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my PTV entry


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22 replies to this topic  – Started by General Armendariz , Oct 09 2008 05:04 AM

#1 General Armendariz

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 05:04 AM

Posted Image Vig. 23a
MY CONTEST ENTRY FOR PILLAGE THE VILLAGE.
Here's the plot: in port Marina a group of pirates heard that there's treasure that the British just found.
The British were caught off guard with the attack.  The pirates attacked on land and also are firing cannon balls
from their nearby vessel.  In this scene it is evident that the pirates are overcoming the British.  
EDIT: THE pictures are updated now they have better faces
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That shark looks like he's on the British side

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Sorry for the red and green bricks in the base.  I kind of wasn't paying attention of what pieces I was using for the base.
But one can imagine that the red brick is a later addition to a pier that is not in the best condition. Or the people who were
building the port either were lazy or short on gold :grin:.  And hey, what if the green is just seaweed

Hope you like my entry, comments and suggestions appreciated.  :pir_laugh2:

Edited by SlyOwl, 05 November 2009 - 08:13 PM.


#2 cartoondude

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 07:26 AM

Thats so AWESOME!! :pir-sweet: I love the cannon ball hitting the wall  :pir-classic: Nice work. :jollyroger:
He he he....

#3 Guss

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 08:01 AM

the cannonball hitting the wall is really nice, I love the man eaten by the shark too ^^ really nice entry  :thumbup:
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#4 Olog

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 08:26 AM

Very nice effect with the crumbling wall! The violence is great too. I would add/change just two minor things: replace the green and red pieces that are fillers inside the constructions ( red 2 x 4 brick, and green 1 x 2 plate) , those just distract the viewer from the action. And just a a suggestion, you could add an arch over where the imperial soldier is coming from.

#5 Lt. Col. Thok

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 12:01 PM

That is violent, gory and crude.  Perfect for this contest! :sweet:

Very nicely done, the exploding wall and the gushing blood are excellent effects. :thumbup:
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#6 oDDerFisken

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 03:33 PM

Oh my.. it's soooo nice. The cannonball smashing into the wall is so brilliant. Very inventitative. There's also lots of blood, half  and flying bodies.
A can't really find things to critisize. It's all in all a very good MOC. Good luck with the contest.

#7 Lego12

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 04:09 PM

It is a very nice entry and it has TONS of gruesome stuff in it! I really like everything about the entry, although I see a couple of problems....

Minifigs: You have plenty of minifigs and I see lots of stuff going on...maybe too much stuff....well anyways, one of the minifigures doesn't look cruel enough to be a Pirate. Maybe add a different head? The Imperials are cool, but I see one getting blown into pieces and he is just smiling....the Pirate getting blown up by the cannonball is wearing green pants. I think that you should change the pants to black.

Details: The Pirate getting eaten by the shark is great! I love all of the guts coming out of his stomach! The dead Pirate who is on the floor, bleeding into the ocean is a nice touch! The exploding cannonball, including the blown-up minifigs, is very original and I think that it was a great idea!

Improvements: Well everything is fine, except for some of the pieces you decided to use. For example on the third picture you used a red brick, when you should have used a gray. The same thing happened on the second picture. You used a green instead of a gray.

Overall: This entry is a good one and it has a lot of original and creative stuff in it! If you would change some of the faces on the minifigs and change some of the bricks you used to better colors, this could turn out to be a really good entry! I wish you luck!

Lego12

Edited by lego12, 09 October 2008 - 04:11 PM.

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#8 Zorro

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 04:11 PM

My opinion:
Cruelty factor: 8,5/10
Details: 8/10 (don't add much more or it might get too crowded and cluttered !)
A very nice MOC, I especcialy like the blood use


Possible improvements:

1) You use to many common/standard faces, replace some with screaming or cruel looking ones ! Make it even more cruel...

2) The water looks to unrealistic, add some light blue to represent the shores, and perhaps you could try tiling the water.

3) Make it look more realistic by altering the way your minifigs "move", eg. one imperial guard just carries his musket like he is taking a walk in the park !

Minor / non-brick related improvements:

1) Leave some space between your pics. You could use that space to add some additional information about what is going on in that pic.
Also see you post all off your pics in the same "direction", your fith picture is standing on his head (sorry if this is a bad expression, I don't know the exact English term)

Edited by zorro3999, 10 October 2008 - 02:02 PM.


#9 Erdbeereis

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 04:39 PM

Nice entry! You have included lots of detail, and plenty of gore. :pir-devil:

The cannonball hitting the wall is fantastic and the pirate being eaten by the shark is nice and gruesome.

Here are a few improvements you could make:

1) On the underside, you have 4 or 5 different colors being used. You should perhaps try to make it just one color, like gray, to give it a smoother look.

2) Personally, I think it looks a bit cramped. Maybe take out 1 or 2 minifigs to make it a bit easier to see all of the nice details.

3) Like some others have said, add some more angry/scared heads if you have them.

4) I would suggest that you put blue tiles on the water to give a bit smoother appearance.

Very good work though!

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#10 Cameron_Talley

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 04:43 PM

I think this may be the best entry that I've seen so far.  Wonderfully violent scene packed with details, but not too cluttered.

The cannonball and crumbling wall is what makes this entry for me.  It gives the viewer a real sense of violence and action.  The blood in this scene is very well done, particularly the red tiles from the guy on the right.  

Three things which you can improve:  The standing soldier on the left of the wall (on the stairs) seems completely unaffected by the cannonball hitting the wall next to him.  I think you should re-pose him to make him look as if he is flying away (or at least cowering in fear).  Perhaps a different head would fit the mood better, too.

