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You or your girl?


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17 replies to this topic  – Started by oDDerFisken , Nov 14 2008 01:33 PM

#1 oDDerFisken

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 01:33 PM

Posted Image Vig. 34a
If you think my first entry was cruel you haven't seen my medium :pir-skull:  It's called "You or your girl - someone will die!"

It's pretty simple really. A cannon loaded with powder and a BIG cannonball and a man who can make a choice. But does he dare? The torch will burn the rope that holds the other torch. This torch will fall down and light the fuse to the cannon and blow someone to atoms. Wether it's him or his love only he has the power to decide.

Some of you will might sadistic but that was kinda the point :pir-tongue: . I guess I'm somehow inspired by the "Saw"-films.


The pirate had captured him and his wife on their honeymoon on a beach in the Caribbean. But they were nice.. well at least they gave him a choice. With one of his feet he can reach a stick and turn the cannon away from himself before the fuse goes off. Only trouble is that the only direction he can turn it to, is the direction of his girl. And she's stuck because the pirates have put her in mortar to her waist.
What he does not now is that the pirates have put a big barrel of powder behind his love, so if he decides to aim the cannon at her they will both die due the explosion. The pirates think this is fair. If a man chooses to kill his love to save his own life, he shall die.
Meanwhile the mastermind of this little construction is standing out of sight of the two prisoners and having a last laugh of his genius trap before he takes of to plunder, rape and kidnap once again.
The time is ticking. The rope won't last long, and the fuse will go of. What will he do?


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These are just to illustrate what will  happen when the cannons goes off. The torch falls down and lightens the fuse nomatter what direction the cannon points. And then I turned the cannon so you can see to two possible outcomes of this scenario.
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The to prisoners and the mastermind who is very pleased with himself.
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There's more picrutes in the folder when public

Comments, suggestions and critic will be most apreaciated :pir-classic:

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:37 PM.


#2 Guss

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 02:29 PM

that's a nice entry^^ if it was me, I'll kill the girl  :pir-skull: :P

I can see some little things to improve this entry, maybe add a rat somewhere, and make something with that lost space behind the wall to the left!

you can also add some details in the rooms itself, like a skeleton tied to a wall, as if the pirates tortured someone else before^^

well that's really a nice entry, but it needs some little things to became a great entry!

anyway, good luck for the contest !
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#3 Zorro

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 07:14 PM

My opinion:
A very original and well-made MOC, this is maybe the most creative entry of the entire division! I like it a lot, so cruel and piraty.

Possible improvements:
1) The facial expression of the guy looks a bit out of place, unless he is glad to get rid of his wife/girlfriend :pir-laugh: ! It is a bit neutral for me, but if you don't have any other, it is always better then a standard head.

2) I would make it even more cruel. I would add a barrel behind the girl, representing a barrel filled with gunpowder or explosives. He doesn't know that and the girl can't tell because she has been gagged.

3) Some details, like a shovel against the wall next to the girl, a rat like Guss suggests.

Non-brick related advise:
1) Try to leave some space between the most important sentences, it makes the text easier to read.

#4 oDDerFisken

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 09:25 PM

View PostGuss, on Nov 14 2008, 04:29 PM, said:

if it was me, I'll kill the girl  :pir-skull: :P

I would'nt doubt that for a second Guss :pir-wink:

It seems like both of you like it. I'm very pleased :pir-sweet:

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 14 2008, 09:14 PM, said:

My opinion:
A very original and well-made MOC, this is maybe the most creative entry of the entire division! I like it a lot, so cruel and piraty.

I am most flattered mr. zorro3999 :blush:


I'm gonna add some more details tomorrow I think. Unfortunatly I'm in no possession of rats. I've got some snakes, bats, lots of parrots.. and a small dino (but I'm pretty sure that won't be a great add). But I will add a skeleton or two. Some chains and stuff.

I like your idea about the barrel of gunpowder. Indeed very cruel :pir-skull:  I might gonna add it, but I'm not sure yet 'caus somehow my idea of this was MOC was to let one live and let the other die. But I'm gonna think about it.

Thanks very much :pir_laugh2:

Edited by oDDerFisken, 15 November 2008 - 12:39 PM.


#5 Erdbeereis

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 09:32 PM

Nice and Cruel Der Fisken! :pir-devil:
The idea is very creative and you pulled it off well. Your lighting mechanism is nicely made, I really like the palm tree trunk torch.
As for the head on the man, I personally like it, as it looks like he's extremely stressed out. :pir-tongue:

A few improvements you could make are:

1) I think that adding a skeleton or some spiders would be a nice addition and make it look like a dirty prison.

2) By the cannon, perhaps you could have a pirate onlooker with a really mean looking head. Someone that enjoys seeing cruelty in action.

3) Zorro's idea of adding some barrels to simulate barrels of gunpowder is a great idea. Then you could also scatter around some black dots on the floor for the gunpowder.

4) Since you have that nice big space on the left side, I would recommend making it into something like a storeroom full of weapons and food. It would add a lot and fill up the empty space, while also providing some good contrast to the rest of the entry.

=================================================================

Great creativity on your entry! You really captured the feel of the contest well.

Good luck in the contest! :pir-classic:

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#6 Legoking

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 03:23 AM

Opinion
A very good idea indeed oDDerFisken! How you made the fuse using rope is very smart. The wall color fits your MOC scene very well by the gloomy effect. Also, how the cannon is on a rotating plate.

Possible Improvements

1) I would put tiles everywhere to give your MOC a smoother and nicer look.

2) Maybe you could add an evil pirate laughing.

3) The expressions on the minifig faces look to standard. I would change them to a screaming face.

