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The Curse of IMHOTEP - Day One


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#1 Pandora

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:00 PM

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Morning progresses.  The statue is quiescent.


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The industrious party realise they cannot at present escape the valley, and so set up a camp upon the valley floor.


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Melaena scans the barren canyon for poetic inspiration, or possibly for ducks.  Hans Gubernaculum is so distressed he inexplicably starts writing poetry too.


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Men make fire.  Mehmet attends to breakfast for the group.  'Won't anyone suck my balls?  My spicy scorpion balls, freshly made this morning?'


Meanwhile, Ossie and Is are busy gardening and talking.

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'Do you think they've listened to everything we've said?'

'Well they must have had some thoughts when they signed up for this expedition.'


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The knowledge that they are trapped has driven all thoughts of research and archaeology even from the minds of the scholars.  Pushy New Yoiker Sheila Suxsumb is the first to speak up.

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'Whadda we supposed to do?'

Roger Goodenarde cuts in, 'Yes, my good man, what the dickens is all this about?'

'Eins, zwei, drei, vier, how do we get out of here?' asks Hans.

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'STOP THAT!' cries the rest of the group.  'You're an Archaeologist, not a poet, for crying out loud.'

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'I cannot remain here for ever.  Mother expects me home,' says Ahmed Apu.

Aloysius chimes in, 'Yes, Ahmed Apu.  Talking of which - Nadir, I require your services again.'


Is sighs and turns to the crowd.

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'There is evil among you that has awakened the Dark Side of IMHOTEP and the Curse has befallen you.  His power is great and controls the very living rocks of this valley.  He demands sacrifice.  He will not let you leave unless you can break that curse by ridding your group of the evil within.   But be warned - his Dark Side demands specific sacrifice too.'

'You, as a group, must choose who among you will be sacrificed.  Each day, you will have time to discuss who you think are the evil ones among you, and then you must choose.   You must feed the most popular choice to IMHOTEP.'

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'A sacrifice must be made by sundown.'



The Rules

  • Each player will be given a character to play, who will be aligned with either the Innocents or the Cultists. To win the game, the Innocents must kill off all the Cultists, while the Cultists need to     Any Third-Party (neutral) characters will have their own win conditions outlined in their roles.

  • Each day you will be able to vote to lynch a player. Voting should be done in the following format; Vote: Character (Player). Similarly, unvoting is to be done in the format; Unvote: Character (Player). No other format will be accepted.  There is no limit to the number of unvotes. The player with the most votes at the end of a game day will be lynched. If there is a tie then the first player to achieve this vote count will be lynched.

  • A game day will last a maximum of 72 hours. You may not vote in the first 24 hours. The day will end after 72 hours, unless the group are decided on a lynch*. After the day has concluded, a night stage will commence, which will last a maximum of 48 hours. Night actions must be sent to the host, using the initial character PM thread only, in the first 24 hours of the night stage.  They will not be accepted after this deadline has passed.

    *If it is clear that a decision has been made by the group and there is an extended period of inactivity in the day thread then we might close the day early, however we will give warning.

  • The alignment of lynched players, as well as those that died during the night, will be revealed at the beginning of the next day.  

  • You may not quote or pretend to quote anything sent to you by the game hosts via PM. This includes all the details of your character and role, as well as any night action results. Role claims and reporting of night action results are acceptable, but in your own words only. Do not attempt to use the structure of your role PM to your advantage.

  • Do not play the game outside the thread. Similarly, do not post out of character inside the thread. Game tactics and roles may only be discussed in the game thread or via PM with other players. Private discussion is done at your own risk and should be treated as part of the game. Any reference to previous games or “games... of life”, potatoes, books that people may have read, and films or plays that people may have seen will be treated most harshly. :tongue:

  • If you are dead, you may not post in thread or discuss the game with any of the players. Any information you had becomes void, and may not be passed on.

  • You may not edit your posts.  

  • You must post in every day thread.  

  • If you encounter a problem or have a question, please contact the hosts using your character information PM.  No other communication with the hosts will be accepted or acknowledged.

  • Violation of the above rules will result in a 5 vote penalty against you on your first offence, and the death of your character on your second offence.

The Players

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The Great God IMHOTEP (NPC)
Do not upset him.  Address him correctly or face the consequences.  You have been warned.

