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[Wouwie]

Vig. 34c
The day started well for the Islanders. The found 2 pirates and wanted to execute them. But that was the only good thing of the day.....
Overview.

Our stranded captain, Captain Green Hair..euhm...Green Pants , has now been promoted to leader of the tribe. He tried to burn a pirate but Mother Nature ruined everything.

The other 2 Islanders are killing the other pirate with their spears while the soldiers are sneaking on them and an artillery strike hits an tree.

The rocks

But what the Islanders didn't know is that there is an pirate cove in the rocks....


So, that's all for today!
Comments are welcome!

This post has been edited by SlyOwl: 14 November 2009 - 11:38 PM

[Zorro]

My opinion:
Looks very good, Wouwie13! And it's still a WIP so you have possibilities to improve it even more.
I like how the soldiers are hiding and your pirate-tribal leader-Green Hair looks cool as well.
A big from me!

Possible improvements:
1) I would put some additional grey bricks on top of the rock formation, since it looks a bit "build" now, too flat on the horizon I mean.

2) Try to let the pirates that hide in there do something: maybe they could be cooking and eating some food above their fire?

3) I would continue to "finish" the forest a bit. A few more plants, some height differences, rocks, animals,... and do you have tiles? You can use tiles to make things look more smoothly, like the torture plate the pirate is being burned upon.

4) You can always add some minor items to improve the level of detail: like plumes (yes I said it again ) and more weapons for the pirates, I see you stored some in their boxes but it might look better if they hold them. (MINOR)

Non-brick related advise:
1) Next time, take your pictures at 800x600, this is better for the quality of them.

[Guss]

nice entry ^^ I like the idea of it, even if that's not the pirates who are being cruel ^^

I would say that there is a lot of thing to improve, as zorro noticed, but as it s a WIP, that's fine^^

just add some details ( forest, plants, more detailed rocks ) and it'll be a really nice entry !

so I'm looking forward to your future improvement , but anyway, Good luck with the contest^^

[JimButcher]

Nice entry, Wouwie.

What I like:
The fire blowing into the tree is very nicely done. I also like the soldier hiding behind the little bushes. The pirate cove behind the rocks was a neat idea, too, and very cruel to chain up a pirate,.

What could be improved:
I'm afraid that I don't see any cruelty from the pirates, only the islanders. I would try to incorporate this along with some blood to fit the theme of the contest (although blood isn't required).

Other than that, you had some good building techniques, and good luck!

[Erdbeereis]

Looking good Wouwie!
I like the spreading flames a lot. Plus you have lots of action which makes it very exciting.

A few things you could improve are:

1) You should change "the day started out good" to "the day started out well" in your story.

2) I think it would be wise to make the pirates in the cave do something, such as holding some food over the fire to cook it.

3) Building the rocks up a bit and making them a bit more uneven would make your entry look a lot better.

4) Putting some more trees and shrubbery in would fill up the empty spaces nicely.

5) On the baseplate, you could add some animals, rocks, anything really, to liven up the entry. One thing that might look nice is a little shack full of tools.

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Nice work and good luck in the contest!

[RoVer]

My opinion:

nice idea.. the rock formation is a nice start.. the palm tree in flames is a funny thing to see

Possible improvements:

1) make the terrain more "tectonic" whit diferent height.. some water.. in a corner for instant

good luck!


(please.. sorry for my english grammar)

[Wouwie]

Updated first post!

[pr0visorak]

Well matey! Shimmer me Timbers! Your entry looks disgusting! That is good laddy! You are on your way to becoming a deadly pirate builder. Here are some tips to help you improve lad...

1) Retake the pictures laddy, some are too bright and some too dark.

2)I personally love your tree on fire laddy! But I cant see it in the overall shot! Please take a better one and also take a shot of the tree! It looks flaming hot and the technique you used to create the burning effect is very resourceful!

3)Add more description mate! After all, I want to know how they are going to kill the pirates! Be sure to add a lot of blood!

4)As said before, more blood! Blood can be done by adding transparent red studs. Remember matey! Blood is something to admire, love and luagh cruely at!

5)Add a better ladscape laddy, more is it an island? If it is than you can add a little bit of 'water' around it.

6)Maybe some birds flying away from the burnimg tree? I would fly too mate if I was scared.

7)Please change some faces to scared,angry and terrified faces as most of them are smiling.

Thats all lad and may lady luck be with you

[Erdbeereis]

That's looking much better!

The extra landscaping really adds a lot and so does the more built up rock.

One thing you could still work on:

1) The faces on the minifigs look a bit too friendly. If you have some meaner looking heads I would recommend using them.

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Great work on your improvements!

[Legoking]

Opinion
I like your idea very much wouwie13. I like how Captain Green Hair tries to burn a pirate, but Mother Nature does not approve of this and changes the wind, causing the tree to catch on fire. Next to the tied up pirate, I liked all the skeleton heads and bodies. To the left of the tied up pirate, you have quite a nice variety of plants, almost making a forest. In the mists of the forest, I like the battle between the Islander and the pirate. Another thing that I like is that you have two Imperial guards hiding behind the bushes. My most favorite part in your MOC is the pirate’s hideout in the rocks.

Possible Improvements

1) I would put some green tiles on the ground to make your MOC look nicer.

2) Have some snakes or monkeys crawling around in the forest.

3) Add a pirate on top of the rocks looking at what is going on.

Non-Brick Related

1) Your third picture looks really bright. I would re-take that one.

2) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. I would always read over my work.

Overall- This is a great large PTV entry with lots of fighting. As I said before, my favorite part is the pirates little hideout in the cave because it was a clever idea and you created it well. There are some minor things to fix that I recommend you do. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

[oDDerFisken]

Sure that's what I call a bad day.

Nice name chosen to the MOC

The long flame is very nice.

I like that you've made the islanders the "pillagers" in this MOC. It' somehow pretty rare in this contest.

The skeletons shows cruelness. Nice!

Possible improvements
Fir-trees and palms are not growing the same places I'm sure.

I think you should try to look the ground look more rough. Some small rocks and elevations would do the job I think.

I would leave out the pirate in the rock. There's no purpose for them to be there. Not compared to your story anyways. So either remove them, or integrate them in the story.

A bit more blood wouldn't hurt
~~~~~~~~~~
Good Luck with the contest

[admiral marcel]

good job

[Captain Blue Hair]

admiral marcel, on Dec 28 2008, 11:03 PM, said:

good job

Why do you think he did a good job?
Please don't make such short posts, this is a forum, not a chatboard.