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Lust's Streetside Hair Salon


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11 replies to this topic  – Started by Nich Artri , Nov 13 2008 11:01 PM

#1 Nich Artri

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 11:01 PM

Posted Image Vig. 41d
All my Entries have to do with the Seven Deadly Sins Pirate Crew. Here's the first entry (but oddly the last one I built...)

While out on the town at Port Royale, Envy commented on the beautiful women, which really got Lust's goat. This scene finds her "beautifying" some of the port's local women.
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Yoink!
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Watching in horror...
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"My hair!"
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Dramatis Personae
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Edited by SlyOwl, 15 November 2009 - 09:33 PM.

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#2 Zepher

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 11:17 PM

Fairly simple, but the idea's funny and well done.  I can't wait to hear about the rest of the pirates!

I wrote a story a while back about a living version of each of the Deadly sins.  Good idea, well done!

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#3 Paul cantu

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Posted 13 November 2008 - 11:47 PM

This is very original and comical. I have a few suggestions to make this better.

1) You should add some grey or dark grey tiles to the street, it would look more detailed.

2)There should be a screaming person in the building who is absolutely appalled by the seen.

Other than that this is great. I can't wait to see your other entries.

#4 Erdbeereis

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 12:02 AM

Funny entry! :pir_laugh2:
Really creative idea, I especially love the lady who's hair has been cut, nice usage of plumes. The curtains are also beautiful and add a lot.

A few improvements you could make are:

1) The main flaw with your entry is that it's a bit empty looking. You could easily fix this though by adding some things to the path such as barrels or crates.

2) I like the idea Paul Cantu had with putting someone in the window screaming. You could make the wall just one stud wide at the bottom so it would fit.

3) Putting tiles on the path and roof would smooth out the entry nicely. For the path you could have a bunch of dark and light grey tiles or even round 1 x 1 plates to look like cobblestones.

4) I think that putting some simple lanterns outside the window would liven it up a bit as well.

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Very good work, and I think with a few touch-ups here and there, your entry will be fantastic!
Good luck! :pir-classic:

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#5 Zorro

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 01:22 AM

My opinion:
A reasonably good entry at this point. The idea is very good and I think the jealous and kind off "retarded"  :pir_kiss: pirate women actually did this to each other and to their prisoners, especcialy when a lot of gold could depend on it.

Possible improvements:
1) Do you have a torso that looks like the minifigs cloaths are ripped apart? That would add a second dimension to Lust's level of jealousy :pir-grin: .

2) Your entry would benefit from some more details and colors, so maybe adding a barrel and lantern (EDeis1) could fix that problem. A chimney on the roof and a rat in the alley are other possibilities.

3) Like Erdbeereis1 suggested, tiling the streets and/or roof would probably make it look better, although you need the pieces to do it.

4) Like Paul Cantu says, putting in a person behind the window that is upset could be a good idea. Maybe you just have the dots available if you let the minifig "lean out" a bit.

Non-brick related advise:
1) Your first picture is the one that will be judged (the only one!) I would therefore let the minifigs look into the lens, you can do this by changing your camera viewpoint and/or by changing the position of the heads.

#6 Nich Artri

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Posted 14 November 2008 - 03:04 AM

Thanks for the comments, criticisms, and helpful hints guys!

Paul cantu said:

1) You should add some grey or dark grey tiles to the street, it would look more detailed.

2)There should be a screaming person in the building who is absolutely appalled by the seen.

Doh! Why didn't I think of these two! I'll look through my minifig collection and see if I can find a suitably shocked head.  :pir-classic:

Erdbeereis1 said:

1) The main flaw with your entry is that it's a bit empty looking. You could easily fix this though by adding some things to the path such as barrels or crates.

4) I think that putting some simple lanterns outside the window would liven it up a bit as well.

I do like these suggestions. I'm always afraid of working on small scenes because if I add too much, it looks crowded in my mind...  :pir-sceptic:

zorro3999 said:

1) Do you have a torso that looks like the minifigs cloaths are ripped apart? That would add a second dimension to Lust's level of jealousy pirate_laugh2.gif .

1) Your first picture is the one that will be judged (the only one!) I would therefore let the minifigs look into the lens, you can do this by changing your camera viewpoint and/or by changing the position of the heads.

Hmm...I wish I had something, bu I'm pretty sure the only thing I have is a Dobby torso.  :pir_laugh2:

I knew I was forgetting something about the pics! I'll try to get a good angle on the revised vignette...maybe something along the lines of the second pic...

Alright! Off to post my other entries and to work on this one! Once again, thanks!

Edited by Nich Artri, 14 November 2008 - 03:07 AM.

