18 replies to this topic

[Zepher]

Orginal

(12x12 with minimum over hang, it should be okay since the contest says 16x16 (I thought it was 12x12, and check once I was fisnihed   ))


Old treasures are strung below the area, with weapons from fallen friends and enemies surronding the island as a fence.


Oversized later for when he wants to go swimming!


Water cascade from his... excess water.


Fishing for food.


His old crow's nest has become an artist's corner!


Thanks for looking!

-Zepher

Edited by SlyOwl, 08 December 2009 - 10:17 PM.

[Bricknave]

I think the MOC and the background story of it is fabulous, and I like some of its detailed features such as the use of skeleton legs to hold up the safety bar (very clever) and the stream of water dripping down from the top of Pearch Rock.    

However, certain objects included in this MOC do not match the MOC's theme very well.  The Sir Danju purple-with-yellow shield should be removed because it just does not look good there (although it would look good in a pirate captain's quarters or in a hallway of a Navy fort), and the propeller on top should be replaced with something else as the airplane wasn't invented at the time there were pirates.

Also, I think you should add some more bricks at the very center of the rock itself; it seems as though the top of the rock is extremely unstable and could tumble over at any second.

Edited by Bricknave, 12 October 2009 - 12:31 AM.

[Zepher]

Bricknave, on Oct 12 2009, 01:26 AM, said:

I think the MOC and the background story of it is fabulous, and I like some of its detailed features such as the use of skeleton legs to hold up the safety bar (very clever) and the stream of water dripping down from the top of Pearch Rock.    

However, certain objects included in this MOC do not match the MOC's theme very well.  The Sir Danju purple-with-yellow shield should be removed because it just does not look good there (although it would look good in a pirate captain's quarters or in a hallway of a Navy fort), and the propeller on top should be replaced with something else as the airplane wasn't invented at the time there were pirates.

Also, I think you should add some more bricks at the very center of the rock itself; it seems as though the top of the rock is extremely unstable and could tumble over at any second.

First off, thank you for the comment.

I will be removing the shield and the strange blue thing on the look-out nest, thanks for the suggestion.  However, I rather like the propeller, and since we're allowed to be on the edge of the Steam-punk age I'll leave it, unless others think it's out of place.

Also, the unstable rock structure is supposed to look... unstable.  You see it all the time in the desert, erosion only takes place on the bottom level, but get lesser on the top becuase the wind could not bring the eroder (is that a word) there.  I love the look of those things, and tried to replicate it in my MOC!

Thanks again!

[Tereglith]

I like this entry, you've inspired me to do something similar. A few suggestions, though. Firstly, you could give it a blue base - islands always look better with water around them, and it would mean that you could take advantage of the full medium size of the entry. Another, smaller rock, connected to this one with a rope bridge would be very cool, and I think that it would add to the MOC greatly. As for the propeller...   I wouldn't necessarily mind the anachronism of it (heck, both my entries for this are full of anachronisms) if I could see what it was actually for. As it is, it's just a random propeller that's going to ignore users that are more temporally intolerant than I.

[Zepher]

Tereglith, on Oct 12 2009, 02:26 AM, said:

I like this entry, you've inspired me to do something similar. A few suggestions, though. Firstly, you could give it a blue base - islands always look better with water around them, and it would mean that you could take advantage of the full medium size of the entry. Another, smaller rock, connected to this one with a rope bridge would be very cool, and I think that it would add to the MOC greatly. As for the propeller...   I wouldn't necessarily mind the anachronism of it (heck, both my entries for this are full of anachronisms) if I could see what it was actually for. As it is, it's just a random propeller that's going to ignore users that are more temporally intolerant than I.

Thanks, I think I will do water depending on howmany blue pieces I end up having!  And I'll get rid of the propeller!

Edited by Zepher, 12 October 2009 - 08:49 PM.

[Bricknave]

Zepher, on Oct 11 2009, 05:33 PM, said:

First off, thank you for the comment.

I will be removing the shield and the strange blue thing on the look-out nest, thanks for the suggestion.  However, I rather like the propeller, and since we're allowed to be on the edge of the Steam-punk age I'll leave it, unless others think it's out of place.

Also, the unstable rock structure is supposed to look... unstable.  You see it all the time in the desert, erosion only takes place on the bottom level, but get lesser on the top becuase the wind could not bring the eroder (is that a word) there.  I love the look of those things, and tried to replicate it in my MOC!

Thanks again!

You're very welcome!  

[Derfel Cadarn]

What a very interesting entry! Lots going on and very eye catching with a great idea. All i would suggest is maybe to put it on sum blue plates, i know you have only got 8x8 to build on, but it mite give it a more 'island' feel. Great entry, good luck with the contest!

