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Trepidation


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5 replies to this topic  – Started by Lt. de Martinet , Nov 22 2008 09:09 PM

#1 Lt. de Martinet

Lt. de Martinet

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:09 PM

Posted Image Vig. 36d

Trepidation


     The soldier hears something in the water. Probably just a guppy, he thinks. But in the dead of night, terror creeps into a man's imagination at the slightest stimulus. Yes, it must be a guppy. Or maybe a shark...

     His imagination runs rampant, and he yearns for the shore. Safe, sweet land.


     But it was not to be, for something did lurk in the dark waters. Something -- rather, someone -- with a craving for treasure, and no conscience. A pirate.

     And so he aims...




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Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:40 PM.

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#2 Guss

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:15 PM

that's a nice entry you did Lt. de Martinet ^^  

but there is something I don't understand, does the Red Coat stole these treasures and the pirate is going to steal these treasures back ?

anyway I see a way to improve it ^^ add a "under the sea " that we can see bat transparency ! it would be awesome I think ^^
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#3 Legoking

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 04:14 AM

Opinion
Lt. de Martinet, you have a very interesting MOC here. One thing that I am now seeing a lot is that more and more people are including the new pirates in their MOCs, just like you did. I really like how you made the water out of transparent blue bricks. The treasure that you put on the guards boat looks newer than the old pirate's gold. I also like how you have a pirate swimming in the water towards the boat. Is that a barrel on the guard's boat. The wave that is being made by the paddle is nicely done.

Possible Improvements

1) I think you should put the torch in the little hole towards the front of the boat and replace the torch with a paddle.

2) Maybe you could add a shark or shark fin sticking out of the water.

Non-Brick Related

1) Have more pictures of your MOC.

Overall- This is a great PTV entry. I like that you included the new pirates in your MOC. There are some little things to fix. I wish you the best of luck!

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#4 Erdbeereis

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 07:01 AM

You did an excellent job with this Lt. De Martinet! :pir_laugh2:  

The water is beautiful and it's great to see that lovely dark blue boat in action. Your barrel is really nice and the treasure provides a good color contrast to the deep blue. I love the sneaky pirate moving in for the attack.... :pir-devil:  The wave created by the paddle is a great detail that you included.

A few improvement ideas:

1) It seems that the italics are a bit messed up, since you used <> instead of [].

2) I think it would be good like LegoKing said, to add a shark fin or two sticking out of the water. It would fill up the water a bit more, and add some more excitement.

3) Taking a close-up of the pirate would be a wise move I think.

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Fantastic job with your entry!
I love entries that have what I like to call "Anticipation cruelty", where you know something bad is about to happen but it hasn't yet.
To me, that about as cruel as it gets.

Great work! :kahuka:

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#5 Zorro

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 07:25 PM

My opinion:
A bit too "simple" for a PTV entry, I think you need to make at least some improvements.

Possible improvements:
1) It just isn't very cruel, but that can be changed so easily! Add a shark (or even better: add MANY sharks) or let the boat be surrounded by pirates. The soldier is so focused on his gold he wouldn't notice it anyway.

2) Put the torch on the front or back of the boat, and give him two paddles, as said he tries to be as fast as possible to get on land, you can't do that with one paddle...

3) Personnaly I would have put the pirate a LOT closer to the boat, since that would be really threathening to him!

Non-brick related advise:
1) Take at least one more picture of the pirate, and preferrably another one of the sharks if you add them.

#6 JimBee

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Posted 23 November 2008 - 09:19 PM

Excellent, Lt. de Martinet. :pir-classic: The SNOT [transparent] water has to be the best I've seen this whole competition. The little disturbance in the water (caused by the paddle) is a wonderful detail. The barrel is superb, and the treasure offers a nice vibrant focal point, to take the viewer's eyes away from the pirate, only to later realize that he's there (good use of the chrome lightsaber hilt). The barrel is also nicely done, very unique.

What could be improved:
To fill up the water more, I'd add a fish, and not a shark, to maintain that suspenseful vibe. To me, a shark would just take that all away and replace it with sheer terror (which isn't a bad thing, but the suspense just makes your entry unique and better, in my opinion). Also, this is a minor point, but if you have the metallic gold treasure chest from the Indy truck chase, I would use that instead of the pearl gold one, as well as the other pearl gold pieces. I just think metallic looks better.
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But great entry, very cruel and suspenseful. Good luck on placing in the contest!

Edited by JimButcher, 23 November 2008 - 09:19 PM.

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