9 replies to this topic

[Lt. de Martinet]

Vig. 35b

THE OARSMAN'S DEMISE

The captain gets tired of sitting on a raft, floating aimlessly for hours. He's hungry -- and not above cannibalism. He nudges his oarsman, making the latter drop his oar. While he fetches it, the captain aims...

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:39 PM.

[Zorro]

My opinion:
Very good, Lt. De Martinet! Although we have seen cannibalism MOCS before, I always seem to like them!

Possible improvements:
1) I would give the Captain a big knife in his hands...

2) Why just pointing the gun? Let him be dead already!Blood everywhere and possibly one arm cut off (which the Captain holds into his other hand!) Mjamie!

3) Some more details: like an epaulette, a plume and maybe even a fish (shark) in the water that gives the Captain a bit of competition?

Non-brick related advise:
1) Perhaps you could add more pictures? One that shows a bit more of the pirate fetching his paddle perhaps, with the Captain lurking behind him!

Edited by zorro3999, 14 November 2008 - 01:32 AM.

[Erdbeereis]

Nice work Lt. De Martinet!
The raft is simple, but very well-designed, and the idea is very cruel without being overly bloody. The choice of head for the captain is good as well.

A few improvements you could make are:

1) Just a minor point, but I think it would look nice to put epaulettes and a plume on the captain.

2) I think it would look good to put a grey slope in the water to give the impression of a shark. It would fill up the water nicely.

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Very good work on your entry, and good luck!

[JimButcher]

Very good, Lt. de Martinet.

What I like:
Good plot, and good use of that baseplate. I also like how you put rubber bands on the raft, which add color to your entry.

What could be improved:
I would like to see some blood; a little on the raft and a lot in the water.

Good luck!

[oDDerFisken]

Nice idea. Cruel pirate captain really.
I like you little story, and the evilness of it   To kill his own oarsman like that - it's just after the script
It's a very simpel MOC but I like that - 'caus you compensize for the simpel design with it's cruelty.
You raft looks good I tink

Possible improvements
I think it's a bit unrealistic if those two guys have floated around for days. The raft is very tiny, and they haven't even got any water. They'd be dead already without water.

Blood is always nice, but off course that would somehow spoil the exciting point you've captured.

Some more details as Zorro also pointed out. Epaulette, a feather in the hat. I'd also like the piratecaptain to wear a pirate-hat. With the skull on it

Add some more pics. Even though it's very simpel MOC you could take some pictures of the two pirates standig together so we could see them. You might also take a picture or two more of the MOC from different angels


Good luck with the contest

Edited by oDDerFisken, 18 November 2008 - 06:20 PM.

[Guss]

that's cruel... but in the same situation, I'll do the same  

very nice vignette Lt. De martinet ! I like it ^^  I don't really now how to improve it ( as usual XD I'm really bad at giving advices )

good luck for the contest!

[Lt. de Martinet]

zorro3999, on Nov 13 2008, 06:28 PM, said:

My opinion:
3) Some more details: like an epaulette, a plume and maybe even a fish (shark) in the water that gives the Captain a bit of competition?

Hmm, I was trying to keep it simple (and I couldn't find any brown epaulettes ), but I'll add them if I can find them.

oDDerFisken, on Nov 14 2008, 06:53 AM, said:

I think it's a bit unrealistic if those two guys have floated around for days. The raft is very tiny, and they haven't even got any water. They'd be dead already without water.

Yes, I suppose you're right. How about several hours?

[Legoking]

Opinion
This is a great example of betrayal and cannibalism. The pirates own captain, going to kill him and eat him because he is hungry. I also think the captain has chosen a great time to kill his crewmate without being noticed.

Possible Improvements

1) Instead of having the water so shinny, you could have it a darker blue color with tiles.

2) Maybe add a shark fin sticking out of the water.

Non-Brick Related

1) It would be nice if you had more pictures of your MOC at different angles.

Overall- This is a great MOC with a terrific idea. Just a few things you need to fix, but other than that, it is great. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

My PTV Entry- Medium
My Brickshelf
My small PTV contest entry is coming soon!

[oDDerFisken]

Lt. de Martinet, on Nov 14 2008, 07:45 PM, said:

Yes, I suppose you're right. How about several hours?

I guess that would do it   Now you just gotta change your story a bit.

[Lt. de Martinet]

oDDerFisken, on Nov 18 2008, 11:21 AM, said:

I guess that would do it   Now you just gotta change your story a bit.

Oh, right.   Fixed!