the mighty god of the sea-The Kracken.
I did read that BUT: Does that mean the Kraken doesn't have any more treasure left? IMHO the way you typed it it implies he somehow 'trades' treasure for flesh every ten days. But maybe that's just because I am a non-native English speaking person.
If he got it all at once, it wouldn't be such a good deal for the Captain (sailing down there every ten days would become a nuisance) and if I were him I would just kill off the Kraken as any real pirate would do :pir-skull: .

Edit: thanks for editing!
PS: there are people with even (a lot)longer lists then mine (eg. LegoKing) :pir-wink:

Edited by zorro3999, 23 November 2008 - 08:48 PM.


#6 JimBee

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 08:51 PM

Very nice entry, xpatriot720x. :pir-classic: The kracken is amazing, especially the mouth. Good SNOT water, and of course, very cruel. :thumbup:

What could be improved:
Is that a ship that the pirates are on? If so, I would make it more rounded and concave, instead of just flat like a wall. Also, the plank and floor would look better if they were brown, and even tiled. :pir-wink: Perhaps then you could add more details to the side, such as portholes or maybe even seaweed.
    Additionally, in the barrel, I would replace the cannon ball with treasure, to illustrate the "transaction" taking place. Lastly, perhaps you could have some blue and/or white pieces rising out of the water near the tentacles to show the splashing water as the tentacles rise out of the water.

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Once you improve these things that I (and others) have mentioned, you'll surely have an even better entry. Good luck!

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#7 Guss

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 08:56 PM

that's a really nice entry ^^ remind me another one approximately on the same theme, but really nice anyway ^^

I would say that the plank will look better in brown instead of black ^^ and as zorro said, the soldier shouldn't have a backpack when offered in sacrifice ^^

Anyway I really like it and I wish you good luck for the contest !  :thumbup:
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#8 admiral marcel

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 03:52 AM

your kracin has supreme detail and is very arsome :cannon:
:pir-oh3: :shark:   :pir-grin:  :cannon:




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