33 replies to this topic

[Rook]

Vig. 25c
Pillage the Village Contest Entry Small

The Collector (revised entry)

This sick and twisted Pirate loves collecting. Like most Pirates he loves all kinds of loot & booty. He also has a not so secret collection of heads from the poor villagers he has looted.






(original entry)

Vig. 20b
Suddenly the rat noticed he wasn't alone on the island anymore.

Edited by SlyOwl, 05 November 2009 - 08:11 PM.

[Guss]

poor little rat... I think this man will be alone on this island soon :P nice entry ^^ but I don't really see the cruelty of pirates, maybe put an evil face to him and a knife in his hand.. it will show the cruelty there will be in a few moments ^^

anyway, I like your little island^^  

[Erdbeereis]

I like this very much!

The water and sand look great tiled like that, and the idea is quite funny!

One small improvement you could make is:

Like Guss said, there is nothing very evil about your MOC. I think the Pirate holding a knife and lunging toward the rat would be a nice touch.

Good work though!

[Zorro]

My opinion:
You have made a funny entry for the Pillage the Village Contest.
I think the line above states a lot.
Funny is good, but not if funny is all it is...after all it is called the Pillage the Village contest.
There is no cruelty involved in your nice MOC, so although it looks good (and funny), it is simply said UNSUITABLE for this contest.

I am truely sorry, but I think you don't have a chanche of winning a prize with this.
Do not give up, and try to create something that follows the rules, both the written rules as the silent rules ! (If you get what I mean...)

Possible improvements:
1) It has little purpose trying to bring improvements to something that is basically wrong.
Therefore I will post none but these(yet!):

FIRST: READ the rules and the threads that comes with it very carefully.

SECOND: change the "base" (not baseplate, your background is OK BTW) of your MOC, bring in cruelty and apply the other rules and hints.

THEN: repost another MOC in this thread, and I will do my very best to give you suggestions to make it better (if that would be possible )and, as I am certain, so will the others.

2) You could go with bringing in small improvements like Guss and Erdbeereis suggested, but I warn against it. Even with these and possibly other improvements, I do not think you can win THIS contest with it. But it is YOUR MOC, not mine...I only make humble suggestions.

I do not want to be harsh or negative, I only want to give you a helping hand because I think you haven't read the introductionary threads as you should have.
I can clearly see you have the skills that are required to make a winning entry, I wish you the best of luck !

(Boy, this was hard for me...)

Edited by zorro3999, 06 October 2008 - 08:42 PM.

[Mister Phes]

Simple yet effective!  Replace the titles with studded bricks and you'd almost have something that looked like a set.  

It kind of reminds me of 1889 Pirates Treasure Hold.

[SlyOwl]

I actually like this a lot.
Whilst there's no violence or outright action, the figure posing (and use of the Scabbers rat as opposed to the standard one) indicate that there will be some soon, either originating from the rat or the pirate. Furthermore, there's the whole story behind it - how did the pirate get there without the rat noticing? And how did the rat get there?

Regarding the actual MOC, replacing the bley base with a blue one would smooth it off, and the island could do with a little bit of height (maybe raise the palm tree one plate, and one of the 1x2 tiles next to it). A green or brown palm tree thingy instead of the black one would look a little better. The palm tree also looks a little tall; maybe remove 2 segments...
What's he holding in his other hand? Is it a knife? A photo from a few degrees to the left could help this, as it's a little confusing to me Could you do it against a blue background (or edit one in)? That could look great!

A subtle and sophisticated piece

[samthelegoman1]

It is a good MOC, but not to "Pillagey".  You know what I'm sayin?  A cooler idea would be to have two pirates on the island, facing each other, and the title reading: "This island ain't big enough for the both of us!"  Now that- would be funny and violent!

Edited by samthelegoman1, 06 October 2008 - 09:03 PM.

[Zorro]

samthelegoman1, on Oct 6 2008, 11:03 PM, said:

It is a good MOC, but not to "Pillagey".  You know what I'm sayin?  A cooler idea would be to have two pirates on the island, facing each other, and the title reading: "This island ain't big enough for the both of us!"  Now that- would be funny and violent!

I agree for 200% with samthelegoman1 about this statement.
Another possibility would be a pirate in the water swimming to the island where we find a shipwrecked imperial sitting with his back to the pirate (didn't hear him comming yet).

Or a bunch of sharks swimming around the island while the pirate sits in the tree   .

Edited by zorro3999, 06 October 2008 - 11:17 PM.

[Lego12]

I think that this entry is ok. It would be better if it were more gruesome. The rat is a nice touch. Maybe add a knife..or weapon of some sort. It seems too plain and it doesn't have enough action in it. You could mabe add another pirate or islander getting hung from the tree. You could also add a crab or bird.

Lego12

[Snake...SNAKE...SNAAAAKE?!]

i think this MOC isn't about being gory. I think it is a very, very good portrayal of how small the man on the island is.

[Gen. Knowledge]

Hello Rook,

This is a nice MOC, but if I wasn't paying attention to which website I was on, I would have thought this was an entry for the castaway contest.  I suggest starting over and saving this MOC for a castaway contest.  Sorry about the harshness of this reply, but I just don't feel this captures the intent of the contest.  It is a nice MOC though.


