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Knock, Knock, Boom, Splat!-WIP


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13 replies to this topic  – Started by Nich Artri , Nov 14 2008 03:38 AM

#1 Nich Artri

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 03:38 AM

Posted Image Vig. 42d
All My entries for the Pillage the Village Contest revolve around the Seven Deadly Sins Pirate crew. This is my large entry, and thanks to suggestions an critiquing from the community, I think it looks tons better! Thanks guys!

Capn' Pride, Gluttony, Sloth, and Wrath are on their way to ransack Port Royale's Imperial Guard armory, but what's this! The gates are locked tight!

"Avast! Those soldiers over there look rather helpful! Let's see if they'll assist us in getting the door open..."

Knock, knock, boom, splat~  :pir-devil:
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Private Wilkins Dilemma (notice the pile of shakos from previous "ammunition")
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Once again....splat.
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The Admiral is not amused....
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"Cor blimey! I blew his blinkin' head off!"
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Fight of Pride
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A lot of the stuff suggested I couldn't do, due to a lack of pieces (i.e. the transparent red plates for blood). Still, a lot of the advice helped. Thanks again!

Edited by SlyOwl, 15 November 2009 - 09:34 PM.

Cry Ecky Ecky Potang and release the Saber-toothed limes of war!
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#2 Erdbeereis

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 04:13 AM

Nice work! :pir-classic:
It seems to have nice details and also great action. The blood splat on the door looks nice and gruesome, and the powder horn is brilliant!

A few improvements you could make are:

1) The first picture is the one that will be judged, so I would take one that shows the entire entry, not just one detail.

2) The sand looks a bit bare, so I would recommend adding some more foliage, dead bodies, anything that would fill it up a bit more.

3) I think that the red clip doesn't look too good as blood, some trans-red tiles or plates would be much better.

4) It would look really nice to put some lanterns outside of the door for some extra detail.


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It's a bit hard to see everything with no overview picture, but from what I can see well, it looks great!

Good entry! :pir-classic:

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#3 JimBee

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 04:42 AM

Good entry, Nich.

What I like:
It's really cruel to stuff someone in a cannon, good job on that. :pir_laugh2: I also really like your face choice for the pirates and soldiers alike.

What could be improved:
I think some more blood and dead bodies would be a good thing for your MOC, especially to liven up the sand. I would also used trans-red instead of solid red for blood. Also, perhaps you could make this a little more detailed by making it more hectic (flying cannonballs, sneaky pirates, etc.).

I look forward to your final entry, and good luck! :pir-classic:

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#4 Guss

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 02:39 PM

nice entry ^^ what I see to improve it is simple : give the man on the canon a scared head ^^ but if you don't have one, that's saad :/ well I also agree with Erdbeereis, the d├ęcor looks empty, I'll suggest to add some details on the ground, but I like your entry..
remind me a little  "knockin on heaven doors" ... well , they'll knock to it after knockin to this one^^

anyway I like the idea, just add some details and take better pictures and it'll became a really great entry^^

and of course Good luck with the contest!  :thumbup:
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#5 Zorro

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 06:59 PM

My opinion:
Looks like an average to good MOC, the "theme" has already been done though. Still it holds some great potential.

Possible improvements:
1) Try to make it look even more cruel, the soldier that splatted against the door shouldn't have clean hair like he has now, and the blood would look better if you used trans-red bricks or plates like Strawberry1 suggested.

2) I would add some stuff to the desert, maybe some plants or weapons from the battle between pirates and soldiers?

3) Maybe you could display some brown plates or bricks next to the gate, so it looks like the soldiers crushing against it do at least some damage. Or to make it look like the pirates tried to get in before.

Non-brick related advise:
1) Always think of the fact ONLY your first picture will be used for judging purposes!
Taking a picture like your fifth one and improving it a little (make everything of the MOC visible) would be the best I think.

#6 oDDerFisken

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 09:39 PM

Nice entry. And perfectly cruel for the contest.

I like you sentences about the helpful soldiers who can help them getting the door open.

The blood-effect on the gates is nice.. very bloody :pir-skull:

Your last pictures with the presentation of the guys is nice I think. It's alwas nice to see all the people in a MOC side by side for :thumbup:

The guy in the cannon is nice too. Can't wait to see him splatter into the wall.

You piratecrew is well made. I like custom made pirate a lot. They often inspire me.


Possible improvements
The guy who has been fire at the door should be splintered to pieces. Smashed to atoms. Splashed flat as a pancake. Blow to.. ehm.. I think you get my point. If you could dismantle him, and make him look like blown to pieces it would be great I think. And off course covered with blood.

