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Attack on the Island of the Ancient tower


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19 replies to this topic  – Started by Vadim , Oct 26 2008 04:59 PM

#1 Vadim

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 04:59 PM

Posted Image Vig. 47c
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People`s memorial:

Quote

They are attack us on the early morning 13 of the August, it was Friday…
  We hided in the old tower that was near the see.
  Pirates kill many people that haven`t time to save their lives.
  We almost haven`t got a food and the water. There is only five bullets in our guns and whole 20-30 pirates around us.
  We give them all our money and treasure but they don`t go away, they want our blood!!!

   We don’t survive…
    We all dead…



Pillage the Village
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Edited by SlyOwl, 15 November 2009 - 09:42 PM.


#2 Zorro

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 05:07 PM

My opinion:
Sorry, but this seems a bit "out of theme" to me... Can't you replace the knights with pirates or soldiers?
The beach is awesome! The level of details you added is fantastic! :thumbup:
Your fort and ship do look very nice as well!

Possible improvements:
1) Well...as said: the knights don't belong in a PTV contest. It was made clear by Mr. Phes himself.

2) The tower seems a bit unfinished. Maybe you could add a flag or cannonpost on top of it?

3) I can live with the wolf flag, but if I were you I would try to add some kind of sails as well.

4) More tiles? Especcialy on the castle walls they might look good. (If you have more that is).

Non-brick related advise:
1) A story might help to attract more attention.

2) There is a broken link between your pics, what does it link to?

3) A title!  You need a title for this MOC (next to the description I mean)! And if it is a WIP, please post that too, so we know it is ready or not.

Edited by zorro3999, 26 October 2008 - 05:23 PM.


#3 Tim Bit

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 06:39 PM

Thats one beauty of a moc.

I can't add anything to what Zorro said. Keep working on it and it'll be great.
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#4 Buttons

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 07:24 PM

:thumbup:
Now that you've found it, it's gone
Now that you feel it, you don't
You've gone off the rails

#5 RichardAM

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 08:25 PM

This looks great- you've done a great job of making the transition from SNOT to studs on top. The textured beach looks awesome.

Nice boat too, really clever.

#6 Guss

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 10:27 PM

that's a nice entry I think ^^ I looove this little ship, it's so cute! the only improvement I see is maybe put a little more minifigs with a little more action and cruelty to this moc, otherwise that's a really nice entry ^^ as RichardAM said, the snot/studs transition you made is great, And I also like your beach, I'm quite tired of perfectly smooth tiled beach!

so,that's a nice entry and  I wish you good luck for the contest  :thumbup:
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#7 Erdbeereis

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Posted 26 October 2008 - 10:42 PM

Your beach and SNOT water is excellent and rounded tower and arches look great as well.
I especially like the transition from water to sand and the different levels of height.

A few improvements you could make are:

1) I would like to hear the story behind the entry so I can figure out exactly what's happening. You could make a small introduction before the pictures.

2) Most of the minifigs are castle, which is a bit confusing as this is a pirates contest. If you don't have any pirate minifigs, you could just use some that have a grungy mean look to them.

3) While I really love the ship, it's way too small for the minifigs in proportion. You could perhaps extend the water and make a bit larger ship.

4) The few areas where you have tiles on the fort look great, so I think it would be much better to put grey tiles on the whole top of the fort.

5) Adding a title to your entry would probably help attract more intrest.

6) The rounded section of the fort seems a bit unfinished, as there's not really anything on it. I think a small cannon or something like that would be great.


You have a beautiful entry that with a little fixing up will be even better. I think changing a few of the things we've mentioned would benefit your entry very much, and give it a good chance in the contest. I wish you good luck!

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#8 General Armendariz

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Posted 27 October 2008 - 02:45 PM

Nicely done entry.

What could be improved:

1. Is that tower finished?  If not put a WIP on your entry

2. Why is that lady hanging?  Is she on the pirates or the soldiers side?

3. Replace the castle people with soldiers this is a pirates contest.

4. Put some blood! We want blood! :pir-skull:

5. Remove the fort it doesn't fit in.

Thats all I have Good job. :pir-sweet:

#9 pe668

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Posted 28 October 2008 - 03:44 AM

View PostGenaral armendariz, on Oct 28 2008, 12:45 AM, said:

5. Remove the fort it doesn't fit in.
Whats wrong with having a fort? I liked the fort. The two tone wall was good but should probably fan out into a larger foundation at the base. The beach was great despite getting low on pieces for the side (we have all been there). And finally the boat had a lot of character.
The fort and some characters do look a bit castle, so tweak those aspects and it's all good.
Overall a great build, I like it a lot.