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#7 Erdbeereis

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 01:40 AM

I think that the improvements you made on your entry look great! They really add a lot. The lillypad where the frog sits is a wonderful detail.

The way you offset the red plates on the roof is also nice.

A few more improvement ideas:

1) I'm not sure if you have the right amount, but like I said before, I think it would look nice to put red tiles on the roof for a smoother look.

2) The path looks a bit uneven right now. Maybe you could make the surface at the same level, but with differently colored plates, to look like cobblestones.

3) Do you have a scared head for the man in the window? I think that would be a better head choice, but if you don't have one, it still looks fine.

4) Where the water hits the dock supports, you could randomly place some white 1 x 1 tiles or plates for a wave effect.

==========================================================================

Looks great! You did a very good job with your improvements. :pir-classic:

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#8 pr0visorak

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 07:17 AM

Great entry there! This is very creative and different from other MOCs. There are somethings I think you can improve on though,would you mind retaking the pictures as the crumpled cloth at the background is very distracting. I suggest you put normal paper as the backdrop. Speaking of pictures,add a bit more lighting too as your picture is quite dark.By the way,your girl's faces are magnificent but you said that the guy was in horror! That does not seem like horor to me, if you can can you change it to the scary face expression. If you dont have the face you can also get decals from the minifig custmisation forum or kamonians decals. One last thing, can the roof be tiled? The studs sticking out is very distracting.Since you added a frog and a lily pad which I personaly think is a nice touch. Can you add more lily pads to make it look more realistic? That would be great!That is all and may lady luck be with you :pir-skull:

Edited by pr0visorak, 21 November 2008 - 07:35 AM.

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#9 Guss

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:24 AM

Oh I missed this one ! that's a really nice entry, the idea is cruel ^^

what I would improve on it is to add a feather on the head of the skinhead girl, because the pirate girl can't cut all her hairs with only a knife, so a feather simulating the "last hairs" can be nice I think^^
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#10 oDDerFisken

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:59 AM

Interesting MOC. And how cruel

A simple but yet effective cruelness.

The water underneath the streets is a nice touch.

The curtains in the window is very nice!

Possible Improvements
The streets looks, as both Zorro and Erdbeereis said, a bit dull. So adding some like barrels, lanterns and stuff would definitely make your MOC better.

I'd make the man in the window more either pirate- or soldier-ish. His dress now is just black. Which also makes it difficult to see him. Give him another lighter torso, that would help.

Maybe you could tile the roof. That would make it look better.

Your terrified women have the same head. I think you should change one of the to another. The one in the blue could maybe be crying or sad in another way, if you've got a head with that expression.

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Make some improvements, and I'll be back :pir-wink:
Good luck with the contest

#11 Legoking

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:07 PM

Opinion
You have a good idea here Nich Artri. Now I have not seen a pirate woman committing an evil sin so far. I like the girl that had already been attacked by the evil pirate woman with blood spilling everywhere. The little white house looks like a nice place to stay and watch the fight that is going on. One thing that I noticed is that the evil woman's legs are from the mummy minifig in set #5958. That is a good use of minifig legs. I also like the little frog that is sitting on the lily pad under the dock.

Possible Improvements

1) I would put red tiles on the roof and fill in the spots on the ground with no tiles.

2) Maybe you could have the other girl's hair on the ground with blood on it.

Non-Brick Related

1) Some of your pictures look blurry including the first one. I would retake most of them over and I would especially re-take your first one because that is the most important one.

2) Have the words before you pictures in bold. Example, Yoink!, Watching in horror..., and Dramatis Personae.

Overall- You have done a good job creating your MOC, but it still looks a bit too plain for me. Try to add some more detail into it. I wish you the best of luck!

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#12 Nich Artri

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 02:13 AM

Okay, I have finished the final version of Lust's Streetside Hair Salon.

Some changes: the minifig in the window has been changed, the pictures have been taken with a better camera, I found another plume, so I was able to leave the smaller one on top of the shaved woman's head, I added another lilypad, and I added a parrot to the roof.

I wasn't able to add tiles to the roof due to a lack of pieces, same for the white tiles around the pier supports... :/

Also, I didn't add any barrels or lanterns, because, when I did, it looked to crowded for my tastes. The street wasn't smoothed out either, simply because I like how it looks weathered and beaten.

oDDerFisken said:

Your terrified women have the same head.
At first, I didn't know what you meant by this, but looking closer, I could see how they look the same. One is actually a standard scared woman head and the other is one of those new Agents heads.  :pir_laugh2:

Thanks for all the suggestions, comments, and praise guys! It was much appreciated, and I think it helped the final product out immensely!

Cheers!
-Nich
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