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Prison break!


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23 replies to this topic  – Started by Paul cantu , Nov 15 2008 04:03 AM

#1 Paul cantu

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 04:03 AM

Posted Image Vig. 43b
Captain Surf Beard, the inventor of the Surf Board was tired of the imperials. He couldn't stand that all his Surf Board customers (A.K.A pirates) couldn't buy his latest invention because they were all getting thrown in the new island prison, Palcatraz. So what is his solution? His solution is to raid the new prison and release his fellow pirates and of course to show off his latest invention. "Prison Break!", the guards scream.....

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Edited by SlyOwl, 15 November 2009 - 09:35 PM.


#2 Erdbeereis

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 04:41 AM

Nice work! :pir-classic:

I really like how you put the green plates in the water to make it look like the alligator is closing in for the kill... :pir-tongue:
You also have good blood effects, which is a big plus in the cruelty department.

A few improvements you could make are:

1) One thing that would add a bit more character to the entry would be to have the water and sand level one stud lower than the grass.
You could just stack two layers of plates instead of one brick. Then it may look good to tile the water for some texture contrast.

2) In the first picture, (which is the only one to be judged) it's a bit hard to see everything, as it's almost level with the entry. I would recommend using a picture more similar to the 2nd picture for the main photo.

3) I love the idea of those rocks, but I feel they are too small. Perhaps you could add a few more bricks on them to make them stand out more.

======================================================================

Very good work and I think with a few minor touch-ups, it would be even better!

Great job! :pir-classic:

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#3 hollisbrick

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 04:52 AM

Great Moc, some nice details :thumbup: I agree with Erdbeereis1 that the croc idea is great but it can be improved :pir-sceptic: Awsome work though :pir-cry_happy:  :pir-classic:

#4 JimBee

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 06:01 AM

Nice work again, Paul!

What I like:
The story is great, and so is the blood. I also really like the green 1x1s in the water to represent the top scales of the crocodile emerging from the water. The addition of the monkey in the tree was a good idea to fill up some space.

What could be improved:
I think the rocks could definitely be made bigger. Also, I would have some foliage in the water to add detail. Lastly, this doesn't really reflect on the cruelty of pirates, but rather the islanders. But, that matter is ultimately up to the judges of the contest.

Besides these minor points, this is a good, unique entry, so good luck!

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#5 oDDerFisken

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 01:04 PM

Nice entry Paul cantu :thumbup:  

The croc eating a pirate is nice.. but poor pirate :pir_bawling:

That croc in thw water is brilliant!

Your shoreline with water/sand/grass is very good!

Also.. you've got blood :pir-skull:  I like that. i like that a lot.

Possible improvements
The palmtree is nice and tall, but the leaves are small. I'd add some more leaves - or bigger ones. And maybe a coconut or two.

A more pirate-ish torso for the one in half.

You rocks are good, but I'd make them a bit bigget and lower them - or make the grass higher. atm it looks to me like they stand on top of the grass. Integrate them in the surroundings.

As Erdbeereis1 suggests: lower the water so water and grass is not in the same level.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looks good. Good luck with the contest

#6 Zorro

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Posted 15 November 2008 - 10:15 PM

My opinion:
Paul Cantu, once again you have proven to be a great MOC builder.
The theme of this entry is both funny and cruel, and I like it!

Possible improvements:
1) I would add some additional details to your entry's ground. More plants and perhaps a height difference like in Erdbeereis1' suggestion.

2) Replacing the first pirate with the second could improve your MOC as well I think, the pirate being stabbed only shows his back, the only one shows his torso so I would prefer a real pirate torso for that.

3) As said by most others, the rocks look a bit unrealistic, making them larger could fix that problem.

Non-brick related advise:
1) The second and fourth picture are better for judgement purposes but I would take a fresh one, always remember to show as much as you can and that the minifigs should look into the lens whenever possible.

#7 Guss

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 10:45 AM

that's a nice entry Paul Cantu ^^

but there is something I don't really like... that doesn't show pirate pillaging and their cruelty^^ to me, this entry is nice, but for the "An islander day contest" ( I just invented it ) , not for a "pillage the village contest" , so I would advice to rebuild it ^^ but If you don't want to and if people think that fit the theme, then I'll say that I only see one thing to improve it, to add some herbs and plants^^

anyway, I wish you the best for the contest, and this is really a nice moc  :thumbup:
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#8 Erdbeereis

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 06:05 PM

I thought of a few more things that you might want to consider doing with your entry Paul Cantu.

