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Castaway Pirates


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25 replies to this topic  – Started by Ryan_T , Nov 21 2008 07:48 PM

#1 Ryan_T

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 07:48 PM

Posted Image Vig. 40b
Here It is. The Plate is a 16 Stud wide and 32 Stud Long. :D

Posted Image

Here's the main entry. you can see almost everything that's happening here. *Got the parrot this time!*

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image


Posted Image
.
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the inside doesn't have much inside..... just a chest. I moved the bench to the outside. *The Imperial man is dead on it.*

And that's all! Hope you liked it. Even if I don't win, it was fun making it! *I never win Anything online. So I will loose, i bet on it! :D*

-EDIT- Well Contest is over.. Waiting for the Winners.. I know it won't be me. Anyways. Just wanted to say, I am working on a new small Moc. I'll post pics tomorrow of how it is coming along.. :)

-Davy_Blocks   :jollyroger: Arr!


Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:45 PM.

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

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#2 Guss

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 08:08 PM

Hello ^^ that's a nice little moc I see there, but I don't think It belong to this contest
this contest is named " pillage the village" , supposed to show "cruelty of pirates" , there is nothing cruel in it, and this have nothing to do with a pillage :/

but! there is a way to makes it an entry for the contest !
maybe makes the pirates eats the soldiers to survive on his island, maybe add a violent scene, make it cruel ! ^^

oh, and the pictures are supposed to be 800x600 to be eligible for the contest^^

anyway, I wish that you'll make some nice improvement to it, and I wish you good luck for the contest ^^
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#3 Eskallon

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 08:20 PM

Lovely creation I especially like the way you made the roof out of those leaf pieces
:pir-blush:

#4 Legoking

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 09:35 PM

Opinion
I like your creation Davy_Blocks. It gives a forest type theme and I like how the pirates made this shack out of the wreckage of their ship. On your pirate shack, I like that you have a mix of rocks and wood to create the shack. Also, I noticed that the roof is very well done by having leafs as the roof. In your first picture, I can see a monkey climbing the tree to get some bananas I assume. In your second picture, I like the little weapon storage barrel.

Possible Improvements

1) The faces on your minifigs look to standard. Give them a mean, grunting face expression.

2) Put some tan tiles on the ground to give your MOC a smoother effect.

3) Since you have limited space in your MOC and you have no blood at all. Why not have a pirate and an Imperial guard fighting on the roof. Or have a dead guard with blood pouring out of him.

4) Put a treasure chest in place of the bench inside your shack.

5) If you have a monkey in your creation, you must have a rainbow parrot in there too!

Non-Brick Related

1) Your pictures can be no bigger than 800 x 600 pixels.

2) In your fifth picture, it seems too dark. Try backing away and zooming in on it. This way the flash will get inside of your shack.

3) Some spelling/grammar mistakes. For example, don't have the word easily capitalized in the middle of your sentence. Also, I would re over your description you have so far.

4) It would be nice if you had a story to go with your MOC.

Overall- You have done a great job and I like you idea of a shack made out of a pirate ship. There are some things I would fix in your MOC. I wish you the best of luck!

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#5 Ryan_T

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 09:53 PM

I'll get to work changing it soon! Thanks for all the positive comments! And yea, I know my grammar is bad :/ I just can't change it as hard as i try :(

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#6 Zorro

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 09:58 PM

My opinion:
Nice little entry you made, Davy_Blocks! It has a high level of details.
On the other side I see some things that don't really belong in the PTV theme.

Possible improvements:
1) I second Guss by saying your MOC needs more cruelty. Maybe the pirate could have killed someone, or there could be fighting. Your call.

2) The cavalry guy is from around 1850 at its earliest point, so he looks a bit out of place. Don't you have any more Imperials or perhaps an Islander could do the trick?

3) Do I see...pink? Why did you use pink? Gray or brown would be better IMHO.

Non-brick related advise:
1) 800x600 really is the max, adapt to it or you might be disqualified I'm afraid.

2) Maybe a larger story would be nice?

#7 Mister Phes

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:03 PM

My feedback would be to reduce the font size of your signature as it seems to draw too much attention to itself.


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#8 oDDerFisken

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:12 PM

Nice "jungle" MOC. Poor soldier having to fight a pirate with that small knife :pir-skull:

The roof is nice, though I wouldn't live in the hut when it's rainseason :pir-tongue:

The way the hut is build in rocks palms and other plants.

Possible Improvements
First of all this is a contest for pillaging. There's not so much pillaging going on in you MOC. There's not evena  single drop of blood. I want blooooood. That would make it more suitable for the contest.

What is the westernguy doing in there? Even if you haven't got any more "real" soldiers you could make him more pirate-ish. By giving him som epaulets and a tricorne he would be much more right for the period.

And speaking of epaulets: I think your other soldier should have his in another colour. I'd prefer yellow or blue for the red guards.