[MetroiD]

While I'm not quite sure what you meant by that "eroder" concept and it does look weird to me, I must admit that somehow this impossible-looking structure makes the island stand out a bit. Combining that with a steampunk look (thanks to the propeller, mostly) gives this entry a totally different twist compared to the other ones. And originality is a thing that to me as a voter always comes first.

So, in that sense, as someone who could vote for this one on the above grounds, I'd suggest adding some more elements in order to expand this entry and its originality. You've clearly gone for a steampunkish look, which combined with the Pirates theme is a winner to me. You should however try and work some more elaborate details into the MOC as you find fitting. If I were you, I'd lose some of the more useless stuff that looks a bit piled on top of that island and replace it with creations which the pirate has made himself - naturally, "creations" in the steampunk sense of the word. Turning that propeller into a windmill for example would be a good start, because I too feel that you should definitely keep it.

Combining such unique elements one would never expect to see associated with Pirates with your impossible/zany structure of the island will potentially give this one an extremely distinct vibe. Regarding the structure itself - for some reason, one of my first associations was the floating island from Gorillaz' "Feel Good" single. I'd suggest checking that out if you haven't - just to draw some inspiration.

Can't wait to see your update(s)!!

[badboytje88]

This is very different from everything I've seen before in this contest! I like it! You were definately thinking outside the box. I love the water flowing of the rock. The yellow things you can put underneath a minifigs legs look slightly out of place, but I like them!

There are some things I'd change:
- As mentioned before the fan and the chield look definately out of place.
- I don't like the striped house on the rock. I think it would look better either in tan or in brown, not both.

That's all

~Badboy

[Millacol88]

I like this, it works very well as a makeshift home thrown together in a hurry, which fits quite nicely with the backstory you provided. I'm not going to complain that it looks too random with all that stuff piled on there, because its clear that its meant to be. However, I do think it could stand to be a bit more realistic. Like others have said, some water and perhaps some ripple effects with clear plates would go nicely at the bottom. It's a shame you don't have a lot of blue, a 12 x 12 base with some other rock formations, waves and other details would do wonders for this MOC. I also agree that the rock formation looks quite unrealistic. I know I wouldn't want to make my ramshackle, probably pretty weak house on such a thin rock, with rough seas and possibly sharks below!   Also, a ladder going up from the main room up to the crow's nest would look pretty good, if you can fit it in.

But the biggest thing that I'm not crazy about is the mixing of Pirates, Steampunk, and even a little Castle. Taking away that purple shield, along with those Medieval-looking axes, along with that Steampunk-like wooden propeller up top, would make your MOC have a clearer definition, and really help with the atmosphere of the scene. To me, the mentality should be: "I'm stranded, I'll use whatever I could take off the ship to survive." Right now, it seems like "I'm stranded, oh look, a Knight's shield and some battle axes, along with a propeller that are all inexplicably here."

I'm not trying to be too hard on you, I really like this MOC, its just that I feel you added a few things that don't really make sense that take you out of the experience you were trying to convey. I like all the little quirky details you've got, especially the water tap and the redcoat hat on a pike.  

[Tereglith]

Just so you know, I'm totally with you on the erosion concept. Something like this, but at sea, right?

http://upload.wikime...ar_de_Uyuni.jpg

(I'd deeplink, but the picture is HUGE)

[Zepher]

Tereglith, on Oct 13 2009, 09:44 PM, said:

Just so you know, I'm totally with you on the erosion concept. Something like this, but at sea, right?

http://upload.wikime...ar_de_Uyuni.jpg

(I'd deeplink, but the picture is HUGE)

Exactly.

Thank you all for your suggestion, I'm starting to rebuild it, so keep those suggestions coming!

[martinsuper]

Cool MOC! I think that we need to make a new MOC category called "castaways" as this has become a very popular theme!

I really like the MOC but I am somewhat unsure if the bottom should be underwater of if the rock is this high from the water? The only reason I ask is because the ladder does not go down all the way and there is no "type of water" at the bottom.

I enjoy the idea of a pirate who is trying to make a go of it under really difficult circumstances. The scene look believeable and is clearly a castaway and not something else.

A cool creation!

-martinsuper

[Captain Blackmoor]

The high Pearch Rock is even visible on the frontpage tomorrow!

[Big Cam]

Very abstracrt, but functional too, reminds me of Robinson Caruso in a way, like a stranded desert island outpost.

Great job.

[Zepher]

Updated.  Here is V2, using some of the advice from you guys and CABG!  I hope you like the changes!  It's just as hectic, but I think it looks good that way.  I'm posting the new pictures here and in the orginal post!  Please comment again if you have anything to add, even if it's only that the revisions make it better or worse!

