20 replies to this topic

[Jlblue]

This is a comic I've been working on for a little while, which basically boils down to a crew of space pirates in the year 2362. It's usually a pretty lighthearted, comedic action comic, but there are definitely episodes with a darker tone.

Link.

Enjoy.

Edit: My website's officially shut down to a wide variety of reasons, so now the best place to be viewed would be brickshelf. Please use the following link: New Link!

Edited by Jlblue, 19 September 2009 - 02:33 AM.

[Sandy]

Hmm, not bad at all, I have to say! I read the first part, and I found the cast interesting, and I'll be reading on to learn more about them and their adventurers.

The first part was a bit hard to follow, with the sudden jumps back and forth, and switching of places without a proper cue. But I have to see how the storytelling has developed since that, because my first chapter in Princess Quest is atrocious, while I think I improved as the story went on. And your start was much better to begin with.

[Jlblue]

Yeah, the first episode isn't exactly my favorite, and the cutting back to before the events of the episode is something that goes away in later episodes. Plus I found it tough to introduce everyone at once, which is why some characters get their first real character development in later episodes.

[Sandy]

I've read the entire first arc now, and moving on to the second. I'm really enjoying the characters, and needless to say the female characters are my favorites.

Jlblue, on Aug 16 2009, 12:00 AM, said:

Plus I found it tough to introduce everyone at once, which is why some characters get their first real character development in later episodes.

This was a great decision, it almost feels like most of the characters had their own "episodes" like in a tv-series (the comic often feels like one, anyway). Some characters are left in the dark, though, like the "main hero" Javian, who barely speaks or does anything in the series, but he seems to be always present, like an avatar of the reader in some ways. I don't know if he has more purpose in the second arc, but he's seriously underused for seemingly being a central character.

I don't usually even like main hero-types, but there's just nothing to dislike in Javian, either. All of the other cast members are much more interesting than him.

The other problem I have with the comic is the abundance of violence. I'm not against blood or killing in comics, but especially in the early parts all the killing seemed to get in the way of the story. The pirates didn't even seem to loot anything, they just butchered people. I found the running gag about the guard who gets repeatedly shot by the pirates wherever he goes very funny, though.

There were other nitpicks and bloopers, like people moving from spaceship to spaceship by just opening doors and the slave woman being in the slave-traders jail for over two years (which is very bad slaving business in my opinion, since the whole idea is to sell people, not keep them locked up ). And sometimes the situations weren't explained properly, leading to confusion as to what was happening and where the pirates were.

But I'm just trying to be constructive here, since I'm really enjoying your comic and your characters. Each chapter has a distinct plot-line in it, while the overarching plot is still present in almost every one of them, and that's skillfull story crafting in my eyes. There are many funny punch-lines and running gags, and there certainly is no monotony but plenty of action and speed. The digital effects and speech bubbles are skillfully done (although the intro screens are sometimes too pixelated to read clearly).

Oh, I also have to commend you for the world and the history you've created. I just love the fact that it has it's own cursewords and accents, making it feel like a future society rather than a copy of our own that is just set in space.

So I say great job with what you've done!

[Jlblue]

I'll tell you one thing, it's good to have legitimate criticism, especially when I post it in other places and most people just tell me how wonderful I am. Which I don't mind, per se,    but it gets annoying.

I am glad you noticed the influence I took from good, dramatic TV series. The main idea for the arcs was basically that they were like seasons, each one of them would have their own stories that would build on the last. Javian not talking much is just his character. My idea for him was just a rather calm, silent guy that could go nuts in combat if the wrong buttons are pushed. Lately I've found that it can be difficult to have him still be the main character, especially when I need Lex, as captain, to do a lot of the leadership stuff, but I do have plans to try and put more focus on him.

Another thing I've sort of been struggling with is the "pointless" action scenes, like you sort of mentioned. Ones against random enemies thrown in there just to have an action scene that episode, which is something that I'm coming to realize now is sort of stupid, especially when now I'm more confident in my ability to have a more character-driven episode that develops them more, and does not require any action.

The ship-to-ship by opening doors is because of the boarding tubes, which is how pirates raid ships, they latch the tubes from their airlock to another airlock, and as soon as it's airtight, they go. I will admit the locked up for two years was sort of odd... I think at some point I planned on having an explanation for that, but I guess I never got around to really having it in there.

During the second arc, I found a better method to make the intro screens. It makes them much clearer.

Thank you for the compliments and criticism, hopefully you'll continue reading and I'll continue to improve.

[Sandy]

Jlblue, on Aug 17 2009, 05:14 PM, said:

Thank you for the compliments and criticism, hopefully you'll continue reading and I'll continue to improve.

You're welcome! Not many members have found this new forum yet, so the least we comic-makers can do is give feedback to each other.

I see a new comic has popped up already, so I'll go and read it now. I'm just wondering, how often do you update your site?

[Jlblue]

I do try to update it a lot, mainly because I never really know when I'm going to have a long period of time when I'm unable to make any updates. But I don't have any type of schedule.

[Sandy]

Oh, third arc started already!

The story has certainly picked up greatly. You have some great moments in there, and all the main characters are deep and multifaceted. Now that

Spoiler

Lex is dead, Lavian can finally take the limelight

.

I can tell that you have a fan in me!

[Jlblue]

Yeah, that was sort of the point of

Spoiler

Lex's death.

You were very, very right about Javian not getting enough attention for being the supposed main character, and that sort of bugged me. So congratulations, you had influence on the comic!  

Just so you are aware, some of the people on another forum I post this comic on would officially hate you, given how ticked off they were about the end of arc two.

[Sandy]

Jlblue, on Sep 13 2009, 07:09 PM, said:

Just so you are aware, some of the people on another forum I post this comic on would officially hate you, given how ticked off they were about the end of arc two.

Oh please, at least I knew it would happen sooner or later, in stories

Spoiler

the old wise veteran always kicks the bucket when he has taught his disciple everything he knows (it's the "Law of Obi Wan Kenobi").

I can't believe someone was surprised about it...

Now I'm rooting for Sid to reunite with his Chris. I just loved that twist.

[Jlblue]

Spoiler

Technically most of them are pissed about how Zachariah took it than anything else.

I was actually glad how well received that twist was. I was a little worried posting that at first because of how people would take it, most of the readers just said how surprising and real a twist it was.

[Sandy]

I can't believe that comment in Chapter 20! "Why oh why must Sid be gay?" Like that makes him a less cool or "badass" character! Kids seriously need positive gay rolemodels, just to show them that gay people come in just as many variations as straight people do.

Yeah, I have loads of gay and lesbian friends, so I'm very pissed about the intolerance they have to face.

Sid is a great character, and him being gay only adds to his personality, it does not take anything away from it.

Anyway, I love the mutiny among the villains. Blackjack never seemed to live up to his reputation in badassery, in any case. But that Anders Larsson -guy just keeps on surviving!

[Jlblue]

I agree wholeheartedly in that regard, yes.

Talk Like a Pirate Day special.

[Sandy]

Jlblue, on Sep 21 2009, 03:03 AM, said:

Talk Like a Pirate Day special.

D'awww!

They should've kept talking like pirates throughout the comic, though.

[Jlblue]

The next episode, The '59 Sound, is up!

[Sandy]

Things are building up quite nicely. I like how you take things slow, but still advance the story in each chapter.

I think you just need to be careful with all the new characters you're adding (and old faces you're bringing back), because they can eventually clog your screens and steal the limelight from the main characters if you're not careful.

I'm having the same problem with my plans for the Queens' Quest comic. Right now I have 38 named characters I want to include in it, and I can already tell that's way too many despite the fact that I haven't shot a single photo for it yet. Let's see how it develops, though...

[Jlblue]

Two Episodes:
High Lonesome
Say I Won't (Recognize)

[Sandy]

Ooh, I sense a conclusion is coming to this series. All the crew needs to do is beat the snot out of Sam's father, and then that's that. I'm sure you'll include some sort of a twist to the end, so I'll be looking forward to that.

[Jlblue]

The end...

Red at Night

Spoiler

Or is it...?

(It's not even close.)

[Sandy]

Okay, I just might have to read that chapter again, because I have no thrudding idea what was going on in the end!

So they crashlanded, but suddenly the ship started moving, and some of the crew were just chilling out in the open for some reason... And then there was some sci-fi mumbojumbo words and then... crash?

I don't really understand how a single man (Timothy) can just take over an entire coalition by murdering the other leaders. Do the troops just obey anyone barking orders at them blindly?

Despite my confusion, I could feel the intensifying feeling of the comic. I'm totally excited to see the ending!

[Jlblue]

Basically, while the main part of the crew was guarding the Vanessa, the rest of the crew examined the crash site, accidentally started the ship even though it didn't have a velocity regulator and several other key components, so they were going at crazy fast speeds and going in random directions, while the rest of the crew was ambushed by a sniper. Then, for unknown reason, the ship the crew was examining crashed.

Sandy, on Oct 13 2009, 02:25 PM, said:

I don't really understand how a single man (Timothy) can just take over an entire coalition by murdering the other leaders. Do the troops just obey anyone barking orders at them blindly?

He already had most of them on his side, and he's a damn good liar.

Episode one of arc four.