The picture where you're showing the inside of the hut is very dark, and it's almost impossible to see what's in the hut. You should retake that one so it's lighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You MOC has got some potential, but you gotta work with it to make it real evil and fit for the contest
Good luck.

#9 Ryan_T

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 11:42 PM

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 21 2008, 09:58 PM, said:

3) Do I see...pink? Why did you use pink? Gray or brown would be better IMHO.
You do not see Pink!!!! its Grey... It was The green reflecting with the light. And here comes the new Pictures!

(The Cavalry Guy is a time traveler! lol j/k, I don't have any more Imperials or islanders :/)

Alright the New Pictures are in! :D Hope you like them. I didn't know how to size it so i put it at 800X600 PIXELS So yea....

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#10 Legoking

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 12:33 AM

You clearly did not read the rules. Medium PTV contest entries can only be as big as 16 x 16 studs and no bigger. You MOC is 16 x 32 studs. This entry would be disqualified and belongs in the large contest area. You have to either change it back to 16 x 16 studs or ask Mister Phes if he can change your tile to "Castaway Pirates - Large".
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#11 Zorro

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 12:41 AM

View PostLegoKing, on Nov 22 2008, 01:33 AM, said:

You clearly did not read the rules. Medium PTV contest entries can only be as big as 16 x 16 studs and no bigger. You MOC is 16 x 32 studs. This entry would be disqualified and belongs in the large contest area. You have to either change it back to 16 x 16 studs or ask Mister Phes if he can change your tile to "Castaway Pirates - Large".
He did ask that in his first sentence, but something must have gone wrong titling it I'm afraid.

But LegoKing is absolutely right  :thumbup: , this way it will be disqualified and no one wants that, does he! Maybe you should PM one of the following to change it: Phred, SLyowl, Mister Phes, Captain Green Hair or another moderator.

#12 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 07:12 AM

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 22 2008, 01:41 AM, said:

He did ask that in his first sentence, but something must have gone wrong titling it I'm afraid.
No, Remember I changed the Moc. :) There wasn't enough room so... I made it bigger for this lovely Scene!

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



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-Admiral Ron


#13 Erdbeereis

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 04:10 PM

Your entry is quite good, I like the little hut, with the nice palm fronds covering it and the entry has a nice large amount of plant life which I always like.
The monkey climbing up the tree is a good little detail.

Some improvements you could make are:

1) First of all, like I said in your small entry post, that bright green-yellow backdrop really distracts from the entry. I would highly recommend using a white background (or some other neutral color) instead.

2) I think it would be better if all of the attacked soldiers were imperials like the one on the cutting board. But if you don't have any more, that's fine.
Another idea here would be to use only Islanders, like Zorro said.

3) The red arm doesn't look so great as blood in my opinion. Some red plumes or trans-red plates or tile would look much better.

4) Perhaps you could re-take the picture of the inside of the hut, as it's almost impossible to see anything.

====================================================================

So far, I think you've done a good job, and I think that with a few touch-ups here and there, it will turn out to be even better.

Good luck! :pir-sweet:

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#14 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 07:28 PM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 22 2008, 05:10 PM, said:

Your entry is quite good, I like the little hut, with the nice palm fronds covering it and the entry has a nice large amount of plant life which I always like.
The monkey climbing up the tree is a good little detail.

Thanks!  :pir_laugh2:

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 22 2008, 05:10 PM, said:

1) First of all, like I said in your small entry post, that bright green-yellow backdrop really distracts from the entry. I would highly recommend using a white background (or some other neutral color) instead.

Will work on that. :)

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 22 2008, 05:10 PM, said:

2) I think it would be better if all of the attacked soldiers were imperials like the one on the cutting board. But if you don't have any more, that's fine.
Another idea here would be to use only Islanders, like Zorro said.

Yea I will work on the Cavalry guy to pirate him up a bit. Any Ideas that doesn't involve epaulets? *did i spell that Right?

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 22 2008, 05:10 PM, said:

3) The red arm doesn't look so great as blood in my opinion. Some red plumes or trans-red plates or tile would look much better.

Agreed.

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 22 2008, 05:10 PM, said:

4) Perhaps you could re-take the picture of the inside of the hut, as it's almost impossible to see anything.

Will Do.

Thanks!

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



"I have one question myself Admiral, what is a spanker? it sounds like a terrible device!"
-Admiral Ron


#15 Legoking

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 08:25 PM

Opinion
Nice improvements Davy_Blocks. I like that you expanded your medium PTV entry into a large PTV entry. The forest you have in front of your shack looks much better than your original one. Also, I like that you have added more blood into your MOC. The table with the dead Imperial guard is a pretty cool thing. I see you have added a spider into your MOC as well. I also like that you included a banana in the palm tree.

