Enough: Part 10
Posted 17 November 2008 - 11:27 AM
Part 10: Why don't you hang around?
Last time, the park group stayed the night at a building inhabited by a seemingly crazy man. These guys are the luckiest, aren't they:
"Thats the captain!"
"Ohhh its early."
"Glad to see you made it." "You too."
Hayes: "So why's this door open?"
"Whoah." "Hey guys! Get down here."
"Where's that shirtless guy?"
"The weirdo took the bike."
"If you insist on takin the truck, Nick's comin with me. You can have Sang."
"Ok. What about the other guy?"
"Ahhh, he's only got a bat. He can come with me."
"Nick, you're with me. Sang, you're with them."
"Hey... man. You're goin with the others through the train." "Just a minute."
"Right, wheres the level crossing?"
"How long is this guy gonna take? He's only got a bat." "I'll check on him."
Jack charges the back door of the carriage:
And finds an easier way:
1. Now, I can finally say, the next part won't be for ages. Seriously.
2. I'm posting at this time on a Monday, because I have a day off.
3. I hope some people are happy with the drop in the numbers. I really didn't plan this. When I thought of the loner taking the bike and leaving the wire, my mind went to a weird place. Thank God i'm back
4. The quick posting of these parts is only because of my day off. I have exams soon, and will be offline a lot more.
Thanks for looking.
Posted 17 November 2008 - 02:04 PM
Thanks Asuka (again ). Yes, I like how this part seemed a little weird compared to the others, or as you said: Sinister.
Posted 17 November 2008 - 03:39 PM
He is alone. He has a fridge, a bat, 2 dumbells (weights) and a bike. Some shirtless guy was given shelter for the night by him, and in return Mr. Loner takes the bike. Thats gotta be hard to deal with. The bike was his only form of entertainment, and escape if he was ever surrounded.
I was also trying to cut down on the numbers as people had suggested. Like i've said, its dramatic, not actiony. I know I didn't say much about the new guy, but i'm showing how fickle people can be in times of crisis. (i've learned a bit in English class these few months ) Hope that helps.
Posted 17 November 2008 - 11:24 PM
The suicide was unexpected though, but I liked it.
Posted 18 November 2008 - 08:46 AM
Reply to this topic
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users