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32 replies to this topic  – Started by Admiral Ron , Oct 05 2009 09:24 PM

#1 Admiral Ron

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 09:24 PM

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The Admiral is attempting to bribe a member of Parliament.
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"An excellent gem, your offer seems lucrative after all"
"Just remember your side of the deal"

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A bluecoat spy? an informer payed by Parliament? or a redcoat trying to do the right thing?

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By the way, that is an armchair behind him :)

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Edited by SlyOwl, 02 December 2009 - 09:35 PM.

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong." Godfrey of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

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#2 Captain Blackmoor

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 09:57 PM

Bribing the government aye? :pir_laugh2:
I like it thus far, but there are some things which could be improved. So here we go!

- Paper money didn't exist in the time of pirates, perhaps some coins or gems are better.
- Instead of the prefab castle walls try to make a decent wall with some nice detail in it. A window for example.
- I notice a black thing beneath the turkey leg, I don't know what it is but it looks a bit strange to me.
- A nice lamp at the ceiling would be nice too.
- A square roof that matches the 8x8 plate below.

Good luck at the contest!  :shark:

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#3 MetroiD

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 11:06 PM

Ron, I don't want to sound negative, but this entry is perhaps a tad bit too reminiscent of Vladimir Leonov's Peace Treaty, don't you think?

In order to enhance the originality of this one, I would suggest a different setting for your otherwise cool idea. If it is a member of the parliament that is being bribed, then why don't you have the minifigs situated in a parliament house for example, as opposed to a fort? That way, you could also make use of specific items which we would probably only see in your MOC - a great way to make it stand out!

Furthermore, even though your idea is nice, I believe it needs something to be added to it in order to really fullfil its potential. The way I see things now, you could as well be having that minifig paying the other one off for some meat and a random map... Politics would hardly come to mind by the looks of the scene. I would suggest following Cap'n Blackmoor's idea and using a treasure chest with actual coins as the bribe - it would look much more lucrative and by combining it with the proper expression/face on the bribing minifig's face, it could have a great effect. As to what precisely the bribe is about - you could retain the map since those were quite important back in the days of piracy, just try to build on that a little bit, so that its value is really comprehended.

Last but not least, you could try improving the quality of your photos since for the most part they are rather blurry. If your camera has an option for close-up shots, you might want to use that - otherwise, you could just try to take the picture from a bit further off, so that the details come out a bit clearer. Using proper lighting could also greatly enhance the visibility of the lower floor - even though it is not too covered up or dark.

Good luck in the contest :)
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#4 Admiral Ron

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 11:09 PM

Oh dear! I didnt even know about the existence of that vig! Ok, I will begin a new construction, perhaps in an office, or somewhere else. Thanks for all the input!
When I rebuild this one, should I remove this thread? or just add it at the bottom?

Edited by Admiral Ron, 05 October 2009 - 11:10 PM.

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong." Godfrey of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

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#5 MetroiD

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Posted 05 October 2009 - 11:40 PM

That's the good thing about input Ron  :pir-tongue:  I never said you copied it or anything, I just think that your idea is original enough for you to add your very own and instantly recognizable unique twist to it   :pir-classic:

As to uploading - you can just edit your first post when you're done with updating the vignette! Have fun and let those creative energies flow :)

Oh, and I just had a notion - the East India Company had quite a reputation for bribing government officials back in the day... You could draw some creative inspiration from the stories about them! Good luck mate :)
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#6 The Alchemyst

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 12:43 AM

A simple small entry.

I'd change the bottom flooring to smooth tiles, just to get a better look.

The photography is tilted and slightly blurry. If you haven't already, join The Reviewer's Academy here on EB. They have some really great tutorials on Photo Taking.  :pir-classic:

The outer wall is a little plain. The fish also looks a bit out of place. If you're going to keep the fish, I'd add some more detailing throughout. A mixed shade of grays to get a rocky tone going could work. The black from the tiles definitely stand out, and not in a good way. Instead of using 2x2 plates near the end, try using 1x2s there so the black doesn't show up in the walls.

I do like the minifigs. The grin on the Parliament member is slightly evil looking and fitting.

I'm not sure if I like the chicken leg on the table. It's covering the map/document and looks kind of silly  :pir_wacko: .

Overall, I like the idea, it's unique, but the execution and photography could be better. Work on it! :thumbup:

Good Luck!

EDIT: And yea, it reminded me of Vlad's entry as well. :P

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Edited by The Alchemyst, 06 October 2009 - 12:44 AM.

