13 replies to this topic

[fenrir]

Vig. 30a

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:34 PM.

[Zorro]

My opinion:
Looks great, Fenrir! You get a   from me. There are more burried treasures MOCs into this contest, but then every "real" pirate had one for his own I guess.

Possible improvements:
1) You used standard faces. I think your minifigs would look far better with real expressions on their faces. Do you have any other (non-standard) faces?

2) I would have made both pirates walk in front of the Captain, so you can see their faces and expressions. The captain would be stupid to shoot them right above his treasure anyway, since that would leave quite a landmark (or a lot of work removing them).

3) I think it could use some more color, details...well I don't know how to explain but I give you some suggestions: add some gems to the treasure if you have them and perhaps a treasure map lying somewhere on the ground, looking like it has just been written down. Stuff like that I mean...

Non-brick related advise:
1) Unleash his furry ??? His furry cat?   Fury would be better, and although the introduction looks great, cutting up words like that makes it look a bit unprofessional (IMHO).

[fenrir]

zorro3999, on Oct 26 2008, 10:33 PM, said:

My opinion:
Looks great, Fenrir! You get a   from me. There are more burried treasures MOCs into this contest, but then every "real" pirate had one for his own I guess.

Possible improvements:
1) You used standard faces. I think your minifigs would look far better with real expressions on their faces. Do you have any other (non-standard) faces?

2) I would have made both pirates walk in front of the Captain, so you can see their faces and expressions. The captain would be stupid to shoot them right above his treasure anyway, since that would leave quite a landmark (or a lot of work removing them).

3) I think it could use some more color, details...well I don't know how to explain but I give you some suggestions: add some gems to the treasure if you have them and perhaps a treasure map lying somewhere on the ground, looking like it has just been written down. Stuff like that I mean...

Non-brick related advise:
1) Unleash his furry ??? His furry cat?   Fury would be better, and although the introduction looks great, cutting up words like that makes it look a bit unprofessional (IMHO).

Thank you for the fast reply,
and the non-brick related advise,  I changed the ´´furry cat´´...

[Guss]

I like how you did the introduction, I remember reading something about real pirates that killed the guy who were with him while burying the treasure to makes it a secret, so it seems that's historically accurate , it shows the pirate's cruelty , it's about pillaging, it's well introduced and it's well done... well.. I think that that's a really nice entry, and the only way I see to improve it is what Zorro already said, change the pirates faces, but If you don't have the pieces, It'll be hard^^

anyway, great job there! 10/10  

and I wish you good luck for the contest!

[Erdbeereis]

I like it!
Good idea and execution Fenrir! The little buried section looks great and I like the mounding on the sand to give a buried effect.

One or two things you could improve on are:

1) The sand lacks excitement. Putting something like a crab or seaweed would add a lot.

2) As Zorro said, the pirates' faces look a bit "standard". Changing the to something more menacing would be great.

3) Adding some gems by the chests would create a little variation between the treasure. Those pirates are very picky about their treasure!

Even with these minor things, your entry is very good and I wish you good luck in the contest!

[Legoking]

Opinion
I like your theme very much. Mutiny, I have not seen a pirate captain betray his loyal crew yet over treasure. The background you have made fits your MOC very well. The cave where the treasure is buried is made very well. I like how you opened it half way so you can see what is inside it.

Non-Brick Related

1) The pirates that are getting betrayed by their captain, you should change their face expression to a more surprised and scared, rather than a normal pirate face.

2) You can tile the sand to make you MOC look nicer.

3) Put a skeleton next to the treasure to make your MOC look nicer. Next to the skeleton, put some dried up blood under him.

4) Add a snake or small animal on the sand.

5) In you’re forth picture; you can see one of the pirate’s arms is badly cracked. I would exchange that pirate with another one.

Non-Brick Related

1) In some of your other pictures, you could add that background you have in the first one.

Overall- I can see you enjoy making the original, pirate’s mutiny and burring treasure. Your story is really well written. Some minor improvements to do, but other than that, it is fine. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

My PTV Entry- Medium

[General Armendariz]

Nice entry lots of people do the buried treasure
thing and it does not workout, but yours does.

