18 replies to this topic

[Legoking]

Vig. 26d

Updated

Welcome to my first pirate MOC. I have put a lot of effort into my MOC. So here we go!

The Imperial Armada has created a secret base on an island called Kuwaka. The pirates have interrupted the plans of the Imperial Armada and have unleashed a secret attack on the Imperial Armada. Now the Imperial Armada must fight back with all they've got and try to defeat the pirates.

Overview


Imperial Armada vs. Pirate

Here, an Imperial guard and pirate are fighting to the death. Who will win the fight?

Skeleton Pirate

This is a dead pirate that tried to take the Imperial Armada down with his other friend that is hanging by the chains, but they have failed.




This picture shows an Imperial officer that has been buried by the pirates not to long ago.

Well, that’s it for my contest entry. I hoped you liked it.
Please leave constructive feedback and tell me what you think of my MOC.

LegoKing
Brickshelf
Updated Brickshelf PTV

Edited by SlyOwl, 05 November 2009 - 08:17 PM.

[Erdbeereis]

Nice entry LegoKing! You have many nice elements in your MOC that, when refined a bit, can combine to make a fantastic MOC!

Here are a few improvements you could make:

1) It's a bit hard to distinguish the sand from the water, as they are on the same level. I would recommend having the sand a brick or so higher than the water for a good contrast. You could perhaps add yellow slopes where you want the sand to start and build from there, like you did where the tree is.

2) I can't say I'm too fond of your tree, because it has so many different plant parts in it. I think it would look better to have just one sort of leaf.

3) The buried head is a great idea, but might look better if you had some 1 x 1 plates stacked around it, to give it more of a buried look.
I'm not sure how this would look though, as it might seem a bit unnatural.

4) Your little fort is very nice, but would look even better with some grey tiles on the top for a smoother look.

5) The head floating in the water seems too cheerful with that big smile on his face. I would maybe use a more angry/gruesome head.


You have the makings of a great entry that could turn out even better with a few improvements.
Nice work and good luck in the contest!

[JimButcher]

Pretty good, entry, LegoKing.

What I like:
The whole hectic look is great, and pretty good job on representing that. The shark biting into the body is also good (more on that later). Your stone wall and grass area are well built, and the pirate vs. Imperial is an interesting duel.

What could be improved:
Like Strawberry said, the tree has too many different parts. If you take off the shrub and seaweed, then use one of the tree pieces, it would look a lot better. Also, the left gaurd looks like he's a statue, just standing there with his gun right in between the duel. So, perhaps you should consider moving him so he looks like he's actually doing something to aid the fight. The shark eating the person is good, but the head just looks too artificial. Some ways you could improve this are to use a different head, put the head on it's side, and/or put more body parts around. The red propeller doesn't seem to have any purpose, as it doesn't really look like blood.

Overall, your entry is good, but it could be better. Good luck on the contest!

[Ye Olde Pirate]

It's very good.

Edited by Ye Olde Pirate, 15 October 2008 - 01:41 AM.

[Tacitus]

I tend to agree with the other comments, although I do like the tree as it is.  It reminds me of the tropics after a storm.  In particular, I would say that there needs to be more of s sense of dimension and depth to the layout.  Raise the beach up a bit so that it rises out of the water.  Also, the troops need to have more movement.  They are too "stiff" as another has already written.  I think I would remove the guy rowing the box, and replace him with a figure who is waste deep in the water, either battling the shark, or rising up from the water to storm the beach... but this scene is your story to tell, so never-you-mind that.

Still, looks good.

[Guss]

nice entry ^^ I agree that it needs to have some "dimension" by raising the island part up, but it anyway looks good like this

good luck with the contest ! ^^

[Captain Zuloo]

I think your MOC could benefit from SNOT water. I like the idea, but change the story, as that isn't a very secret hideout!
Good luck!

Edited by Captain Zuloo, 15 October 2008 - 08:19 AM.

[Zorro]

My opinion:

Nice little MOC you made here, make some small improvements and I think you are ready for the contest.

Possible improvements:

There is not very much left for me to tell since Erdbeereis1 told the most already. DO know I agree with him with all except for the tree: I really like your tree! I think it even deserves a   !

1) Do you have better heads for your minifigs? These are all so "standard".

2) Let your minifigs use their limbs: make them run, scream, fight, fall down... Most of your minifigs are just standing there, holding something and looking straight forward (also see point 1).

3) Don't say "Imperial armada" too often. It gets a bit annoying to always read the same words.

Quote

The red propeller doesn't seem to have any purpose, as it doesn't really look like blood.

That would be an epaulette .

Edited by zorro3999, 17 October 2008 - 11:39 PM.

[Adam]

You've created a very nicely built entry, but I'd like to point out some issues that may prove as a learning experience. I don't mean to be rude with these comments, for I'm just trying to give you some advice.

1. I think that the chained skeleton should have some clothing (such as a hat) to convey which side he is on- the soldiers or the pirates.

2. That same skeleton would look better if he had a regular skeleton face, like other dead pirate with coins all over him.

3. Place yellow tiles atop the yellow plates to fix the sand problem.

4. Yes, as Strawberry has said, put some tiles on the great little fort. Light grey, brown, or dark grey, I think, would look best- mainly the greys.

5. The red epaulette in the water probably should be put on someone or removed. Perhaps it could go on the bottom of the head in the water (once you change it to an angry one)?

6. You might want to remove the wave aspects of the water.

7. Choose one or two types of foliage for the tree- not four.

Other than that, this is a very good MOC!

[Legoking]

Thank you all for your opinion. I will fix my MOC and upload the pictures tomarrow.

[Captain Zuloo]

LegoKing, on Oct 17 2008, 08:40 AM, said:

Thank you all for your opinion. I will fix my MOC and upload the pictures tomarrow.

I look foward to it. Just be sure to upload incorrect sizes so it gets disqualified and can't beat me nearly-finnished medium entry!

[Legoking]

Captain Zuloo, on Oct 17 2008, 09:02 AM, said:

I look foward to it. Just be sure to upload incorrect sizes so it gets disqualified and can't beat me nearly-finnished medium entry!

That is very funny Captain Zuloo. I will be sure I do that.

[Legoking]

I am running a little behind so the new pictures will be uploaded saturday. sorry

[DarthPineapple]

I love the chaos in here. The pirates storming the beach. Great. Your tree looks odd and could use some work. You could use only 1 kind if leaf.

[Legoking]

I have updated my MOC. These are the things I have changed: I have made the beach a level higher than the water, tiled the water, switched skeletons, moved the sitting Imperial guard, put some sand around the buried officer, changed the leafs on the tree, changed a lot of the minifig faces, added some more waves, took some pieces out and put some tiling on the Imperial Fort.
I would like to thank all of you for your input, but I would especially like to thank: Erdbeereis1, JimButcher, zorro3999 and Adam. I hope you liked my updated MOC!

LegoKing

[Guss]

that look way better now! the improvement you did are great ^^ I don't really like the pieces you used to make waves, I think that by just remove it, it will looks nice! and then it ll be really really nice! well.. that's just my opinion ^^

[Legoking]

Guss, on Oct 18 2008, 08:39 PM, said:

that look way better now! the improvement you did are great ^^ I don't really like the pieces you used to make waves, I think that by just remove it, it will looks nice! and then it ll be really really nice! well.. that's just my opinion ^^

Thank you for your opinion Guss. Yeah, about the waves, I just wanted to see how everyone liked them and what their opinion would be about them.

[admiral marcel]

its really good

[admiral marcel]