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#7 Admiral Ron

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 11:31 PM

Thanks for all the input, please tell me how to make my second version better!
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#8 Bricknave

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 12:35 AM

The second version looks absolutely magnificent!  I admire the sophisticated techniques you used to construct the chandelier and windows!  I also admire the checkered floor!    :pir-classic:

My only dislike about this vignette is very tiny; I dislike the yellow gem being next to the pink gem, as the yellow gem is very bland in color.  I would prefer a sapphire being next the the pink gem.  Although, this one little suggestion is possible to do without.

Edited by Bricknave, 07 October 2009 - 12:36 AM.

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#9 MetroiD

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 01:05 AM

A wonderful improvement there, Ron!

The chandelier is a brilliant idea - my only suggestion is that you could try and add something reminiscent of candles to it, so that it looks more like a 16th century chandelier - after all, they didn't have electricity back then and gas lamps were used mostly outside the houses... So adding a couple of round trans-yellow cones (Peeron's having troubles again :/) could help give it a more authentic look. Which brings me to another idea regarding your lovely MOC - why don't your tamper with the lighting a bit in order to give it a darker, gloomier look? If you do put candles on that chandelier, you could afterwards use some simple photo editing tool to "add" lighting effects to those and then leave the rest of the room a bit darker - that might give this one an even stronger feel.
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#10 Admiral Ron

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 01:12 AM

Hm... thats a good idea, I should try that, i just need to figure out how to make a lighting effect, any ideas? Because the only photo editing thing i have is microsoft picture express it or something by that near name.

Edited by Admiral Ron, 07 October 2009 - 01:18 AM.

"Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong." Godfrey of Ibelin, Kingdom of Heaven

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#11 MetroiD

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 09:05 AM

Hmmm, in that case perhaps you should leave it as it is (after the inclusion of candles, that is  :pir_laugh2: ), in order to avoid having to deal with new software... Otherwise, I would recommend Corel PhotoPaint or Adobe PhotoShop for photo editing - you COULD however use a bunch of other photo management programs, such as for example ACDSee, that also offer the option to add basic effects to your photos.

In any case, this one looks very nice already :)
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#12 badboytje88

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 02:25 PM

A nice idea and a nice MOC, there are some things I'd change:
- The walls don't need te be grey. Most imperial officers and admerals were quite rich. Their office would have very expencive wallpaper. If you were to stick with the grey castle wall, then I'd only change the colour. You used dark grey and grey. I'd pick one of these colours instead of both.
- I would change the colour of the fences you used as window. Just to add a little colour and suggest that they are made of wood in stead of bricks. Since the brick wall is grey and the window shutters are grey, this to me suggest them being made of the same material (hope you understand what I'm trying to say)
- I like the addition of a chandelier, but this one looks a bit to modern for my taste

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#13 Hound Knight

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 08:24 PM

Interesting entry, it's not something I would've thought to do.  :thumbup:

View PostCaptain Blackmoor, on Oct 5 2009, 05:57 PM, said:

- Paper money didn't exist in the time of pirates, perhaps some coins or gems are better.
Actually the British started using paper money during the Napoleonic wars (according to the Hornblower books anyway).
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#14 Admiral Ron

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 09:19 PM

I will begin my 3rd attempt soon, I just need to scrounge some bright bricks for the walls, thanks again for all the input!
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#15 MetroiD

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Posted 07 October 2009 - 11:15 PM

Yet another great improvement from you - great job, you seem to be progressing in leaps and bounds here :) I'm happy to see you included some actual candles on top of the chandelier - and that magnifying lens looks brilliant! The walls are also looking very nice now - not overly colourful or too plain, just perfect. The only thing which I believe could still be improved is the top of the vig - you could perhaps try and build an actual roof? Or include a second story (storie AND story? :pir-tongue: ) In any case, I must admit that to me those two big plates just don't look good enough there and kinda ruin the whole great impression of the vig. If you have the bricks for that, you could include a second (smaller) scene on the 2. floor or you could just come up with some kind of catchy roof structure...
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#16 badboytje88

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:09 PM

I'm so glad you listened to the imput you were given. The changes you made really improved your MOC!

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#17 The Alchemyst

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 08:43 PM

Mmm, Red room, good smooth tiling and clean cut pictures, a huge amount of changes [and well done changes, in my opinion] from the first one.  :pir-classic:

I wish you could do some ornamentation on the roof as much as you did with the interior. Maybe some fancy statuettes on the edge or one on the corner of the building. It might be too much though and move attention away from what's important here. Maybe a simple balcony?