Non-Brick Related

1) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. An example; simpel. Should be simple.

Overall- You have a very good idea and would probably the first thing a real pirate would do to his victims. Some minor improvements to fix, but other than that, you have done a great job. I wish you the best of luck!

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#7 JimBee

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 06:14 AM

Very creative, odderfisken! :pir-classic:

What I like:
The torch-cannon mechanism is pretty ingenious, and is the focal point of your MOC. What I also like is that the pirates put the lady in the mortar, which is cruel along with the whole plot of the man choosing himself or his loved one. Most cruel indeed.

What could be improved:
The main thing that bothers me is that empty space on the left side. You could make that the outside of the building, and add some foliage, perhaps an animal or two, or, like Erdbeereis said, a storeroom with weapons and supplies. Also, the dark grey on the light grey to represent stone tiling is a good idea, but I think it would look better as a dark grey 2x2 plate attached sideways to either
A. A light grey modified (as Bl calls it) 2x2 with two studs on the side, or
B. A light grey 2x2 with two Technic holes, and add two Technic half-pins (the blue ones) to make the studs on the side.

Or use both.


But good entry. Make these few improvements for an overall better entry (in my opinion), and good luck!

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#8 oDDerFisken

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 12:46 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 15 2008, 05:23 AM, said:

1) I would put tiles everywhere to give your MOC a smoother and nicer look.
Hm.. I'll might do it on the floor, but the tiles represents an ending on a wall or surface and the walls continue up, som I'm not sure I'll do it on the walls.

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 15 2008, 05:23 AM, said:

2) Maybe you could add an evil pirate laughing.
I've considered that. Well my first intention was to make an evil trap which actually didn't take a pirate to look. They can kill themselfs this way even without a pirate standing and watching. But I've might put a pirate there somewhere when I've made my improvements. The idea is cruel :pir-wink:

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 15 2008, 05:23 AM, said:

3) The expressions on the minifig faces look to standard. I would change them to a screaming face.
I've tried to find a head for the man which is uncomfortable and still not slovenly. And the girls head is pretty standard, but it's all I've got.

Non-Brick Related

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 15 2008, 05:23 AM, said:

1) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. An example; simpel. Should be simple.
I've tried to kill them now :pir-wink:


Also I'm gonna do something about the empty space at the left. I can might come up with a cruel idea :pir-skull:

Thanks for all the comments. They are most appreciated :pir-classic:

#9 oDDerFisken

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 05:28 PM

NEW PICTURES!

I've made a lot of improvements. I think I've almost used everyone of your ideas.
Haven't put in a rat even though it was a brilliant idea, but I have no rats :pir_bawling:  So I put in a snake instead.

I've tiled the walls and floors, made a storageroom for weapons, added a pirate having a laugh and put a barrel of powder behind the girl. most evil :pir-skull:

Hope you like it.

#10 Guss

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 05:41 PM

the improvements you did are really nice^^ you smartly used the "lost space" to make a kind of armoury ^^ that's nice! I just miss a little rat in the armoury , but that's not very important^^
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#11 Zorro

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 06:01 PM

Very well done making those improvements. And you incorporated the barrel-that-explodes idea, now I am flattered!

This is a diamond-strenght entry, and certainly one of my favourites.

#12 Legoking

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 10:45 PM

oDDerFisken, your improved MOC looks much better. You can see what I mean by putting tiles down. It gives it a much smoother effect. Also, I like that evil pirate standing there, looking at the poor villagers. I am glad that you have liked my idea on adding an evil pirate. The snake that you added to your MOC gives more detail to it. The storage room for the weapons and ammunition is a good use of space.

You have made some good improvements oDDerFisken. Keep up the good work!

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#13 Dark Brickz

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 10:51 PM

yup if it was me to i would kill the girl to....
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#14 Thrash

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 10:56 PM

I'd just point it at the big stone wall between me and the girl and hope the wall holds up...

Or you could always just lie down and let the cannon ball go over your head.


Seriously though, this MOC is a a million times better now that you smoothed everything out.  Great job!

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#15 Erdbeereis

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 01:16 AM

That looks so much better! :pir-classic:

The tiles really enhace your entry, and the captain by the torch is brilliant. Your weapon chamber is my favorite though, you made that look great and it fills up the space perfectly.

Last few ideas:

1) Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the captain's red pants. They look a bit flashy and clash with the somewhat subdued look of the rest of the outfit. Brown or black would be better I think.

2) Scattering some black round 1 x 1 plates to simulate gunpowder around the girl would be great and add some cruelty.

=======================================================================

Your entry is loads better now that you made some improvements, and I think you did a great job.

Good luck! :pir-classic:

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#16 pr0visorak

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 07:05 AM

This a complicated Moc, however it has a lot of horor in it! But there are somethings I think you should improve on. There is another room from your moc of which you have not taken a photo of yet. This is of vital importance as we are not able to see the full potential of your Moc if we dont get to see the details. It is like painting a picture, the overall picture looke good but it is the details that make it look its best.Speaking of pictures, can you resize your pictures please? The black line above it is very distracting. After all, your Moc is creative but your presentation must be good. Even if other people's Moc is better, if your presentaion than it will bring you quite far! About presentation,yourpirate minifig looks a bit weird. I feel that the red legs and the red pad does not match his torso.Of course this is in my opinion.That is all and may lady luck be with you. :pir-skull:

Edited by pr0visorak, 21 November 2008 - 07:33 AM.

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#17 admiral marcel

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 04:02 AM

great job :cannon: :thumbup:

great job it looks like know one could get out :cannon: :shark:

#18 Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 10:35 PM

that's pretty high on the cruel-o-meter.

Good Job! :pir_laugh2:
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