Tony

[Legoking]

Good job with your pirate entry Rook! I see you have created a small island effect. I like it. The expression on the pirates face says, "I don't want to be on this island at all." Just to make it better, you add a little rat. I like how you created the water and sand. Exellent! I am amazed how you fit all those this onto the little island including the palm tree. Is that a coconut that the pirate is holding? If so, mabye that is why the rat is looking at him in a funny way.

Suggestions.) I was looking at your MOC and saw that it mostly is a funny scene instead of a piraty, blooding/ robbing scene. Maybe you could add a pirate head floating in the water with blood following it. Remember, I am not trying to be a critic, I am just trying to help you with your MOC.

LegoKing

[CPT. Jr]

it sort of a saterical entry, i like it in its simplicty, however isin't the contest supposed to show the cruelty of pirates and such?

[Trexxen]

As many users have already told you, the most glaring flaw is that there's nothing going on. This contest was really designed for action scenes - pillaging, murdering, mutilating, rape (Ok, I'll give you that THAT may be a little too far...) - anything that shows just how determined the Pirates were to get their treasure.

A simple improvement would be either to have the Pirate attacking the rat, or better yet, to have him sort of "going mad" while holding a treasure map - in other words, he got his treasure, but at a cost; and he's taking it out on the rat. Other than that, the MOC itself is nice - but a bit of backstory is what we really need. From what I can see, it's just a pirate on an island. That's it - you've got the bones of the story, now add the meat. How did he get there? Why is he there? What is a rat doing on a deserted island hundreds of miles out into sea, and how is it still alive with barely even sand to eat? MOCs are great, and this one is no exception - but a story gives it the extra edge, you know?

~Trexxen

[Rook]

Thanks everyone for your comments and ideas. This is actually my first Pirate MOC ever. I was entering my dark ages when the pirate theme was started. So I went out and bought a pirate since I didn't even own any. If I don't win I wouldn't be surprised since I have never really built anything in this theme, a few medieval boats as a kid.  I thought the implied violence would be funny enough. Apparently not!   So I'll repost a new entry in the original post (If that's ok?) with plenty of obscene content.  

[Thomas B.]

Art thou serious? The MOC needs blood! Missing arms, legs... Something! At least you should put the rat in a pot on an open fire! And the put the rat's blood in the pot. I agree with Zorro,  re-read the rules!

[JimButcher]

Nice little entry, Rook, here's my opinion...

What's good:
The sand and water tiles are very attractive, and the coconut is a good use of a brown head. The way the rat is positioned makes it look innocent and scared, with the pirate staring at it.

What could be improved:
Like others have said before me, your entry doesn't really feel violent or piratey. Although you would lose that look of innocence in the mouse, it would be better if you had the pirate eating, stabbing, or doing any other cruel act to the mouse.

[Cameron_Talley]

While I like this MOC a lot, as has been said before, I don't think it fits the theme of the contest very well.  The easiest thing to do to improve it would be to replace the Pirate's coconut with a knife, implying that he's going to kill the rat for food.

However, overall I don't think this abides by the terms of the contest.  You might try integrating this scene into a larger work; it might provide some comic relief in a violent scene.

[Rook]

Original posted updated. I left the old entry in there at the bottom so the posts after it make sense. But the rat is no longer my offical entry. I hope that's ok. If not please PM me with instructions on how to proceed. Thanks Rook

[Guss]

wow, now that's cruel, that's bloody ,that perfectly fit in the theme   I liked your first entry I just missed the knife in the pirates end , but this one is better ( for this contest ) I think ^^

[Dragonator]

I love that new one, collecting heads is just so awesome! The blood, the use of skeleton heads further down, this is just great. I liked the previous one, that this one far outdoes it, especially since it has some mindless violence in it. I think you've done an excellent job on the choice of expressions for all the heads, especially the one being cut up by the pirate. The use of brown and frown planks gives a nice texture to the floor too. This is a great improvement, and I like it a lot. Well done, and good luck in the contest.

[Bob]

The new one is very nice. Silly pirates with there interesting obsessions. I like how you have all the other body parts lying around to. Plus the heads turn into skulls which is smart to. Very Nice and cruel.

[Lego12]

This is WAY better than the original! It is way more gruesome, better, and cooler! I see some nice designs. The arms, legs, heads are cruel! That is one cruel pirate! The rotting heads at the bottom of the pile is hilarious! It is a great entry! Well good luck in the contest!

[Erdbeereis]

While I liked your previous entry, this one is far better!
It's much more gruesome, but still retains the nice SNOT design. The way you made some heads skeletons to show decay is wonderful and I love the "collection container".

Great improvement Rook!

[Legoking]

Opinion
I see you have made some major changes and created a whole new MOC. You have made your entry much better than your first one. You changed the theme from stuck on an island to a pirate collecting villagers heads. I like how you thought of more gory and nasty things this time. You have added a good amount of blood, which is good. You tiled the floor with brown pieces. I like how the pirate is holding the villagers head while he is cutting it up and getting ready to add it to his collection. The bars that hold the heads are also very nice. In his head collection, I like how you made the ones at the top nomarl heads, but at the bottom, you have skeleton heads.

Possible Improvements

1) You could add a description on what is going on in the picture.

2) You could add another picture looking down at his head collection.

Not much else to say.

Overall- You have made some major improvements and your new MOC is much better than your old MOC. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing