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14 replies to this topic  – Started by Ryan_T , Nov 22 2008 07:06 AM

#1 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 07:06 AM

Posted Image Vig. 38c
Ok So, Heres my Smallest Moc and my second MOC ever. yea SECOND!! Anyways here's The Story I be Providing ye with today.


Captain Red Eye was once a very strict Captain. What happened to Red Eye, you ask? Well Sit back and Enjoy this Tale.

Long Ago Captain Red Eye Ruled The Sea With an Iron Hook. Pillaging and Plundering with his Crewman.
But on one Stormy night, Captain Red Eye tempted death. He went searching for The Flying Dutchman. His Crew tried to get him to turn back, his course was set. As everyone prepared for battle with The Flying Dutchman, Captain Red Eye's watchman spotted something in the distance. It was a ship, It looked green and seemed to glow with evil. Captain Red Eye knew this ship to be, The Flying Dutchman. He quickly Yelled "GET READY FOR BATTLE!". The crew knew what Captain Red Eye was talking about. so they quickly ran to the cannons and Loaded them for battle. The captain of The flying Dutchman saw the ship headed straight for him. he knew what was going to happen. He yelled at his crew to prepare for battle. when Captain Red Eyes ship was within Cannon range, They began to open fire. The Flying Dutchman's crew was not afraid. They fired their cannons and knocked down Captain Red Eye's Masts. Captain Red Eye was Getting a bit scared now. As the battle raged on, the only remaining ship was.... The Flying Dutchman. Captain Red Eye was Defeated. As their Ship sank Red Eye Swam To a small island. It was then he know he could never be a captain again. He searched the island and found a small village. There was a young lad leaning against a tree. Captain Red Eye took the lad's bandanna off of his head and carefully sat his Captains hat on top the lad's Head and went on. He stumbled upon a tailoring shop, There he traded his captains clothes in for a sleeveless shirt. when he came out the door. there was a lady about his age. He drew his sword and chased her down the beach with Some Dirty intentions.

And that was how Captain Red Eye, lost his Captain Rank.

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Here is Captain Red Eye Running After the Lady.

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That's it for my small entry. Hope you liked the Story And the MOC! :D

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:42 PM.

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



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#2 Guss

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 10:06 AM

ahah nice^^

I like it, simple but really nice^^

what I would suggest you to improve is
1/replace one of the littles plants by a palm tree, it'll make it look less " little"

2/retake the three first pictures, they looks .. "yellow" or take the last one again to makes it look yellow to^^ or edit this in photoshop XD

apart from this, I see no improvement to it^^

great job and good luck for the contest!  :thumbup:
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#3 Erdbeereis

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 03:45 PM

Nice small entry Davy Blocks!

It has a nice story behind it, it's very smooth and has good action. The sloped sand looks very nice and makes the entry much more interesting.

That a good choice of torso for the pirate, one that I've never seen used that way before.

Some possible improvements:

1) I agree with Guss that it might be wise to include one larger plant, such as a palm tree to sort of enlarge the entry a bit.
You could even just stack 3 of the types of plants you have now on top of each other..

2) Perhaps you could take the pictures on a white or other more neutral color, as the green-yellow you have now distracts from your entry a little.

3) If you put a larger plant in, I think it always looks nice to put a parrot perched on top.


==============================================================

Very good work on this. :thumbup:

You captured the contest's theme, while not being extremely violent. :cannon:

Good luck in the contest! :monkey:

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#4 Legoking

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 04:02 PM

Opinion
That was the greatest story I have every seen Davy_Blocks. Your story really ties into your MOC very well. I like how you made the beach and the water because they are both very smooth. I also like how you included some little plants to give it an even better island effect. The minifig expressions you used for the young lady and the pirate are great!

Possible Improvements

1) For the young lady, I would put her arms in the air while she is running to give her a more frightened look.

2) Your MOC is 6 x 8 studs. I would use those two other studs with wise to make your MOC bigger to add a palm tree.

Non-Brick Related

1) Your pictures have too much of a green background. Try using white paper as a background.

2) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. Example; Anyways here's The Story I be Providing ye with today. It should be; Anyway, here is the story I will be providing you with today. Another example of capitalization at the beginning of a sentence; he knew. It should be; He knew.......

Overall- I think this is a great little MOC you have got here Davy_Blocks. You have done a good job putting down tiles to give you MOC an even smoother look. I wish you the best of luck!

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#5 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 07:33 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 22 2008, 05:02 PM, said:

Opinion
2) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. Example; Anyways here's The Story I be Providing ye with today. It should be; Anyway, here is the story I will be providing you with today. Another example of capitalization at the beginning of a sentence; he knew. It should be; He knew.......