Some more ideas:

1) When and if you re-take your first picture, I would recommend turning the printed shields, so that the viewer can see them in the photo, as they add quite a bit of detail and it would be bad not to see them.

2) Do you perhaps have a parrot that you could put on top of the tree for some more wildlife?

3) You only have one flower part with actual flowers on it. I think that you might want to take the flowers off of that one, or put flowers on all of them.

4) Maybe some brown hair pieces under the tree to simulate coconuts?

================================================================

Your entry is looking nice so far, keep up the good work! :kahuka:

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#9 Ryan_T

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 08:01 PM

Well, I don't know how my Post Ended up Here.... 0_o weird....

Edited by Davy_Blocks, 24 November 2008 - 07:57 PM.

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#10 Legoking

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 10:04 PM

Opinion
Paul cantu, you have created a very well done MOC. You have well executed your idea into Lego very well. I like how the Islanders have stumbled upon a fellow arch enemy, the pirates. I like how you have the pirate beaten down to the ground, legs torn off and blood pouring out everywhere. Just to make it even better, you have a crocodile eating him up. Also, the Islander that is stabbing the pirate is also a nice addition. The crocodile that is in the water is also very cool. I like how you used green flat 1 x 1 studs as the crocodile’s spikes. The monkey in the tree is always something good to have in your MOC. It just gives it a more pirate effect.

Possible Improvements

1) I would have the grass two studs higher than the beach, and the beach one stud higher than the water.

2) Possibly, you can put tiles on the grass, beach and water.

3) I would move the frog onto a lily pad in the water.

4) Change the pirate that is getting eaten by the crocodile to a screaming face expression.

Overall- Paul cantu, you have a great idea and have done a great job putting your MOC together. I can say that you have enough blood and don't need to add any more. There are some things you can improve on. I wish you the best of luck!

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#11 Paul cantu

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 12:21 AM

I am changing this entry into a more pirate pillaging instead of an islander pillaging. I need to have the name of this changed to "Prison Break!" So if someone could contact a moderator it would be greatly appreciated.

Here is the new entry:

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#12 Erdbeereis

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 12:44 AM

Now that was a very risky move, but I definitely think it was worth it!

This entry is tons better than your first one both in action and in detail. The man flying off the building looks excellent and I love the cannon fire.

Your little prison cells that you made are very nice also, I really like all of the details in the wall such as the lion head and cutlasses.

Good work on the waves as well, plus you included the lovely new pirate torsos.

Improvement ideas:

1) I'm not so sure about the surfboard with the cannon on it... Perhaps a little boat would fit?

2) Maybe add a dead body in the water with some blood?

3) It might look nice to have one more plant on the right side.

4) That black plate under the water stands out a bit too much. I would advise changing it to blue or white.

=============================================================================

I think that your bold move really paid off, and you made a great entry.

Good luck in the contest! :pir-classic:

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#13 Paul cantu

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 01:27 AM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 23 2008, 06:44 PM, said:

1) I'm not so sure about the surfboard with the cannon on it... Perhaps a little boat would fit?
I originally wasn't planning on making a new entry until I started sorting my legos. While I sorted it hit me. Why not make a surfing pirate moc? Then one thing led to another and I had a cool new entry. I don't want to change the surfer because that is how this whole idea got started. :pir-sweet:

#14 Erdbeereis

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 01:33 AM

View PostPaul cantu, on Nov 23 2008, 07:27 PM, said:

I originally wasn't planning on making a new entry until I started sorting my legos. While I sorted it hit me. Why not make a surfing pirate moc? Then one thing led to another and I had a cool new entry. I don't want to change the surfer because that is how this whole idea got started. :pir-sweet:
That's fine. :pir-classic:

I actually think it's a very funny and good idea, I just think it doesn't fit the time period well, but who knows, he could have been a pirate inventor! :pir-tongue:

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#15 Zorro

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:41 AM

My opinion:
Very good entry, although I liked your first one as well. There are some elements that could be improved though!

Possible improvements:
1) The surfboard just doesn't fit in, I would really urge you to replace it with a boat.

2) To add more cruelty: many prisons (and cities) of that time had a gallow, they were always placed in a very visible place, so I would add one on the walls since it would fit right in!

3) Maybe you could let one pirate try to escape by replacing one or two of his jailbars.

Minor points:
1)I would also change the black plates under the water into blue ones (if you have them).

