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The imperials respond to the pirate attack...


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17 replies to this topic  – Started by Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?! , Oct 10 2008 02:58 AM

#1 Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 02:58 AM

Posted Image Vig. 22d
After my rather not smooth entry to Lego Pirates, I offer a small entry for the contest.

Lt. Norrington was walking when he heard the siege bell. Port Ryanford was under attack! He called all the garrison (at the time, only peasant boy billy) for a check on the beach. when they escaped the foliage protecting the heart of the Port, they saw a horrifying sight. The Port was sieged by pirates! As a pirate lunged at him...

Splat!!! :pir-devil:
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A cannon ball ripped his head off and cut poor Billy's arm off too.
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the lunging pirate 3rd person Gears of War
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Epic Grimace
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:pir_yoda:
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#2 JimBee

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 03:15 AM

Nice small entry, Snake. :pir-classic:

What I like:
Lots of gore in this contest is never a bad thing, good job with that. The minifigs are also good, and the faces are perfect. :pir_laugh2: The tree is a nice addition, as well.

What could be improved:
The action displayed is kind of hard to see... Did the pirate slice Lt. Norrington's head off, and then it flew towards the other soldier? And how did the soldier's hand come off?

But overall, very gory MOC, and just what I like to see in this contest. :pir-classic:

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#3 Erdbeereis

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 03:25 AM

Nice entry Snake! I really like the idea, and it is nice and gruesome.

I can think of a few improvements to make:

1) I think it would look quite a bit better if you used some tan tiles for the sand, to give it a smoother appearance.

2) The tree could be a bit larger to add some more interest to the MOC.

3) You should add a bit of blood behind the man whose head is blown off.

4) The clear piece is a bit bulky in my opinion. Perhaps you could use a few clear round 1 x 1 plates, and make it a bit shorter.

I think you have done quite well with this entry!

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#4 Thomas B.

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 04:19 AM

Well, I'll be honest.  The clear piece is too big and too long. The brown under the man's head puzzles me. Where is the shooter at? The pirate should have a musket! More blood! A larger tree, perhaps the palm tree?

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#5 Scouty

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 04:23 AM

It seems like 95% of the entries to this competition feature head disembodiment of some kind :pir-tongue:
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#6 Guss

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 09:17 AM

3 days for retirement .. bad luck :/

nice entry ^^ cruel, gore , exactly what we need here!

maybe just one suggestion : add something on the ground, like a little rock^^

Edited by Guss, 10 October 2008 - 09:18 AM.

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#7 Zorro

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 07:24 PM

My opinion:

Cruelty factor: 11/10
Looks like an average MOC with a good theme and enough gore, but it seems far from ready (this is a WIP I presume??)
I like the faces you have used for your minifigs.

Possible improvements:

1) Use a black cannonball instead of a brown one.

2) Add a small red brick to Lt. Norrington's neck to add to reality, and perhaps some epaulettes to represent his rank.

3) Add more details to your background, like some plants, a (larger) tree, some stones or rocks...

4) Are you certain of the pole that you used to represent the cannonballs direction ? Maybe you can find another way to represent this... (I don't seem to be able to think of one right away but maybe you can)

Non-brick related advise:

1) Pics are too large: 820 pixels instead of the 800 allowed: please resize or it might be disqualified !

2) Watch your use of words and grammar, maybe there is a translation tool or (online) dictionnary you can use.
eg. :  He called all the garrison.
better would be: He called out the entire garrison.
I am however not that suited to give English language advise...(have enough problems with that myself :pir-look: ).

Keep improving your MOCs, and you will get there !

#8 Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 10:10 PM

Zorro, I see the weakness of the brown cannon ball. I will fix that.
I will try to add some smaller scenery and *possibly* dig some tan tiles up.



Oh this moc has a dedication: Lego12, this one's for you!

Edited by Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!, 10 October 2008 - 10:15 PM.

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#9 Zepher

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 10:20 PM

It's really funny!  It could use a bigger tree, and a rock.  Maybe tilt the sand a bit.  i don't think you should use tiled pieces for sand, sand looks better untiled in my thoughts.  Basically just repeats of what everyone else said!  It was to funny to pass up commenting on! :pir-tongue: The pole doesn't really bothor me either, I like it, it shows the path of the head if nothing else!