What, I can't Talk like a Pirate on a Pirate Themed Forum!?!? Arr! Ye Be Walkin' the plank.  :pir_laugh2:

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#6 Legoking

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 08:12 PM

View PostDavy_Blocks, on Nov 22 2008, 12:33 PM, said:

What, I can't Talk like a Pirate on a Pirate Themed Forum!?!? Arr! Ye Be Walkin' the plank.  :pir_laugh2:

You can talk like a pirate, but there was some grammar mistakes that I said in my other post. Definitely, it is ok to talk like a pirate
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#7 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 08:22 PM

Ok Heres the Updated Pictures. Thanks for all the Great Advice. :D can you spot all the animals? I am sure ye can...

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There be the update mates, Can ye think of anything else to add?  :pir-tongue:

Ok I am so not using flickr again....

Edited by Davy_Blocks, 22 November 2008 - 08:24 PM.

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



"I have one question myself Admiral, what is a spanker? it sounds like a terrible device!"
-Admiral Ron


#8 Bob

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 08:34 PM

Looks better! I like the adding of the tree! Good job!

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#9 Legoking

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 08:38 PM

Opinion
Again, Davy_Blocks, you have made some very nice improvements n your MOC. I am glad you decided you use those two extra studs with wise. The gives you more space to add a palm tree. I like the different slopes you have created with the ground. I really like that you added animals and I can spot all of them. There is a monkey in a tree, a parrot sitting on the plants and a snake crawling on the ground. I also like that you took a picture of just the minifigs and I like that you have the rest of you MOC as the background. You can see how the white background makes your MOC stand out better.

Possible Improvements

1) If you like, you can also have a crab crawling around the sand into the water.

Non-Brick Related

1) Your updated pictures look a little small. Make them bigger and remember that the maximum size is 800 x 600 pixels.

Overall- You have made some very nice improvements on your MOC. I like how you added animals and the palm tree into your MOC. The white background also really helps your MOC stand out better. I wish you the best of luck!

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#10 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:03 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 22 2008, 09:38 PM, said:

1) If you like, you can also have a crab crawling around the sand into the water.

2) Your updated pictures look a little small. Make them bigger and remember that the maximum size is 800 x 600 pixels.
I don't have any LEGO Crabs... I can probably make some....

And For the Pictures... I used Flickr, so... Next update I'll Put them in Photobucket  :pir-classic:

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



"I have one question myself Admiral, what is a spanker? it sounds like a terrible device!"
-Admiral Ron


#11 Guss

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:07 PM

you did some nice improvement ^^ that's way better now ^^ I count.. 3 animals, am I right ? ^^

my last suggestion to your entry is to post bigger pictures, then edit your first post to put them there^^ ( it's the first post that will be judged ) .
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#12 Erdbeereis

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 01:58 AM

Much better Davy Blocks. :pir-classic:

The white makes it much easier to see the subject of the picture, and the addition of more animal and plant life is very welcome.

A few last ideas:

1) Personally, I think it would be best to use either only yellow or only tan for the sand, as when they are mixed it looks a bit odd.

2) The first picture is at a perfect angle, but is a bit blurry. Since the 1st one is the one that will be judged, you might want to re-take it.

3) Do you perhaps have some little white plates or tiles to place near the shoreline to look like waves?

==============================================================================

You did a great job with your improvements, and I think they give you a much better chance in the contest.

I once again wish you good luck!

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#13 Zorro

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Posted 25 November 2008 - 07:29 PM

Oopss....I didn't see this one! Sorry!

My opinion:
A good and well beyond average entry. The theme is a bit simple but you worked it out just fine!

Possible improvements:
1) Is there any way you could let the screaming woman stumble upon a rock or something? That way it would look more cruel IMHO!

2) As Erdbeereis1 said, I would only use yellow for the sand if you have it, even when that means not every part is tiled!

Non-brick related advise:
1) Your first pic, which is the one that will be judged, could be done better I think.
Try to avoid the shadows by adding more natural light from above and zoom in a bit more (or cut parts of the sides off in Photoshop).


I wish you the best of luck!

Edited by zorro3999, 25 November 2008 - 07:29 PM.


#14 pirate4life

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 09:27 PM

prettey good but need to have more action. need to have something dead of dying or at least a stabbed snake.Not very much else to comment on so ill give it a 2 and a half out of 5.

#15 Patriot720

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 09:37 PM

Wow what an excellent entry! This is one of my favorites in the small division. I don't see anything that could be improved upon, except for the mix of tan and yellow for sand. I would choose one or the other, but regardless, great entry!! :pir-laugh:




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