Non-brick related advise:
1) Let most or all of the minifigs that can look into the lens for your first picture, since it is this one that will be judged!


PS: I will contact a moderator for you! :pir-classic:

#16 Paul cantu

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:43 AM

View PostErdbeereis1, on Nov 23 2008, 07:33 PM, said:

I actually think it's a very funny and good idea, I just think it doesn't fit the time period well, but who knows, he could have been a pirate inventor! :pir-tongue:

Yeah the surfing captain was for laughs. I am going to use that pirate inventor idea in my story. Thanks.

#17 Sinner

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 02:53 AM

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 24 2008, 12:41 PM, said:

PS: I will contact a moderator for you! :pir-classic:
Done!

Paul cantu: Why didn't you just PM a moderator yourself?





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#18 JimBee

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 03:15 AM

Hm, I like this new entry, but I liked the other one better. But it's your choice. In this one, I like the waves splashing and wall designs, as well as the pirates itching to get out of their cells. The cannon fire is illustrated differently than in most entries here, but not for the worse. I also like the pirate and soldier fighting in the air.

What could be improved:

I agree with Erdbeereis1 in that you should remove the black plate beneath the water. I also think that it would be neat if you had a stabbed soldier falling off the building. What would be really cool is some blood falling with that soldier. :pir-skull: Perhaps you can also change the surfboard to a rowboat to better fit the theme...

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But otherwise good entry, and good luck!

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#19 Guss

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 01:13 PM

YAY paul ! that is a good entry !

the surfboard with the canon is TOOO funny ! I don't want you to change it! keep your originality !

there is only ONE thing I don't really like.. the water! I would prefer it entirely blue ^^

anyway that's a great and funny entry, and I wish you good luck for the contest!
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#20 gormadoc1

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Posted 24 November 2008 - 09:18 PM

This is a great design as it looks like a well thought out and planned pirate escape with the soldiers not knowing what to do or what is happening. The prison is a simple yet able design as it is in a straight line upwards of cells if you turn it round it is extremely easy to move minifigures around although there is not much space to put minifigures in.This disadvantage is made up for by the minfigures adding effect (minifigures make anything stand out) also the little part of the sea makes the prison look like a private pirate ocean prison. Overall this prison is very good yet it could have a little more space and maybe a place for the soldiers like a guard room.  :jollyroger:
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#21 Paul cantu

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Posted 25 November 2008 - 01:54 AM

View Postzorro3999, on Nov 23 2008, 08:41 PM, said:

2) To add more cruelty: many prisons (and cities) of that time had a gallow, they were always placed in a very visible place, so I would add one on the walls since it would fit right in!
I was thinking of adding a gallow but I didn't because those have been used in other entries and I didn't want to further crowd the scene.


View PostSinner, on Nov 23 2008, 08:53 PM, said:

Done!

Paul cantu: Why didn't you just PM a moderator yourself?

I am new to this and I didn't know how. I will figure out how to do it.  :pir_wacko:

#22 Zorro

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Posted 25 November 2008 - 06:56 PM

View PostPaul cantu, on Nov 25 2008, 02:54 AM, said:

I am new to this and I didn't know how. I will figure out how to do it.  :pir_wacko:
The easiest way is to go to the Eurobricks frontpage (hyperlink above) and click on contact staff, choose the staff member you'd prefer (a mod if possible) and send him a PM (on the right). Type your text and you're ok!  :pir-wink:

#23 pirate4life

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Posted 27 November 2008 - 09:22 PM

Its ok but it needs blood. It needs more broken walls. It needs platforms for the prisinors so they can actualy stand. It could have a lot of inner structure improvement. ill give it a 3 out of 5.

#24 Legoking

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Posted 30 November 2008 - 04:11 PM

Opinion
Your story fits in really well with your MOC. I like the new invention that Captain Surf Beard has made, a surf board with a sail and cannon attached to it. First of all, the waves you made are great and I like how you included white caps. I have not seen that much people use transparent blue as water, but it even looks better than normal blue. The pirates attacking the guards on the top of the jail are nice. I like how you have the pirate and guard on the right flying in the air. The structure on your jail is very nice and I can see you have included a lion head statue in there as well.

Possible Improvements

1) I would take that black plate out because it stands out too much in the water.

2) Have one of the guards in the water.

Overall- I think your new and improved entry is much better than your last one. The idea that you have is great. I wish you the best of luck!

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