I think you have a pretty good entry here samthelegoman.
It has lots of action and good cruelty and blood effects, plus nice mean-looking minifigs. However there are quite a few things that could be improved upon.
Some improvements you could make:
1) One main thing that I don't like, is the mixing of fleshie and regular yellow minifig heads. It just doesn't look right, and I'm sure you probably have enough yellow heads.
2) I feel that the room is a bit lacking in the details department. There's nothing really in it besides the weapon chest and minifigs.
Some things that might be nice additions are: a desk for the Governor, a cabinet and a table with some maps on it. Of course these are just a few ideas.
3) If you have enough, it would probably look nice to put tiles on the floor.
4) The first picture is the only one that will be judged, so make sure to take one that includes everything. Your current one cuts off quite a bit of the picture.
5) Your pictures seem to be quite small as well. The maximum size is 800 x 600, and making them that size would make it easier to see as well.
6) Instead of taking pictures of each of the minifig groups, it would probably be a better decision to focus on more close-ups of the actual entry.
You can see all of the minifigs perfectly fine in the main scene.
Overall, I think you have the makings of a good entry, one that with a few improvements, could turn out beautifully!
Good luck in the contest!