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The Guardians – Ossie and Is (Rufus and Pandora - NPCs)
They are a young couple who appear to live as hermits in the middle of the Egyptian desert.  Whilst not unwelcoming to the expedition party, they still very much value their “alone time” for….. playing scrabble and whatnot.

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Sheila Suxsumb - Played by Tamamono
Sheila is a curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York city and is a world - renowned expert in ancient Egyptian artefacts.  A hard-nosed New Yorker, and a woman flying high in a man’s world, Sheila speaks as she finds and gets what she wants.  She’s tentatively starting a relationship with her assistant, Johnson, but she’s not ready to take his Cox yet.

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Johnson Cox - Played by Cecilie
Johnson is Ms Suxsumb’s assistant from the New York Met and he himself is becoming well know in the field of translation and interpretation of hieroglyphs.  He hails originally from the deep south, Louisiana to be exact, and so tends to be more laid back than his boss from the Big Apple.  He’s just starting a relationship with his boss, Sheila, and one day hopes to make her Suxsumb-Cox.

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Ophelia Balls - Played by fhomess
Ophelia is a member of the Royal Geographic Society in London, and is present on this expedition as a Mineralogist.  She is a shy and retiring, somewhat sweet girl, know to be very studious in her nature.  She produces report after report on clays and crystals, that while being completely ahead of their time in research, sadly no-one ever reads.

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Hans Gubernaculum - Played by badboytje88
Hans is a Professor of Egyptology at the Aegyptisches Museum in Berlin.  He is one of the leading lights in ancient Egyptian architecture and has previously discovered numerous fruitful sites for archaeological digs.  Unexpectedly he is exact and precise in all that he does, and he abhors sloppiness and untidiness.

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Melaena Stools - Played by CallMePie
Melaena is a poet who has accompanied the party in hopes of finding inspiration for her flowery and insipid verses.  She is forever an optimist, and her lack of creative skill is surpassed only by her complete absence of insight into her own inability to produce anything displaying a mote of talent.  She is a friendly and happy person who believes people adore her and her poems.

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Mellifluous Murgatroyd - Played by Scubacarrot
Mellifluous is a journalist for the Edinburgh Times, here to report first hand on the great discoveries that may be made during the expedition.  She’s sweet, yet determined, and often uses her honeyed words to get her own way.  Her articles are often more sensational than they are factual, and thus they garner a lot of attention worldwide.

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Jennifer Taylor - Played by Sandy
Jenny is a seasoned explorer and treasure hunter.  She travels the world in search of artefacts to sell on to museums for the highest price possible.  When she heard about this expedition, she knew she had to be a part of it.  She has a shapely figure and often uses this to her advantage.  She has treasure in her chest.

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Nicholas Hoare - Played by Fugazi
Nicholas is a young man with a bit of family wealth behind him who fancies himself as an adventurer.  Despite being socially awkward, his dream was to join the expedition, find some valuable artefacts and return home with enough stories of derring-do to impress the girls.  One day, one of them might listen...

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Penelope Farago - Played by Waterbrick Down
Penny is a serious scholar of Egyptian art who originates from Pisa in Italy, but currently works at the Musée du Louvre in Paris.  She is passionate about art, and Egyptian art in particular, and has devoted much of her life to its study and appreciation.  Despite her serious nature, she dresses somewhat flamboyantly and is known to be very descriptive in her language.

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Betty Swallocks - Played by TinyPies
Betty thought she was going on holiday to the south of France, but somehow ended up here.  She has no idea what archaeology even means, let alone where Egypt is.  She often gets confused or muddles things up and wanders around in her own little world.

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Roger Goodenarde - Played by Professor Flitwick
Roger is really just here for a bally good time, what, what.  He’s an ineffectual ex-army Captain who had to give up the soldier’s life after taking a bullet in the knee.  In the army he was known to be rather oblivious to all going on around him and despite thinking he was entirely in control of his regiment, in fact his long-suffering Lieutenant had to devote considerable effort to ensure the Captain didn’t mistakenly tap his pipe out on an unexploded bomb.

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Patrick Fitzwilliam - Played by def
Patrick is well renowned for his ability to organise expeditions and he was the natural choice when the leading lights of Egyptology declared an interest in exploring this part of the desert.  Having organised so many expeditions before, he is rugged, dashing and masterful, and knows how to get his hands on the things he needs, by whatever means necessary.