You might consider to add your desert some vegetation and small rocks and such. Maybe even a animal. Just as Zorro said :pir-wink:  He' mostly right :pir-hmpf:

You should retake the photos in my opinion. First of all a generel view of the MOC is missing.



Good luck with the contest

#7 Nich Artri

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 01:07 AM

M'kay! I've used some suggestions, I've redone some scenery, and I've retaken pictures of the finished product... much better IMO. What do you guys think?

You Might want to check out my small entry, too...I've done some renovations there as well. :pir-grin:

Edited by Nich Artri, 15 November 2008 - 01:08 AM.

Cry Ecky Ecky Potang and release the Saber-toothed limes of war!
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#8 Legoking

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 02:49 AM

Opinion
Yet another good PTV entry involving the pirates attacking the Imperial armory, but the pirates struggle to get in. I like the big battle that is going on the beach. Especially that cannons with a head in it that is getting ready to fire at the armory walls.

Possible Improvements

1) This is kind of small for a PTV large entry. Maybe you could expand and make your MOC bigger.

2) I don't see any blood at all, but there is a big fight going on, with dead soldiers. Put some blood on top of and around the dead soldiers. I also see that there is a head hanging out of the cannon. You could possibly put some blood dripping from the cannon.

3) To make your MOC look nicer, you could put some tan tiles down to give it a smoother affect. Also, put some gray bricks as rock.

Non-Brick Related

1) Most of your pictures are fuzzy. I would retake them.

Overall- You have done some nice work Nich Artri and it looks really good. There are some little things I would fix and your MOC would look better if you had more detail. I wish you the best of luck!

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Edited by LegoKing, 15 November 2008 - 02:51 AM.

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#9 oDDerFisken

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 12:35 PM

Much better Nich Artri. First of all the first picture represents your MOC much better than before.

And you have made pieces of a man in front of the gate. Nice!

Youve added some wall in the sides and that good I think.

Possible improvements
It's good you writes that we shall notice the shakos. It's a funny idea, but it's very difficult to see them. I would try to retake that picture, so your pile of shakos are more visible and not so blurry. Maybe if you made a longer distance from cam to objects that picture would be better.

You could might add some blood underneath the soldier shattered to pieces.

The soldier in the front of the first picture with a cutless in his back should be in a bloodpool I think.

I would still add some stones or a small rock somewhere in your MOC.


Definitely a better MOC than before. You improvements has helped, but you can still improve this bloody entry :pir-skull:
Good luck with the contest!

#10 Legoking

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 04:12 AM

Some nice improvements you have got here. I can tell that the pictures are better than the old ones.
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#11 Guss

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 10:22 AM

I can see something to improve it, wash your white bricks ^^ there is some white bricks that are not really whites around the door^^

apart from this, your improvements are nice, but I still don't understand why the head of the soldier didn't "crashed" on the door^^

Edited by Guss, 20 November 2008 - 10:22 AM.

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#12 Erdbeereis

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 01:01 AM

Now that you've made a much better overview picture, I can see a few more things you could do to make this even better.

Some ideas

1) I think it would be wise if you have enough,  to put some white tiles on the exposed studs on the fort, to give it a smoother look.

2) The solid red looks fine as blood, but may look better if you had some red tiles instead of plates.

3) I like the way you have the flame on an inverted slope, but I think a brown on black one might make it look a bit better.

4) Your pictures are slightly grainy, maybe you could re-take them with more light?

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Good work so far, and good luck!

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#13 Nich Artri

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 03:28 AM

Okay! Last one! Here's what I did with my large entry: doubled the baseplate size, redesigned fort, added belltower, added severed head and more blood tiles, added a parrot, changed out the admiral's hat and gave Sloth a peg leg (though you can't really tell  :pir-sceptic: )

I also bleached my old white bricks (those things haven't had a decent cleaning in the 10 years I've owned 'em  :pir_laugh2: ).

The major issue with this entry for me was its general design. It has vastly improved IMO; although, due to brick restrictions, I couldn't do a lot of the stuff I wanted. Ah well...cest la vie. :pir-classic:

Thanks for the comments, critiques and suggestions! They were much appreciated and really helped me out with this entry.

GYAARR! :pir_laugh2:
-Nich
Cry Ecky Ecky Potang and release the Saber-toothed limes of war!
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#14 Erdbeereis

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 03:53 AM

Oooh! I love that belltower. :thumbup:

The white bricks look so much better now that they are cleaned up a bit, and the new pictures are also much clearer.

I think you did a very good job considering you had some limitations brick-wise.

Nice work and good luck! :kahuka:

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