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Sharkbait


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12 replies to this topic  – Started by RichardAM , Oct 13 2008 03:26 PM

#1 RichardAM

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 03:26 PM

Posted Image Vig. 25a
My entry for the PTV Contest, small division.

After being taken prisoner by the feared pirate Captain Redbrick, Mary Ellis was living a life of torture, humiliation and fear. Tied to the mast of his boat the Blue Neptune, Mary Ellis longed for rescue, and hoped, somehow that she could escape unharmed. After an intense battle with the Imperial Guard several weeks later, The Blue Neptune was left severely damaged, and with the egos and pride of the crew diminsed, they hastily made their escape. Mary Ellis on the other hand, was forgotten about entirely...

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With the two smaller categories out of the way i'm going to be concentrating now on the Large division. I'm hoping, that it's something The Blue Neptune will feature heavily in.  :pir-grin:

#2 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 03:36 PM

Very Creative Idea!
AlthoughI would like to see more mast extending from the crows nest - no mast was really topped with a crows nest without at least a flag pole and a flag!
But other then that, there is nothing to improve. Well done and good luck.  :pir-classic:

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#3 Zorro

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:17 PM

My opinion:

Very nice MOC, RichardAM. I like the subject you chose for this MOC and Mary Ellis has the right face.
The cruelty factor is present, and it looks finished, so  :thumbup: from me.

Possible improvements:

1) If it were my MOC, I would have placed the mast in an "oblique/slanting" position, I think that it would look a lot better like that.

2) The shark looks not as good as I hoped to, it's too much of a "triangle", maybe you could put in a real (lego) shark by using a diorama vision.

3) As said by that Walrus-hating Captain Zuloo, maybe you should try to complete the mast.

4) A bird on top to add some color :pir_laugh2: ?



I wish you much luck and building fun during this contest!

#4 RichardAM

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:21 PM

View Postzorro3999, on Oct 13 2008, 05:17 PM, said:

2) The shark looks not as good as I hoped to, it's too much of a "triangle", maybe you could put in a real (lego) shark by using a diorama vision.

I was going to use a conventional shark, but I would've had trouble fitting it on the base. I've already got overlap on my medium division entry so i don't want to make a bad habit of it.  :pir-blush:

View Postzorro3999, on Oct 13 2008, 05:17 PM, said:

4) A bird on top to add some color :pir_laugh2: ?

I know if I was a bird the last place i'd want to be is on top of a sinking ship.  :pir_laugh2:

Thanks, and thank you too Zuloo.  :pir-sweet:

#5 Guss

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:22 PM

simple and cool, I like how you did it ^^ I also think that a bird can be nice on the top of the mast^^
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#6 Cameron_Talley

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:48 PM

Nice little entry.  Love Mary's facial expression!  Perfect face for this...  I also like the SNOT water base, that's a nice touch.

I echo the sentiment that the mast could have more details.  Right now, it kind of looks like a pole, and it's difficult to tell that it is supposed to be a mast of a ship.

I also don't like the Shark Fin--that is, I like the concept, just not the execution.  It's the wrong kind of triangle.  You might try this piece instead:
http://peeron.com/inv/parts/43722
Or something similar, anyway.

In any case, great start!  Looking forward to seeing any improvements...

#7 Legoking

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 05:21 PM

Opinion
I like your idea of a girl stranded in the middle of the ocean. I also like how you made the mast of the ship, but on the other hand, mostly all the other parts of the ship are sunken. It must of been hard to postion Mary Ellis on that mast only using chain. I like how you made your base plate. Putting the blue bricks sideways, smart thinking. Mary Ellis's face fits the scene very well.

Possible Improvements

1) I see you tried to make a shark fin pop out of the water, but it is in the shape of a triangle and a sharks fin is not a triangle. I would just put a shark there instead of having a triangle.

2) You could try to finish the mast by adding a sail to it.

3) Maybe you could add a rainbow parrot or a crow sitting ontop of the mast.

Non-Brick Related

1) You could add a shot of your MOC from behind it or a birds eye view of it.

Overall- This is a good MOC, but if you do some improvements, this will be a wonderful MOC. I wish you the best of luck!

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#8 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 05:53 PM

Without realising it, when you took these images, you did yourself a big favour - by taking them in front of a plain background, I have been able to key in an ocean background. Enjoy!
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#9 JimBee

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:03 PM

Again, cool entry, Richard.

What I like:
The mast and chains are great, as is the scared maiden.

What could be improved:
Both the water and shark fin look very artificial in this instance. The SNOT blue mixed with white is a good idea for something like a waterfall, but not, unfortunately, for this. I would suggest you change those two things a bit.

Not much to say, I know, but this is a small entry, so not much to talk about. Good luck!

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#10 Commander Red Hat

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:03 PM

Nice work Richard, i can realy imagine the ship sinking slowly! :devil:

I do think the mast could benefit from a yard, some rope and perhaps a teared sail to make it a little more interesting...
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#11 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:12 PM

And the other one:
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#12 Adam

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:23 PM

I also have some gripes with this very nice entry:

1. As others have mentioned, the mast would look good tilting.

2. I also think that the shark fin should be larger, and that maybe some of the body should be revealed as well.

3. I think that the mast would look better thinner- 1x1 bricks instead of 2x2 ones.

4. Add a flag and parrot to the top, maybe with the addition of an old spyglass.


Other than those points, I think that this is a fairly good entry!

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#13 Erdbeereis

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Posted 14 October 2008 - 03:04 AM

I don't know how I missed seeing this great entry!
The SNOT water is excellent and very nice usage of the new maiden torso from the Castle advent calendar. The mast looks really good also.
Your photo is nice and clear which always gives a MOC extra credit from me, as it makes it so much more pleasing to the eye.

One or two small changes you could make are:

1) I agree with the others that making the mast slant would greatly enhance this MOC.

2) On the mast, a tattered sail, or even just some loosely tied rope would look amazing.

3) Instead of using the tile for the shark fin, I think it would be better to use a grey 1 x 2 or 3 slope with a cheese slope or tile on top.

However these are just minor points. This is an excellent entry RichardAM and I think you have a great chance in the contest! :pir-classic:

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