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William Fitzpatrick - Played by CorneliusMurdock
It would be foolish to venture into the wilds of the desert without someone who knows how to handle the business end of a weapon.  That someone is William Fitzpatrick; skilled as a big game hunter, he’s here to tackle any aggressive creatures of the desert, or handle trouble with the locals.  He’s loud, brash and aggressive, but on Friday nights he might have been spotted in the Pink Pussycat Club in Berlin wearing not much more than a feather boa and a pair of high-heels.

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Hugh Janus - Played by Eskallon
Hugh is the long-suffering Lieutenant who served under Captain Goodenarde.  A military career composed of numerous close shaves thanks to his Captain’s ineptitude have wrought this poor man’s nerves, leaving him a gibbering shell of his former self.  Where Captain Goodenarde goes, Lieutenant Janus knows he must follow.  And be on the lookout for trouble.

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Aloysius - Played by ADHO15
Aloysius is a camel.  A talking camel.  No, really, they exist.  Aloysius has been carting other people’s stuff around the desert for more years than he can remember, but it gets him out into the fresh air and allows him to meet people and show off his collection of hats.  He doesn’t usually let on that he’s a talking camel, but in these unusual circumstances he has no choice but to speak up and make himself heard.

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Gordon Bennett - Played by KielDaMan
Gordon is the engineer of the group and works hard to keep any and all of the transported equipment finely tuned.  He’s found the best way to fine tune machinery is to cover it in oil and then hit it a lot.  As a result he, and everything around him, tends to end up messy.  This isn’t helped by his tendency to be a little “oily” with the ladies and has earned him a slapped face on a number of occasions.

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Toulouse Leplot - Played by WhiteFang
Toulouse is Ms Farago’s assistant from the Musee du Louvre and is almost as passionate about art as she is.  He would be considerably more passionate about it if she didn’t keep sending him out for croissants and cream cakes every few hours.  He works hard and spends his time relaxing by playing the violin.  Unfortunately his boss’s opinion of his violin playing is that a strangled cat would be more musical and so he has not brought his violin with him.  As a result, he is often tense and somewhat irritable.

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Percy Pantwitter - Played by Rick
Percy is also a well known scholar of Egyptology at the Aegyptisches Museum in Berlin, and is forever in the shadow of the great Hans Gubernaculum.  He is a petty man who delights in small victories, for instance snagging the last sausage at breakfast, but he is devoted to his studies and always strives to better himself.

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Father Thomas “Tomato” Thomson - Played by Ricecracker
Fr Thomas Thomson is a missionary minister who has been called “Tomato” since a young age thanks to his shock of bright red hair and the unimaginative way his parents named him.  Apparently, this doesn’t bother him, and he will protest as much often and repeatedly to anyone who’ll listen.  He accompanies the group in the hopes of preaching and converting others to his faith.

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Mehmet Attabar - Played by Hinckley
Mehmet is an expert cook and knows how to make the supplies last a long way.  His signature dish, Spicy Scorpion Fritters has fast become a favourite of the group’s, probably because they think it’s chicken.  Like most cooks, he’s a big jolly man, often seen with a cleaver in his hand.

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Ishaq Ettaq - Played by Wuntin
Ishaq is a suave and cool guy, who’s dealt with explorers on a number of occasions in other parts of his Egypt.   He’s a warm and friendly person, but he sure knows how to squeeze the most cash out of these crazy Westerners.  That said, he’ll do anything for the right price.

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Mustafa Nidia - Played by Brickdoctor
Mustafa is a beaurocrat from the Egyptian Ministry for the Interior.  He usually sits behind a desk in an air-conditioned office filling out forms.  He is here to oversee the expedition, at least that’s how he sees it.  The rest of the group view him as officious and self-important and little more than a pen-pusher.  His job is to ensure that no artefacts are removed from the dig without the correct accompanying documentation.  In triplicate.

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Ahmed Apu - Played by Zepher
Ahmed is an adolescent from the local village who is looking for some honest work.  He’s happy to fetch and carry for the good rates that Ishaq Ettaq has secured for the locals.  He carries heavy loads with ease, and wonders why on earth this lot can’t just carry it themselves.  He’s happy to be part of such a colourful group of people, despite his inexplicable hatred of the colour pink.