[MetroiD]

Looks... even more chaotic! But seeing as this is probably going to be your final revision of this entry, with the contest ending in a day, I guess it would be more useful to try and remove some details instead of adding anything. I admit, I did suggest adding more elements, but I also noted that you should lose the ones that are useless... The way this one is arranged right now, I can hardly make out any of the new additions or understand what they're about - especially since you haven't provided any backstory to this. Perhaps it would be a good idea to write some sort of explanation for all of these weird contraptions

As to a comparison between V1 and V2, I obviously think that V2 has a bit too much going on for its own good. It is a move in the right direction, but it doesn't really arrive where I though you wanted it to be - in other words, instead of finding a use for all of the details in this MOC, you've still let quite a few of them just "feature" in there, without having an actual purpose.

All said, I still think V2 > V1. And the work you've done on some details is very nice, so kudos for that. Here is how I feel about some of the details in particular:

+ You've kept the propeller and turned it into a windmill-like structure. Perfect, but what then? It just sits on top here and doesn't really do anything...
+ You've added white tiles to outline the area around the rocks - but the way you've placed those now makes the rocks look much too square.
+ I did understand your erosion concept quite well from the off, I just didn't feel that the way you'd represented it worked well. Now, however, it's much more believable - while being just as steampunkish - nice modifications to those rocks.
+ I like it that you've kept the "observation spot" on top and made it a bit more useful, good work.
+ The addition of an extra ladder leading from the shelter to the "observation spot" is also a good idea.

- I still can't quite understand what that water pouring down from the rock is - or where it comes from. Rain water is good for drinking you know, so that should be stored instead of poured down.
- The two pieces of cloth are supposed to provide shelter, I guess... but they just look out of place. If you'd tied their loose end to something, perhaps they might look like a roof of sorts...
- Those yellow flippers-on-poles - what's their part? The redcoat hat is perfect, but I don't see any use for those flippers.
- You've kept the rope, but it's still pretty dysfunctional. Who would hang their treasure (or even the empty treasure chest) out like that? You could have hung fish down from the rope instead, as if they were drying...

Once again - that's what I like and dislike about this MOC. That said, the details I've mentioned as "useless" might appeal to other viewers, so I guess you should have a final look at this MOC yourself and decide what you like best about it and what you think you could get rid of -- that is, if you're planning on revising it again. Even if you don't edit it in any way, I'd strongly suggest adding a story, even if it's just a couple of lines - that should really help! In any case, this is a very original entry and I wish you luck in the contest with it :)

[Zepher]

Thanks for the reply The Otters.  Obviously I don't really have time to fix it, but all the same, I can say thank you, and that your advice is still sound.  I'll reply to a few of your concerns.  My responses are in bold!

TheOtters, on Nov 29 2009, 03:25 PM, said:

+ You've kept the propeller and turned it into a windmill-like structure. Perfect, but what then? It just sits on top here and doesn't really do anything...
Generates power is what it does.  You just can't see what's going on inside the hut (and I didn't build what's going on inside the hut...).  I understand your concern, but I wanted something looming, and this is more a work of art that a owrk of what's pratical  

- I still can't quite understand what that water pouring down from the rock is - or where it comes from. Rain water is good for drinking you know, so that should be stored instead of poured down.
Excess water.  From his potty.  
- Those yellow flippers-on-poles - what's their part? The redcoat hat is perfect, but I don't see any use for those flippers.
Poorly constructed fishing nets.
- You've kept the rope, but it's still pretty dysfunctional. Who would hang their treasure (or even the empty treasure chest) out like that? You could have hung fish down from the rope instead, as if they were drying...
I don't have any more fish, and that was actually the orginal idea.  However, since he's a pirate, he doesn't like the idea of giving up his treaure, but at the same time it wouldn't be useful to leave it on his limited space, so he hung it instead.

Once again - that's what I like and dislike about this MOC. That said, the details I've mentioned as "useless" might appeal to other viewers, so I guess you should have a final look at this MOC yourself and decide what you like best about it and what you think you could get rid of -- that is, if you're planning on revising it again. Even if you don't edit it in any way, I'd strongly suggest adding a story, even if it's just a couple of lines - that should really help! In any case, this is a very original entry and I wish you luck in the contest with it :)

Zepher, on Oct 11 2009, 11:48 PM, said:

When Capt. Stormbeard orginally crased on Pearch Rock without his crew (there was a mutiny, of course) he thought that it was the end of his days.  Hoever, due to hard work and creative piratical skills, Stormbeard quickly built Perach rock into a wonderful one man island, and has quit being a pirate all together... unless he can get off the rock.  He stills has many reminders of his old life as a pirate, but also lives his new life with vigor and happiness!

That's the story!

[MetroiD]

OK man, I get it, thanks for the clarifications... When I said "useful", depicting what the things actually do was precisely what I meant - obviously, you know what they're there for, but representing it in a way that the viewer could also understand is what I was aiming at. Your responses to my previous post in bold could work well as explanations along the pics, so that people can read what the things on this island are there for, and these would be the precise additions to the "back-story" which I felt were necessary.