What I like:

1. Great story line that paper makes it look cool.

2. Good buried treasure look

What could be improved:

1. Put some scared faces.  There's to much standard faces.  
Put the captains face with a cruel head and the two pirates faces with scared and confused face.

2. give the captain a parrot or put a animal on the ground.

3. I counted the studs and its 6 by 9 studs it over laps by one stud.  Either fix it or enter the medium division.

[fenrir]

Genaral armendariz, on Oct 27 2008, 03:26 AM, said:

Nice entry lots of people do the buried treasure
thing and it does not workout, but yours does.

What I like:

1. Great story line that paper makes it look cool.

2. Good buried treasure look

What could be improved:

1. Put some scared faces.  There's to much standard faces.  
Put the captains face with a cruel head and the two pirates faces with scared and confused face.

2. give the captain a parrot or put a animal on the ground.

3. I counted the studs and its 6 by 9 studs it over laps by one stud.  Either fix it or enter the medium division.

The base is 6x8

reasonable amount of overlap is allowed in the Medium and Small divisions, but nothing extensive.

I don't know if it's extensive, because the max size is 8x7 ( the top part)
The base is a 6x8 brick. There is a lot of overlap, but it's not touching the ground.
I think someone needs to judge this.
I'll send a pictures link:

http://www.brickshel...y.cgi?i=3503461

Edited by fenrir, 27 October 2008 - 11:32 AM.

[Razzer]

fenrir, on Oct 26 2008, 09:47 PM, said:

Thank you for the fast reply,
and the non-brick related advise,  I changed the ´´furry cat´´...

Great entry, with humour and cruelty, but to the best of my knowledge, Burry, and Burried should be spelt with one r too (bury, buried) at least here in England.. I wouldn't know if it was an American spelling that you've used however.

Apart from that my only comment is that I would put something on the sand. It's just a little too tan if you know what I mean. Try adding some more colour by putting a rock, animal or plant.

Good Luck with PTV!

[General Armendariz]

fenrir, on Oct 27 2008, 04:21 AM, said:

The base is 6x8

reasonable amount of overlap is allowed in the Medium and Small divisions, but nothing extensive.

I don't know if it's extensive, because the max size is 8x7 ( the top part)
The base is a 6x8 brick. There is a lot of overlap, but it's not touching the ground.
I think someone needs to judge this.
I'll send a pictures link:

http://www.brickshel...y.cgi?i=3503461

Okay I guess I counted wrong! Sorry

[Erdbeereis]

Razzer, on Oct 27 2008, 07:49 AM, said:

Great entry, with humour and cruelty, but to the best of my knowledge, Burry, and Burried should be spelt with one r too (bury, buried) at least here in England.. I wouldn't know if it was an American spelling that you've used however.

Apart from that my only comment is that I would put something on the sand. It's just a little too tan if you know what I mean. Try adding some more colour by putting a rock, animal or plant.

Good Luck with PTV!

In America it's also with just one r. So you may want to fix that as well Fenrir.

[JimButcher]

Oh, very cruel indeed, fenrir!

What I like:
Like I said, very cruel. I like how you've left part of the ground open to see the treasure, and the coins spilling out gives a certain luster to your MOC.

What could be improved:
I wouldn't think that these pirates would be smiling! To fix this, I suggest you give Captain Black a cruel face, such as Goldtooth's (Agents), and give the other pirates scared faces. Also, you could maybe add some texture to the sand using different small plates and such to give it detail.

If you change those few things that I've mentioned, I'm sure you will have an overall better entry. Good luck on the contest!

[NewRight]

Great small division entry!
The classic look is what I really love about it.

[oDDerFisken]

The classic piratestory. Nice that someone made it for the contest.
Very simpel but I like it that way. And in this category there's not space for the complicated stuff.

The treasure looks nice. I'd like the gold. Good idea to make sure that the captain is the only one who knows the whereabouts.

I like that one of them has his hands over his head. "surrender you scallywag"

The background of the moc makes it look really nice!

Possible improvements
Give the captain some epaulettes. He's already got the hat

The two poor workers are pretty standard. I think it would be nice if you had some custom made pirates.

One of the pirates are smiling. Thats not the expression for a situation like that. Have you got any scared-looking faces? If so replace it with the one smiling.


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It's a nice little entry. I like it a lot
Good luck.. arrrhhhhh