17 replies to this topic

[Thrash]

Vig. 26a
Here's my first entry for the PTV contest small division.  It's a scene with Pirates launching a surprise attack on an Imperial fort one morning.

Overview:



Before the guard on the roof knew what was going on, a pirate was hurtling towards him off of a ship.  He quickly tried to blow his horn to alert everyone one...



But he was too late.  A cannon ball came sailing through the side of the fort...



And through the soldier working the cannon...



Meanwhile, on the bottom floor, pirates had attacked from land as well and reached the Governor's daughter.  Luckily, she had put a barrel and treasure chest in front of the door to block them from getting her...



But one had already snuck in to her room and was hiding on the ceiling!




Does the Governor's daughter survive the attack?!  Guess you'll have to wait until my Medium division entry to find out...

Thanks for looking!

Oh yea, I was wondering if a Mod could tell me if it's ok that a few bricks on my entry go outside the 8x8 limit.  I figured that since it was just in a few spots and I didn't do any major overlapping it wouldn't be a big deal.

~Thrash

Edited by SlyOwl, 05 November 2009 - 08:16 PM.

[pr0visorak]

Nice Moc!A bit complicated but nice I dont think the minifig outside the 8x8 base is allowed though.

[Guss]

really nice moc, I love the cannonball going through the poor guy , but why did you used an helmet as cannonball , why didn't you used a 1x1 round black brick ( or dark grey ) ?

[RichardAM]

It's nice how it's layered- you've managed to get loads of height from such a small base.

I do love the flying Pirate Captain though!  

[Zorro]

My opinion:

Looks like an average to good MOC, but there are some little things I don't like as much...
Still, good enough, especcialy after you made some improvements.
The blood that splathers around the soldier that gets hit is sooo cool , and so is the little room with the governors daughter.

Possible improvements:

1) The minifig out there may not be allowed, and it doesn't look that realisitic either.

2) What is that purple thing near the soldier? I can't see it that well and the color doesn't seem to fit in.

Non-brick related advise:

1) Watch for spelling mistakes:
eg.: ...threw the side of the fort...
Better would be: through the side...


Overall, I think this is a very good MOC, so keep up the good work!

Edited by zorro3999, 13 October 2008 - 11:00 AM.

[Captain Zuloo]

zorro3999, on Oct 13 2008, 08:59 PM, said:

2) What is that purple thing near the soldier? I can't see it that well and the color doesn't seem to fit in.

I think it is some kind of grog bottle as there is also a barrel of grog up there - however, the transparent purple doesn't fit, so I think it needs to go.
And I love the bloke hanging from the ceiling.

[Legoking]

Opinion
Wow, nice job on your MOC Thrash! I can see you have put a lot of time into this MOC, along with a lot of detail. I really like how you made the soldier getting blasted by that cannon ball and how you made it come out of his back with lots of blood. I like how you have three levels. The one I like the most is the second level because it has the cannon and it also has the blue armada guy getting blown up! I like how you added that pirate hanging down from the ceiling just when the Governor's daughter thought she was safe, but she was not. On each level, I like how you you put tiles down. Your story fits your MOC very well.

Possible Improvements

1) I don't think you should have that pirate flying in the air. I think he should be ontop of the tower fighting the Imperial Guard.

2) I think you should take that purple jug away because I don't know what is has to do with your MOC at all.

Overall- This is a great MOC and I can see you put a lot of time and detail into your MOC. A few minor improvements, but when you finish them, your MOC will be great! I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

[Adam]

Well, it is a great small entry, but there are certainly some problems:

1. Remove the Beliville jug- it really looks out of place, especially being pink. I suggest adding a crate with chicken legs and yellow/orange cheese slopes.

2. Though the helmet cannonball looks nice, a technic ball joint might look better.

3. The flying pirate should be removed- perhaps he could be placed on the wall itself?

4. The gap where the cannonball crashed through could be a little more refined- I'm speaking of the bricks jutting out the side. Perhaps simple 1x1 bricks would look nicer.