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#10 Captain Zuloo

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 06:26 AM

Well I'm kind of getting sick of these transparent rods, but that isn't your fault. If anything could be improved, it would be to remove the rod and find another way of sticking the head on to the arm, include the person who fired the shot to make the head go flying, and replace the bush thing with a tree. Otherwise, this is a great MOC, and I love the idea of the flying head cutting of a hand. Good luck! :pir-classic:

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#11 Adam

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:53 PM

I only have a few points of improvements that I would like to inform you of:

1. The scene itself requires a bit of landscaping, and would look nice with developed trees and foliage.

2. Adding a bit more blood would make the scene a little more realistic. :skull:

3. If you hadn't stated it in the description, I wouldn't know that the brown brick was a cannonball. Perhaps, if it was black, it would seem more like one.

4. Lt. Norrington's body could use a weapon and a more suprised position.

Edited by Adam, 11 October 2008 - 09:53 PM.

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#12 Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 07:12 PM

The next update features way more foliage, gore and a little rock :pir_laugh2:

Also a grey cannon ball (Couldn't find black :imperialguard_commander1: )
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#13 Legoking

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 10:13 PM

Opinion
This is a pretty good entry Snake. I like the idea of the blue coat getting his head blown off by a cannon ball. Also, I like how you made Billy's arm flying into the air while holding his gun. Billy's face perfectly fits the scene. His arm is getting blown off! :pir_bawling:. The blue coat that got his head blown off is grunting. Nice choose of heads! I liked how you related to gears of war in your MOC.

Possible Improvements

1) I can't really tell that is a beach. You could possibly smooth it down with some tan tiles.

2) The tree is not too tall. Maybe you could your tree taller by using a palm tree instead of the piece your using in your MOC.

3) The guy that just got his head blown off, you could add some blood behind him.

4) You could possibly add a crab crawling across the beach to make your MOC look more like a beach.

5) There is lack of detail. Try to add something creative.

Non-Brick Related Improvements

1) I saw that there were a few minor grammar mistakes. Before you submit your entry, just take some time to go over it.

2) You should have your pictures no bigger than 640x480.

Overall- There are a few minor errors, but I think if you fix them, this will be a great entry. I wish you the best of luck!

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#14 Zorro

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 11:03 PM

View PostLegoKing, on Oct 13 2008, 12:13 AM, said:

You should have your pictures no bigger than 640x480.

Actually, they can be larger...where did you get these numbers?
From Da rules:
You may present up to 6 pictures per entry. In accordance with Eurobricks guidelines the maximum picture size is 800x600 pixels . Entries with bigger pictures will not be accepted.

Edited by zorro3999, 12 October 2008 - 11:06 PM.


#15 Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!

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Posted 14 October 2008 - 04:04 AM

Finding the beaten path in the jungle, Lt. Norrington  and 'Billy' (Also known as generic lackey), responding to the seige bell of Port Ryanford,  jumped on to the beach. The Lt. was greeted with the looming sight of a pirate ship. he heard a thunderous boom...

Splat! :pir-devil:
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That's all folks!
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#16 Zorro

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Posted 14 October 2008 - 04:20 AM

The tree looks nice, but it seems the cannonball comes out of the ground or something.
Most cannon don't shoot that "oblique" (sorry, don't know another word for it).

#17 Volt

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Posted 08 June 2011 - 08:56 PM

You know, I have to agree with zorro, Lt.s generally have red or sometimes gold eppaulettes.[attachment=7661:napoleon on a motorcycle.jpg]
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#18 Big Cam

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Posted 09 June 2011 - 12:02 AM

View PostVolt, on 08 June 2011 - 08:56 PM, said:

You know, I have to agree with zorro, Lt.s generally have red or sometimes gold eppaulettes.Attachment napoleon on a motorcycle.jpg
Again Volt, please do not bump an almost 3 year old topic without bringing anything of value to the conversation, and with MOC's they often are not even built anymore.




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