I really like the chandelier. The colors and the execution is simple, but it works. I think the ceiling should be a brick or two higher, I'm not sure though. Everything seems a little cramped, especially with how large the chandelier is.

The minifigs are better from the first version, seeing how you updated the Torso to fit the modern theme.

The treasure chest was a nice touch, showing the greed loud and clear in the first picture.

I'm not sure if I like the window. It think some of the Rounded Windows with arches could work well here.

Overall another great entry in the small division.
Oy it's going to be tough to vote. >.<;

Good Luck!

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#18 Admiral Ron

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:59 PM

Yeah, i will add a balcony, a statue, and  a round window, but it will be awhile becuase I gotta order the parts online, but thanks for all the input everyone!
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#19 The Alchemyst

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Posted 10 October 2009 - 11:17 PM

Ooh, I like the roof you added, much more natural than that plate of gray on the top.

Not sure if I like the action in there though. Seems oddly familiar of Warrant Service by JKool, as well as the fact that it seems out of place.

I like the humor though, but I just feel like if it was something somewhat related, it'd be better.

Looks like other than that nothing much has changed, I await your order and revision.  :pir_laugh2:

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#20 Lorentzen

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Posted 11 October 2009 - 08:04 PM

I've watched this MOC from the beginning, and I've enjoyed seing your improvements. It's great to see that people's ideas help you create something new and via that experience, help you become an even better MOCer :)

I really like your entry but maybe you should try to take even better photos. The most important thing when you do this, is to have loads of light. LOADS!!  :pir_laugh2:  Using a flash also helps taking sharper pictures. If you want to take pictures of something very close up, you should use the function called "macro" which usually is a button that looks like a tulip flower.
And maybe you should consider showing us the table and the two minifigs in close-up and from the right side of the MOC, instead of showing us the black roof, which is not quite as interesting.
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#21 MetroiD

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 06:34 PM

The kid & kitten on top are a nice addition, BUT not the best one for this specific MOC. Since you've gone in that direction, I strongly suggest adding something that brings another aspect of "Politics" into the frame. You already have bribing taking place on level 1, why not include some "tapping" on level 2? They didn't have phones back then, but you could try and mock-up some Armada brave soldier who's trying to "do the right thing" by overhearing what's going on... How about having him lie down on the floor with a cup against his hear in a desperate attempt to gather more info on the happenings downstairs? Just a notion.
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#22 Admiral Ron

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Posted 13 October 2009 - 07:18 PM

View PostTheOtters, on Oct 13 2009, 10:34 AM, said:

The kid & kitten on top are a nice addition, BUT not the best one for this specific MOC. Since you've gone in that direction, I strongly suggest adding something that brings another aspect of "Politics" into the frame. You already have bribing taking place on level 1, why not include some "tapping" on level 2? They didn't have phones back then, but you could try and mock-up some Armada brave soldier who's trying to "do the right thing" by overhearing what's going on... How about having him lie down on the floor with a cup against his hear in a desperate attempt to gather more info on the happenings downstairs? Just a notion.

The ironic thing was that I was going to try that, I even tried putting a cup to his ear and everything! maybe I will just go with it :)
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#23 martinsuper

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 07:49 PM

Like the idea.

Random kid beating a rat in the attic kinda takes away from the MOC a bit? If you are going to have something up there maybe have it be someone spying on the briber or bribee?

The red wall is too red and need some other color and bricks to break it up a little. It does not seem believable.

The chandilier is simple yet elegant, I like it alot and it adds a great deal to the MOC.

The chequered floor is a nice touch I wish you had more room to show it off.

It would be nice to do something with the outside flowers so they don't look like they were just stuck there. Maybe use some tile int he center or make it look more like a flower planter?

I really like the use of the old Admiral's hat. Always a favorite of mine.

Nice MOC!

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#24 Admiral Ron

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Posted 18 October 2009 - 03:12 AM

Made a new, more detailed version, what do you all think this round?
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#25 MetroiD

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Posted 18 October 2009 - 02:09 PM

Aaa-ha!!! :pir-sweet: :pir-sweet:  I'm so glad you followed my suggestion and actually implemented your initial idea! That soldier on top fits the whole scene so much better than the little boy and the kitten - especially with his grin. Now if you'd only add some details /furniture (i.e. a cupboard, carpet, a wall motif, etc.) to the upper floor, this one would be perfect! You could even use the space left by the sloped roof bricks and "insert" some smaller furniture items in there, that would look absolutely fabulous, especially from the angle your first picture is taken.
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