5. Perhaps some debris could be placed in front of the hole? There would be some scattered about in real life.

6. I like the way you made the cannon on the second floor, but if it was one plate higher, it may look better. However, you would have to raise the opening as well, and that may prove problematic.

Though don't get me wrong- this still is a very good creation!

[Razzer]

Other than the improvements stated above, all I can think of as an improvementis to make the cannon operator (beautifully bring ripped to shreds ) look more like an imperial, as at first I thought he was a pirate because of the rag hat.

[Captain Zuloo]

Razzer, on Oct 14 2008, 03:42 AM, said:

Other than the improvements stated above, all I can think of as an improvementis to make the cannon operator (beautifully bring ripped to shreds ) look more like an imperial, as at first I thought he was a pirate because of the rag hat.

Good idea. Perhaps change the bandana for a shako or a tricorn? Just that the Royal Navy woud've given their soldiers - not sailors, but soldiers a hat other than a bandana.

[Claus von Nassau]

Captain Zuloo, on Oct 13 2008, 11:58 AM, said:

I think it is some kind of grog bottle as there is also a barrel of grog up there - however, the transparent purple doesn't fit, so I think it needs to go.
And I love the bloke hanging from the ceiling.

Captain Zuloo, you of all must know that, a soldier standing morning guard, must have a good filled botlle of RUM..........
hahahhaha,

i like the idea but i agree on the colour, it would be better if it was a tan or brown colour, i know these are not around.

good entry, nice hight over such a small base

claus von nassau

[samthelegoman1]

Awesome MOC, dude!  The cannonball effect is sweet!  Good luck in the contest!

[Thrash]

Thanks for the comments and suggestions guys!

Sounds to me like the bottom floor is good as is, the cannon ball needs to be changed from a helmet on the second floor, and the top floor has a lot of problems.  It's interesting that that's the case...originally my idea was just to have the top floor.  I thought that the pirate flying through the air towards the guard would make for a really neat scene.  Then when I was building I thought, "Hey, it might be cool if I added some action on the floors below."  Good thing I added the floors below, or this MOC would have really fallen flat...

As for the bandana on the soldier on the second floor...the only reason I did that was to cover up the back of his face.  I really like the front of that face...but it has the stupid double printing so it looks stupid if you use a regular hat.  I might just have to put a yellow decal over the back of his head to cover up the smiley face.

I'll be back at home with my Lego collection sometime this weekend, so be sure to check back for updates Saturday or Sunday!

~Thrash

[Erdbeereis]

Great entry Thrash!
Your MOC has very many great details, and nice SNOT as well. The cannonball going through the man is fantastic and plenty gruesome.
The wall looks nice with the uneven hole left by the cannonball, and the pirate hanging from the ceiling is hilarious.

A few things you could improve are:

1) Like others have said, the pink Belville jug really doesn't fit in too well with the surroundings. I would change it to a crate, goblet, or something like that.

2) The flying pirate, while a really good idea, probably isn't allowed judging from the rules. Instead, you could place him on the wall with a gun pointing at the soldier.

3) You could perhaps add a bit of detail on the outer wall. Maybe add some dark grey tiles attached by some headlight bricks, for some more excitement on the wall.

4) Where the hole in the wall is, I think it would look good to have a 1 x 1 grey tile on the stud sticking out on the side, to maintain the smooth look you have in the rest of the MOC. Also inside where the cannonball blasted through, you could add some grey 1 x 1 round plates as debris.


You have made a great entry and I think it has a very good chance in the contest. Nice work!

[Thomas B.]

Staff members? Where are you? I would assume that this violates the rules because the baseplates are stacked. So, would some Pirate Staff answer me?

[Captain Zuloo]

Claus von Nassau, on Oct 14 2008, 05:13 AM, said:

Captain Zuloo, you of all must know that, a soldier standing morning guard, must have a good filled botlle of RUM..........
hahahhaha,
claus von nassau

Not my soldiers - I hope!

[pe668]

The canon ball death is very well done, I like it alot.

[Captain Zuloo]

pe668, on Oct 15 2008, 10:21 PM, said:

The canon ball death is very well done, I like it alot.

I think it is a direct result of your small class entry, just the soldier was going so fast he turned into rock?