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Nadir Zenith - Played by JimButcher
Nadir is a very serious man.  He takes his responsibilities seriously, including mucking out the camel.  He is depressingly pessimistic about everything around him, and has the most irritating habit of always referring to himself in the third person.


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#2 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:09 PM

View PostPandora, on 08 January 2012 - 08:00 PM, said:

  But be warned - his Dark Side demands specific sacrifice too.'
*huh* Excuse me, Is, which is also a verb. Can you elaborate of his Dark Side and what specific sacrifices he would demand?

If you know so much, can't you just tell us who's evil and toss them in his mouth? :grin:

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#3 JimBee

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:16 PM

Wau-wa-wi-wah! A sacrifice? Well of course this is the time where we sit around waiting for something to happen. Not Nadir, though. Nadir will do his job.

Now come here, Aloysius. Do me a favor and don't eat that applesauce, okay? Good thing I came well-stocked with FiberOne bars.

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#4 Fugazi

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:18 PM

View PostPandora, on 08 January 2012 - 08:00 PM, said:

The Rules

  • Each player will be given a character to play, who will be aligned with either the Innocents or the Cultists. To win the game, the Innocents must kill off all the Cultists, while the Cultists need to Any Third-Party (neutral) characters will have their own win conditions outlined in their roles.
So what exactly are we supposed to prevent the Cultists from doing? Outnumber us, I presume?
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#5 Sandy

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:19 PM

Oh my, this is quite the pickle we've gotten ourselves into! Now we must choose someone to sacrifice to this stone statue? I hope you forgive my incredulousness, but I guess we have no choice but to trust the word of this strange couple. Growing a lawn in the middle of a desert, that's quite an accomplishment...

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#6 CallMePie

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:20 PM

Ooh, so we have evil cultists trying to feed us to talking rock? This stuff seems to write itself!  :sweet:

Imhotep was a giant rock
this canyon's a giant lock
He needs to eat
Though he has no feet


And...um...I don't think poems are supposed to be longer than 4 lines. So that'll do.  :classic: Unless somebody's found the ducks?

Well, okay. So the cultheads need to feed Imhotep some of us, and we need to feed him some of them? Do you mind telling us how hungry he is?
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#7 Professor Flitwick

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:21 PM

Phwa? A sacrifice? Made many a sacrifice in the field of battle, dontcha know! I still remember, in the Mboto Gorge, sending all those men to what might've been their deaths, but in the end, we reined supreme over the primitive pygmies! You know, Lieutenant, I still remember how you saved my life from that woman with the sharp slice of mango... where was I? Oh, yes, sacrifice, talli ho!

I'm Agnostic and ambivalent about it.

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#8 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:21 PM

View PostFugazi, on 08 January 2012 - 08:18 PM, said:

So what exactly are we supposed to prevent the Cultists from doing? Outnumber us, I presume?
Stupid hoare. Can't you read? We need to any them. Noob. :hmpf:

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#9 Rick

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:23 PM

View PostHinckley, on 08 January 2012 - 08:09 PM, said:

If you know so much, can't you just tell us who's evil and toss them in his mouth? :grin:
How about some tossing some scorpion balls this way? I'm getting hungry.

Hmmm, cultists, eh? As if it isn't difficult enough to find them amongst us, we also have to figure out what specific kind of sacrifice IMHOTEP's Dark Side demands?  :sceptic:  ... or else?  :look:

View PostSandy, on 08 January 2012 - 08:19 PM, said:

Growing a lawn in the middle of a desert, that's quite an accomplishment...
I envy their gardening tools too. :grin:

#10 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:24 PM

Oh Yippee. I read too fast. I meant they need to any us. :hmpf: Well, I've put my head on the chopping block rather quickly, haven't I? :blush: Simple mistake there, guys. Please don't kill me over it.

