[SoNE Freebuild 15] Fixing to Clear the Mind

[MKJoshA]

OoC: See the rest of the story:

Season 1

Season 2

Junker's Fee

Welcome to Fondor

Fondor City Nightlife

Many Bothans Died... Well At Least One

Kale took me to a warehouse and we hunkered down for a few days. Soon the Imperial patrols stopped being so frequent and returned to their normal schedule. Kale would leave each afternoon and return sometime before daylight. Sometimes he came back drunk, other times he came back with food or supplies. He left me alone most of the time as I tried to piece together the shattered pieces of my life. I ate just enough to stay alive and slept a lot. When I wasn’t sleeping I was stewing in the black thoughts that swirled through my mind.

Why am I here? I thought. Am I really doing the right thing by helping the Rebellion? Maybe my brother had a point. How do I know they won’t become as bad as the Imperials once they overthrow them? Could I do just as much good within the Imperial system? Maybe I should go back to Corellia and run for Diktat. But I’m no politician; I’m just a man with a gun.

My thoughts kept running in circles, getting nowhere. A week after my brother died at the hands of the Mandalorian, Kale came into the warehouse with a speeder being towed behind him.

“I won this in a Sabac game last night” he said. “The repulsers are shot but it’s nothing a little work won’t fix.”

I looked at the speeder with only the smallest amount of interest.

“Look,” he said, “Josh, I know you’ve been through a rough time. But sometimes what a man needs most is to keep moving. There’s nothing I know that can help better than to fix something.”

He handed me a spanner which I accepted. We worked in silence for the next few hours.

Kale was right, fixing this speeder did help to clear my mind. It also brought back memories of all the time my brother and I had spent in our father’s garage back on Corellia. When we were done with the repairs Kale flipped the starter toggle and the speeder purred to life.

“You’re awfully handy with these tools” Kale said to me. “I could use a man like you on my smuggling runs. I’ve got a contract that will take me away from Fondor in 2 weeks. What do you say? Want to come with me?”

“I can’t” I replied. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me Kale. But there is something I have to do.”

“Hey man,” Kale started, “I didn’t do anything any civilized being would have done. You needed some time to yourself. I just gave you a corner to use while you recovered. And I know you have that Rebellion to get back to. That kind of thing’s just not for me. I’m not interested in risking my neck for the galaxy, only the being next to me” he finished with a grin.

“You’re a good guy Kale, but I’m not going back to the Rebellion” I replied. “I’m going to the Imperial recruitment office. I’m going to sign up to be a Stormtrooper.”

[Jakorin Swiftsword]

Wow fantastic! That purple speeder really catches the eye!

[Lord Vladivus]

Nice build, but can you swap?

[Kodan Black]

Whew, a lot to take in. First, love the outside street scene -- very organic and that tractor trailer truck equivalent is sweet. In the first big picture I don't know how comfortable it is to have a wrench up the backside, but I've never tried it either! I might have tried to take the shot in such a way to hide that. (Second picture he is leaning against air?)

The speeder is pretty basic but works, I kind of wish in the "fix it" picture the hoses on the wall would be hooked up or a rolling diagnostics cart or something would be used.

I like the continuation of the story and the back wall's tool grid. That is pretty nifty. The more I look at the tractor trailer the more I like it too.

[goatman461]

Get this man some cookies!

[MKJoshA]

Wow fantastic! That purple speeder really catches the eye!

Thanks Jakorin!

Nice build, but can you swap?

I guess you'll just have to wait and see! I already have the next part of my story built, I just have to write the dialogue and take the pictures so I should have it up in about a week.

Whew, a lot to take in. First, love the outside street scene -- very organic and that tractor trailer truck equivalent is sweet. In the first big picture I don't know how comfortable it is to have a wrench up the backside, but I've never tried it either! I might have tried to take the shot in such a way to hide that. (Second picture he is leaning against air?)

The speeder is pretty basic but works, I kind of wish in the "fix it" picture the hoses on the wall would be hooked up or a rolling diagnostics cart or something would be used.

I like the continuation of the story and the back wall's tool grid. That is pretty nifty. The more I look at the tractor trailer the more I like it too.

If you look at the 3rd larger picture you can see the stool my character was sitting on showing up in the right side of the picture. I'm sorry that was confusing. I wanted something that didn't look like a Lego chair or a 2x2 plate for him to sit on so I made up something that looked like it would fit in a warehouse setting.

I like your suggestions with the hoses. Maybe I should have done that

Get this man some cookies!

Will they be chocolate chip? Or does the Dark Side have choices?

[LucasLaughing]

Awesome scene! I just went back and read the rest of your 'Season 2' story to refresh my memory and I really dig what you've got going; I'm glad you had your character crash for a while to deal with the death of his brother, and I'm curious to see if/how it will affect him in the future. I like the feel of the interior warehouse - especially the grey greebling on the walls. That speeder also has a cool "hot-rod" look!

[Pointblank]

Will they be chocolate chip? Or does the Dark Side have choices?

We always have choices. We can't guarantee you like them all though

[VK-318]

Will they be chocolate chip? Or does the Dark Side have choices?

The Dark Side is all about choices. But my next story arc is getting more and more complicated every time somebody starts another build! That speeder is great. I think it's just a bit too square along the sides, but otherwise it's a very nice little purple machine.

Edited November 12, 2014 by VK-318

[Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka]

Judges say, "Good job."

The Judges say, "Room for improvement."

Edited November 13, 2014 by Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka

[Bob De Quatre]

Judges say, "Good job."

The judges really said that?

[MKJoshA]

Awesome scene! I just went back and read the rest of your 'Season 2' story to refresh my memory and I really dig what you've got going; I'm glad you had your character crash for a while to deal with the death of his brother, and I'm curious to see if/how it will affect him in the future. I like the feel of the interior warehouse - especially the grey greebling on the walls. That speeder also has a cool "hot-rod" look!

Thanks! I'm glad you like the story, it's been fun to write!

We always have choices. We can't guarantee you like them all though

Well, as they always say, "When live gives you lousy cookies, just buy some icecream to put on top of them to make it better."

The Dark Side is all about choices. But my next story arc is getting more and more complicated every time somebody starts another build! That speeder is great. I think it's just a bit too square along the sides, but otherwise it's a very nice little purple machine.

Thanks for the feedback!

The judges really said that?

Well, it looks like they changed their mind...

[Lord Tyrus]

Well, it looks like they changed their mind...

Aha! I always knew the judges were biased! That's why the Rebels are ahead! Either that or Bob edited the transmission! Great build, especially the Imperial speedery thing!

[Manx]

Really nice speeder, nice choose of colors!

[BEAVeR]

Let's say my extremely late comment is due to the fact that I need to process all of this... yes, that sounds good.

While that isn't entirely true, I certainly was very impressed with the story you created. More on that later. Let's talk about the build first.

I said it multiple times, and it stays true every time, but your builds just keep improving. In overall layout, this build isn't spectacular. For that it needs more interesting shapes and angles, e.g. in the wall. But still, you manage to really divide the two scenes, without totally breaking them apart. That wall is pretty clever, with ornaments and streetlights at one side, and greebles at the other. I'm not a big fan of those transparent pieces in the windows though. They give a weird effect, and it looks like it isn't wanted. If you want to have an extra effect, make it look more intentional, e.g. by replacing the transparent bricks with plates, or adding a single transparent plate between every two bricks to give it more intentional texture. You could also make it more interesting by offsetting the bricks so that the window recesses. Alternatively, you could forget about that transparency altogether and leave a clean hole. If you blur the visible background, the effect might even be better, especially if you invest in more interesting windows. Simple details could do, like bars in front of the windows. You illustrated this perfectly in other parts of your build: I'm terribly fond of that sewer grate in the street scene! All details to make it more interesting! Same goes for the nice stool.

The workshop itself is quite nice, with those really good greebles: you embracing that horizontal grate pattern all over the build is rather remarkable. Still, it looks a bit sterile. There is no real place for tools or spare parts, and for vegetating for weeks, you've kept your corner extraordinarily clean. A nice idea would be to have a 'clean' workshop, but with all junk just swiped together in a corner, in a vain attempt to clean the place. Finally, keep in mind that everything needs to look like a real life object, so in principle pipes should connect to something. You could also have some 'decorations' here and there, as it is a place people tend to stay there a lot. So maybe you could loosen up the grey a bit (which you did with the speeder, but could also happen to the building itself) (on a side note, I've noticed you use light grey a lot. This tends to give it a bland look in my eyes. Maybe you could choose something else as a base color next time. How about dark grey walls and light grey greebles? That would be more original. If you don't have enough bricks in a certain color, you could always increase those areas of greelbes etc, as long as you give the impression the base has that particular color). The speeder is nice. I like the bold color choice: perfect for such a vehicle. The subtle greebles are nice, but still there are some elements that seem like they don't belong there. Those front cylinders are an example: those studs seem off. Again, you could just embrace them and add some plates. Or you could rotate them to make them more prominent, but in a good way. Or add square plates in between them. Whenever it looks like you just have to live with some 'artifact' of the system, try to find ways to make it another detail. After a while, you'll find yourself looking at the bricks in a completely different way. A small nitpick about the speeder is the fact that the studs are exposed for the minifigs to sit on: great for swooshing around, not great for looking at. I do want to say that that front looks incredibly awesome though! You really thought out of system there, resulting in a neat, 'new' combination, giving the speeder its own character: well done!

The story gives this creation a whole new dimension though that a lot of other creations seem to miss. I really like how your character isn't Mr. Perfect, and needs time to think about what happened. And even better, you slide into an eternal circle of thinking all kinds of different things that all look correct. I love how you portrayed that circle in so little words: excellent piece of writing there! It's also perfectly in sync with that awesome picture of your minifig there (you should try more of that low perspective photography, as it makes everything so much more realistic and relatable). And then there's that lovely piece of symbolism there, with you fixing the speeder to get back up to speed with your life, with the impulse of your friend. It's really about you trying to take off again, apparently the same person but with new parts. And all of that while the hustle of daily live goes on at the other side of the wall. The more I think about it, the more beautiful the story gets. Please keep giving us such beautiful gems, of building, storytelling and symbolism! You dared to take the jump of switching sides, and I'm happy that you did, because now the possibilities for your stories are really endless. And I have no doubt you will succeed in bringing the best of them. Good luck!