#10 Legoking

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Posted 30 October 2008 - 02:03 AM

Opinion
I like your MOC theme of a giant wall and pirates trying to overrun it. I like the pirate ship you made. The little cannons and how you made the ship is really good. I like how you made the sand a stud higher than the water and that you put white where the water hits the sand. The wall you made is really good. It looks like it took you a long time to make and it paid off. I like how you put the pirates storming on the beach trying to defeat the knights? I like how you put a minifig in a barrel with a sail.

Possible Improvements

1) I don't really like the minifigs you put on the beach as pirates. I think you should replace them with normal pirate minifigs.

2) On the beach, it would look much nicer if you put tile on the sand and also on the grass too.

3) Instead of having knights, replace them with the Imperial Armada to fit the PTV contest better because knights don't fit in with pirates.

4) I would take that wolf flag off and put a pirate flag there in its place because it does not fit in with pirates.

5) If you were to add a piece of white paper for the sail, I think it would make the pirate ship look much nicer.

6) On the top of the castle, it would look nicer if you put some gray tiles on.

7) Add a battle scene with some blood because you don't have any in your MOC.

8) On the tower, you could add a cannon with a guard firing it at the pirates.

Non-Brick Related

1) It would be nice to have a story to explain what is happening.

Overall- This is a very good MOC and I like it a lot, but I would change the minifigs and do some minor improvements. After those improvements, your MOC will look even better. I wish you the best of luck!

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#11 Patriot720

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 03:51 PM

I love the beach; all the different levels and detail. You should replace the knights with pirates because they do not fit in.  Also, I am not quite sure wat the woman is doing.  Great entry, good luck!

#12 JimBee

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 06:39 PM

Good entry so far, Vadim.

What I like:
The beach is nicely done, good transition of colors there. The tower and wall are also good for the most part. I also like your little ship that you've built from scratch.

What could be improved:
On top of the tower, you have that little place where minifigs can stand, but it looks very unfinished. To fix this, I would suggest you take out the inner-bricks supporting the main walls, and then putting a round or hexagonal (two trapezoid plates put together) plate to eliminate most of the holes. Your ship also seems a bit unfinished, I would advise you to smooth out those rough edges and perhaps add paper sails (custom paper sails are allowed). The last bit of advice I have for you is to change the knights into pirates and Imperial guards, to fit the theme better. If you don't have any pirate set, use what you have to make the figs look like pirates and guards. :pir-wink:

Overall, you entry has a good start, but needs some work. Good luck on doing so!

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#13 Norro

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Posted 06 November 2008 - 01:20 PM

That ship is really eye catchingly gorgeous!

Thanks for sharing and God Bless,

Nathan
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#14 Vadim

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 01:26 PM

Now it`s finished. I will add history later.

#15 Erdbeereis

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 03:15 PM

The improvements make your entry look so much better Vadim! :pir-classic:

My favorite is the little straw roof on the top of the tower, it really finishes it off nicely.
It's also much improved in the minifig area, now that there are only pirate themed figs.

Very good work and good luck! :pir-classic:

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#16 Zorro

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 06:38 PM

Nice straw roof indeed!  And your improvements are great, everything looks so much better now.

One possible improvement: why not giving the soldier on the wall a normal head with one face instead of two??

#17 Vadim

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 06:50 PM

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 30 2008, 09:38 PM, said:

Nice straw roof indeed!  And your improvements are great, everything looks so much better now.

One possible improvement: why not giving the soldier on the wall a normal head with one face instead of two??

  I wanted to image horror on soildier`s face.  :pir-blush:

#18 SlyOwl

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Posted 03 December 2008 - 06:57 PM

Awesomeness! :pir-wub:

The ship is a beauty, and I like how the whole MOC looks bigger than it actually is :thumbup:

It's good to see an adaption of the straw roof; could you have used some sort of wedge plates to avoid the gaps?

To the barricades!
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#19 guessWho

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Posted 05 December 2008 - 01:16 AM

This is a nice entry, but perhaps not so polished.  I was confused as to why the yellow wrenches were on the top of the tower and maybe a bit more blood would at to the pillage aspect. Overall a great effort.  Well done. :pir_laugh2:

#20 Zepher

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Posted 06 December 2008 - 12:22 AM

I really like the ship.  It makes for wierd proportions, but I really like it like that!

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