Possible Improvements

1) As Erdbesseis1 said, those arms don't really look like blood. You can either use red tiles as blood or transparent red pieces. I prefer transparent red because it looks more like blood.

Non-Brick Related

1) Your first and fifth pictures are a blurry. Sorry to say, but I would re-take them.

Overall- You have done some very nice improvements. I really like that you made a forest. I see you have taken my advice on putting a treasure chest in your shack in replace of the bench. Thank you for liking my comments. I wish you the best of luck!

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#16 Guss

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:10 PM

really nice improvement you did ^^ that's way better now !

one little improvement I see is to add some things on the front forest.. I don't know what, but it looks a little strange to me^^ apart from this, it's ok  :thumbup:  !
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#17 Ryan_T

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Posted 22 November 2008 - 09:52 PM

Alright the new pictures are up! I am hoping it is the last update I have to go through though! Its hard to resize them all while listening to songs by AQUA.

"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

- JTaylor



"I have one question myself Admiral, what is a spanker? it sounds like a terrible device!"
-Admiral Ron


#18 Erdbeereis

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:04 AM

Nice job!

The new blood effects look much better and your new pictures show the entry in a much better way.

1 more improvement idea:

1) On the rocky fort, I think it would look much better if you were to put grey or dark grey tiles or 1 x 1 slopes on the exposed studs for a smoother look to match the rest of the entry.

========================================================================

Good work on the improvements, and all the best in the contest! :monkey:

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#19 Ryan_T

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:51 AM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 24 2008, 02:04 AM, said:

1) On the rocky fort, I think it would look much better if you were to put grey or dark grey tiles or 1 x 1 slopes on the exposed studs for a smoother look to match the rest of the entry.
Unless you want to Send me a bunch, I will :P I only have about 1.... LOL

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#20 Zorro

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:58 AM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 24 2008, 03:04 AM, said:

1) On the rocky fort, I think it would look much better if you were to put grey or dark grey tiles or 1 x 1 slopes on the exposed studs for a smoother look to match the rest of the entry.
I think its tiled a bit too much already, but that is always personal so it is up to him I guess.
What I would advise to change is:

Possible improvements:
1) Some brickcolors I would replace by others: the grey parrot would look better in red or in multi-color, or gold/blue/... grey birds belong more to the northern parts of the world. Also the flagpoles might look better in brown, since I presume they used wood because it is less visible and they have plenty of it!

2) I would put in some loose rocks, since it is weird to have one large rock formation and even grounds for the rest. I also have my doubts about all the green tiles, but if you like it it is OK, since clearly some others like tiling everything as well.

Minor points: Some details like adding plumes if you have them and why don't you put the animals (the snake and the spider) on top of the dead bodies, I think that might look very nice!.

In general: you succeeded in convincing me! I now ADMIRE your entry, the improvements you made are so terribly good I don't see any weak spots anymore  :thumbup: (except maybe the cavalry guy).

Edited by zorro3999, 24 November 2008 - 02:59 AM.


#21 Erdbeereis

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 03:22 AM

I certainly don't think he needs to tile the fort, but I thought it might match the rest of the entry better. :pir-classic:

Anyways, I think we all agree that you did well with your improvements!  :pir_laugh2:

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#22 Ryan_T

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 05:15 AM

Great Seeing as I can't keep such a nice MOC together for a couple of Days :/ It is messing up from all the moving it is getting. I was working on another but got distracted and make a snake chase Indiana Jones on the Beach... :D yea... I don't have alot of BROWN. And the Flag Poles were replaced by newer Erm.... Black Poles... Lol But... Anyway. i'll work on it a bit more here and there. See if I can get it perfect in my eyes...  :pir_laugh2:

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#23 gormadoc1

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 09:34 PM

This build is amazing,realy good. It reminds me of a little pirate outpost for lost pirates you could say, and it is always stocked with supplies, thats not the point though. This a great little scene with the pirates appering to speak after a small battle and losing two members of their crew.They could be planning to strike on their enemy or planning an escape. It is truly a great design I realy like the two flags and the little red squares that were used as blood are great. If I made it i would have a little sea bit with a row boat but if you dont have them them some interior design like beds you  know simple furniture and possibly some soldiers in the background.  :jollyroger:
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#24 pirate4life

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 08:59 PM

Rellay good but needs to be spaced out a bit. Could use some food and maybe a beach. A fire would be good and fruits hanging on trees or on the ground would also be good. The navy men could use more weapons than just a knife and a sword. Ill give it  3 out of 5.

#25 Ryan_T

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Posted 29 November 2008 - 06:22 AM

Is This Scene a Bit Better? Cause I have added a Cannon. If it is good gotta take new pictures.

*THE CANNON WASHED UPON THE SHORE.* also added a small piece of a Lake.


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"However that doesn't stop them from taking their characters pants off and running around the city!"

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