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#11 CallMePie

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:34 PM

*huh* Damn, Percy, you should button up that shirt. That is one discolored sunburn! And, er...do something about those eyes, too. They're freaking me out.... :look:

Okay, so obviously we need to find the protector to shield us from the anys the cultists are trying to commit. Has anyone ever been anyed before? It sounds painful...
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#12 Fugazi

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:37 PM

View PostHinckley, on 08 January 2012 - 08:24 PM, said:

Oh Yippee. I read too fast. I meant they need to any us. :hmpf: Well, I've put my head on the chopping block rather quickly, haven't I? :blush: Simple mistake there, guys. Please don't kill me over it.
:devil: Ha! No way that we're going to let you Back Siders any us. :angry: Any of us. Anyhow. That's such a nasty thing to do.
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#13 CorneliusMurdock

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:39 PM

Has anyone seen my feather boa?  I mean, *cough*, has anyone seen my feather, um, lion snare?  I think one of those evil fiends must have stolen it during that sandstorm.  I hope they don't intend to sacrifice it.  It's ever so soft and cuddly...

I just noticed your nice new hat, Aloysius.  Are you assisting Mehmet with the cooking chores today?

Really, we need to find out what these Cultists want so we can prevent them from getting it.  While killing them off, of course.

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#14 Rick

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:41 PM

View PostCallMePieOrDie, on 08 January 2012 - 08:34 PM, said:

*huh* Damn, Percy, you should button up that shirt. That is one discolored sunburn!
Uhm... that used to be a perfectly white shirt until you washed it together with that vest of yours, remember? :hmpf_bad:  And are those scorpion balls nearly done Mr. Attabar? :drool:

#15 Sandy

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:41 PM

Oh me oh my! Are we going to be any'ed?! I'm sure it will not be good for my luscious hair... :sad:

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#16 Brickdoctor

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:43 PM

It certainly is strange that we aren't told what the goal of the Cutists is, but I don't see how that concerns us. :sceptic: Our goal is quite clear: kill all the Cultists.

#17 CallMePie

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:43 PM

View PostRick, on 08 January 2012 - 08:41 PM, said:

Uhm... that used to be a perfectly white shirt until you washed it together with that vest of yours, remember? :hmpf_bad:  And are those scorpion balls nearly done Mr. Attabar? :drool:

I had to wash it! Somebody got applesauce all over it.  :hmpf: Or, well, maybe that was just spicy scorpion grease...
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#18 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:49 PM

I have lived in the harsh desert for a long time. My whole family was any'ed by cultists when I was just a wee boy. Oh, that made my wee times so harsh and difficult. :cry_sad:

Oh, we're in luck! The Cultists only need to any Third-party roles to win! We're safe. :grin:

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#19 Scubacarrot

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 08:55 PM

Pulls out notebook.

Cultists? Dark side? The masses will LOVE this! Oooh, when I publish this, I will be the most famous reporter in all of Scotland! My name, Mellifluous Murgatroyd, will be on everyone's lips!

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#20 Waterbrick Down

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:01 PM

IMHOTEP eh? I knew I should have paid more attention during my Egyptian Mythology class. Toulouse skip the eclairs, how is breakfast coming Mr. Attabar?

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#21 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:09 PM

This probably isn't necessary but just in case, here's the wiki entry for Imhotep. What, you don't think we have internet stranded in the desert? The talking camel's ass is a wifi hotspot and his nards are a laptop.

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#22 Zepher

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:13 PM

Oh phooey.  I'm stuck with you lot?!  A for what?  A bit of pay.  This is despicable.

What color is that feather boa?   :sick:  I hope it's not the color I think it is.  And I can't eat Scorpions, the stomach gets queasy.  Does anyone have a kit kat bar?

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#23 CallMePie

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:14 PM

View PostHinckley, on 08 January 2012 - 09:09 PM, said:

This probably isn't necessary but just in case, here's the wiki entry for Imhotep. What, you don't think we have internet stranded in the desert? The talking camel's megablocks is a wifi hotspot and his nards are a laptop.

What the hell is an internet?  :wacko: Did you get into the bourbon again? How are you going to make your marinated scarab legs now???
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#24 Hinckley

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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:20 PM

View PostCallMePieOrDie, on 08 January 2012 - 09:14 PM, said:

What the hell is an internet?  :wacko:
I don't know. Why? What year is it supposed to be? :look:

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#25 Scubacarrot

Scubacarrot

  • Completely Lame


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Posted 08 January 2012 - 09:22 PM

View PostHinckley, on 08 January 2012 - 09:20 PM, said:

I don't know. Why? What year is it supposed to be? :look:


It's 1936, the egyptian education system must be terrible! Instead they feed you people nonsense about Internets... Pfff!

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