[MKJoshA]

Great build, especially the Imperial speedery thing!

Really nice speeder, nice choose of colors!

Thanks guys! Glad you like the speeder!

Let's say my extremely late comment is due to the fact that I need to process all of this... yes, that sounds good.

While that isn't entirely true, I certainly was very impressed with the story you created. More on that later. Let's talk about the build first.

I said it multiple times, and it stays true every time, but your builds just keep improving. In overall layout, this build isn't spectacular. For that it needs more interesting shapes and angles, e.g. in the wall. But still, you manage to really divide the two scenes, without totally breaking them apart. That wall is pretty clever, with ornaments and streetlights at one side, and greebles at the other. I'm not a big fan of those transparent pieces in the windows though. They give a weird effect, and it looks like it isn't wanted. If you want to have an extra effect, make it look more intentional, e.g. by replacing the transparent bricks with plates, or adding a single transparent plate between every two bricks to give it more intentional texture. You could also make it more interesting by offsetting the bricks so that the window recesses. Alternatively, you could forget about that transparency altogether and leave a clean hole. If you blur the visible background, the effect might even be better, especially if you invest in more interesting windows. Simple details could do, like bars in front of the windows. You illustrated this perfectly in other parts of your build: I'm terribly fond of that sewer grate in the street scene! All details to make it more interesting! Same goes for the nice stool.

The workshop itself is quite nice, with those really good greebles: you embracing that horizontal grate pattern all over the build is rather remarkable. Still, it looks a bit sterile. There is no real place for tools or spare parts, and for vegetating for weeks, you've kept your corner extraordinarily clean. A nice idea would be to have a 'clean' workshop, but with all junk just swiped together in a corner, in a vain attempt to clean the place. Finally, keep in mind that everything needs to look like a real life object, so in principle pipes should connect to something. You could also have some 'decorations' here and there, as it is a place people tend to stay there a lot. So maybe you could loosen up the grey a bit (which you did with the speeder, but could also happen to the building itself) (on a side note, I've noticed you use light grey a lot. This tends to give it a bland look in my eyes. Maybe you could choose something else as a base color next time. How about dark grey walls and light grey greebles? That would be more original. If you don't have enough bricks in a certain color, you could always increase those areas of greelbes etc, as long as you give the impression the base has that particular color). The speeder is nice. I like the bold color choice: perfect for such a vehicle. The subtle greebles are nice, but still there are some elements that seem like they don't belong there. Those front cylinders are an example: those studs seem off. Again, you could just embrace them and add some plates. Or you could rotate them to make them more prominent, but in a good way. Or add square plates in between them. Whenever it looks like you just have to live with some 'artifact' of the system, try to find ways to make it another detail. After a while, you'll find yourself looking at the bricks in a completely different way. A small nitpick about the speeder is the fact that the studs are exposed for the minifigs to sit on: great for swooshing around, not great for looking at. I do want to say that that front looks incredibly awesome though! You really thought out of system there, resulting in a neat, 'new' combination, giving the speeder its own character: well done!

The story gives this creation a whole new dimension though that a lot of other creations seem to miss. I really like how your character isn't Mr. Perfect, and needs time to think about what happened. And even better, you slide into an eternal circle of thinking all kinds of different things that all look correct. I love how you portrayed that circle in so little words: excellent piece of writing there! It's also perfectly in sync with that awesome picture of your minifig there (you should try more of that low perspective photography, as it makes everything so much more realistic and relatable). And then there's that lovely piece of symbolism there, with you fixing the speeder to get back up to speed with your life, with the impulse of your friend. It's really about you trying to take off again, apparently the same person but with new parts. And all of that while the hustle of daily live goes on at the other side of the wall. The more I think about it, the more beautiful the story gets. Please keep giving us such beautiful gems, of building, storytelling and symbolism! You dared to take the jump of switching sides, and I'm happy that you did, because now the possibilities for your stories are really endless. And I have no doubt you will succeed in bringing the best of them. Good luck!

Thank you as always for your feedback and input BEAVeR! I won't take time to respond to all of your comments but I will pick a couple to reply to. for the windows, I think you've mentioned the "use no clear pieces and leave it empty and open" idea before. I'm just not fond of that idea. However, I'll keep trying to improve on my windows and get them to a point where everyone likes them! As for the clutter in the shop, I wanted it to feel more like an empty warehouse than a cluttered shop. Anywhere there should be more clutter (such as where my character has been bunking out) can be excused as being outside the shot of the build Finally, as for the allegiance of my character, it has yet to be seen what will finally happen to him!

[Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka]

Judges have awarded you 4 XP!