Secondly, the Red brick in the wall on the left hand side of the structure is rather jarring and looks completely out of place.  Replace it with a grey/bley or dark grey one so as to make the scene more cohesive.

Finally, perhaps my biggest disappointment with the MOC is the way the shark appears to simply be floating in mid-air.  Perhaps you can modify the water-base and sink the tail end of the shark into the water, so it would appear to be charging out of the water to chomp on its victim (a la JAWS).

Overall, I think this is a great MOC that can be make even better with just a few slight modifications

#11 Captain Blackmoor

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Posted 09 October 2008 - 06:37 PM

There is absolutely NO love and peace in here, it's cruel, mean, violent and awesome! This MOC suits perfect in the contest. I like the cannonball hitting the wall and the blood effects. :pir-skull:

Again, a very nice looking MOC and good luck on the contest!

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#12 Thomas B.

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 01:00 AM

Alright, be ready for a long one! The MOC is too crowded. The shark and eaten pirate is very interesting and gruesome. If you are taking pictures when raising an MOC from a baseplate, make sure the red bricks are hidden from view. ;) The problem with the wall is that hole in the left corner. The faces of the dead pirates need to be changed, as they are smilies! On the broken part of the wall, some of the wall pieces need to be on the dock area. Though I do like the cannonball in it. That pirate in the air needs to be closer to the wall. That's the only suggestions I can think of currently.

MOC On!  :jollyroger:

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#13 General Armendariz

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 03:12 AM

Dont worry im modifying it right now thanks for the suggestions and all that Im giving them more piratie faces :pir-cry_sad:

#14 JimBee

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 03:25 AM

Great entry, General! :pir-sweet:

What I like:
First of all, the blood in the water is displayed magnificently, especially where the shark is biting into the pirate. The flower piece used to represent a gun shot wound is a great idea. I also really like how you've positioned the shot soldier and the soldier and pirate being flung into the air by the cannon fire.

What could be improved:
The cannon ball idea is good, but I would suggest to scatter the the flying rubble a little more, to give that hectic look. Also, maybe a little more violence with the fight(s) on the main level, such as stabbing (with blood, of course), would be a good idea.

Other than those little nitpicks, very good entry material, and good luck! :thumbup:

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#15 Cameron_Talley

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 03:53 PM

I like the modifications you made...still not too happy about the shark but it looks better than simply floating in midair!  The Guy standing on the left is perfect now; makes the whole thing all the more chaotic...I still don't like that red brick on the left...but maybe you just didn't want to take the whole thing apart to fix one errant color.  :)  

Anyway, great improvements!

#16 Zorro

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 09:43 PM

My updated opinion/advise:

I like what you did to the faces, if you could now do something to improve the "luitenant's"(the one being stabbed by a cutlass) movements (and possibly change the side bricks) it would be a lot better already.
Also post some info beneath (or above) each pic.

#17 Erdbeereis

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Posted 10 October 2008 - 09:49 PM

That's looking much better!

The main thing I would adjust if I were you, would be to make the bricks underneath the dock a single color, such as grey.
Right now the red sticks out a bit too much.

Nice improvement!

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#18 Thomas B.

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 04:17 AM

The piratey faces make the MOC much better, and thanks, but some of the corrections I suggested weren't changed.

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#19 Adam

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 09:58 PM

I've only a few gripes with this wonderful MOC:

1. The colors in the scene are a little too inconsistent- for instance, there is a green plate under the blue ones. Also, there is a red brick under the city itself which doesn't seem to be blood...

2. The man being killed by the shark has blood that is both red and trans red. I suggest going with what you already have, red.

3. As Strawberry has mentioned, the creation IS crowded.

4. There are points under the village which are gaps, I suggest you fill these in.

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#20 Tim Bit

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 10:33 PM

Thats a great/gory moc I myself love it. my olny sugestion is that you make the blood one color like adam said. otherwise its great.
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#21 CPT. Jr

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Posted 11 October 2008 - 11:58 PM

This is by far one of the most amazing moc's that i have ever seen. The cannonball, and wal fragmenting is excellent. The blood effects on the shark attack, and on the other guy are amazing. This piece truly shows the pirate cruelty, i hope you win something, because this shure is excellent work. Also I like the coices of faces, they seem to fit well.

Edited by CPT. Jr, 11 October 2008 - 11:59 PM.

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#22 Legoking

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 02:59 AM

Opinion
Nice MOC. I like the cannonball effect. This makes your MOC twice as much better. The British vs. the pirates is smart thinking. Nice use of blood, especially the pirate's head pouring blood into the water (that's pretty cool). I like the pirate in mid-air with the cannonball smashing through the wall. Another great thing is the British soldier falling in mid-air down the steps. You used a good amount of blood in your MOC. Another thing that I like about your MOC is the shark eating the pirate.

Possible Improvements

1) You could have a longer story plot.

2) You could get the dust off of your blue base plates. Maybe you could just run some water over it.

3) When I am looking at this MOC, I see the base plate is made up of different colors: dark gray, light gray and a little bit of green. Try to have your base plate one color intead of multiple colors.

4) On the dock there is a British soldier stabbing a pirate. Maybe you could have added some blood under him.

Overall- This is a great entry. If you do some minor improvements this could be a great MOC. I wish you the best of luck!

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Edited by LegoKing, 12 October 2008 - 03:08 AM.

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#23 General Armendariz

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Posted 06 December 2008 - 10:26 PM

Someone add this title on my thread: Plundering Port Marina! Please update my thread title!

Edited by Genaral armendariz, 06 December 2008 - 10:28 PM.





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