Posted 31 October 2008 - 10:17 PM
Here is my entry for the medium PTV contest:
These pirates are very happy, because they are able to get away with a ton of loot and no one is even trying to stop them. Of course, there is only so much that they can carry, so they were unable to steal everything in the shop.
I wanted to keep an open air feeling about the shop, so I left the roof off. Because it is a shop, it needs tons of supplies and food!!! There are apples, bananas, cherries, and even a pizza
I also added a back wall, filled with guns and a couple of treasure maps. This was inspired by the shops in the Legend of Zelda video games.
Here is a view of the shop by itself, allowing you to see it in greater detail.
Finally, the minifigures: two happy pirates with the loot and one scared shop keeper.
For more pictures, see: http://www.brickshel...ry.cgi?f=349845
Feedback is appreciated!
Posted 31 October 2008 - 10:34 PM
Posted 31 October 2008 - 10:48 PM
Looks good Tinn-Man, just a few little improvements and you are there. I admire the market stand.
1) I think it would look a bit better if the saleslady would lean a bit back, that might add to her scared expression.
2) The standard face of the second pirate is too standard, and I would give the first one hair or a bandana.
3) The pizza isn't at place in that time , and I would replace the second pirates' revolver with a pistol.
4) As xpatriot720x stated, your entry might benefit from some real cruelty, PTV isn't about happy pirates...
Non-brick related advise:
1) I think the quality of you pics could be a little bit better, maybe you resized it too much? And you are allowed to post them at 800x600.
Edited by zorro3999, 31 October 2008 - 11:01 PM.
Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:09 PM
What I like:
The shop is very good, and I like the items hanging on the wall. The lamps and flags are nice additions, and the stone path is done beautifully, bravo.
What could be improved:
This doesn't really show cruelty, though. I would either add some or change your concept entirely. It's up to you to figure out what to do. I would also advise you to change up the faces a bit; perhaps give the pirate with the bandanna a better face that's not so generic, and give the black pirate a hat or headgear of some sort. Also, you could change the revolvers (which weren't around at the time of pirates) to pirate pistols.
Please take these things into mind, and good luck!
Edited by JimButcher, 31 October 2008 - 11:10 PM.
Currently playing Hybros, 55-year-old male imp Marauder, and
Jinnipher Buchaire, 77-year-old female Moon Elven Knight
in the Heroica RPG
Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:12 PM
The cobblestoned path is beautiful and so is the market stand with all of the fruits.
A few things I would improve:
1) The pizza really doesn't fit in too well, I would recommend removing it.
2) It's not very cruel. One thing that would greatly enhance the cruelty would be to have a pirate holding a gun up to the shopkepper's head, and a dead body laying in the street.
3) Your pictures are quite grainy. It's probably because you resized them too much. They can be up to 800x600.
4) The faces could look a bit meaner.
Great work on your entry! I think you have a very good chance.
Posted 31 October 2008 - 11:35 PM
I'll just say like erdbeereis1 about, just remove the pizza ^^ apart from this, the shop is really nice! ( and it DO looks like the Zelda shop !)
anyway, that's a really nice entry and I wish you good luck for the contest! ^^
Posted 01 November 2008 - 12:02 AM
Posted 01 November 2008 - 01:09 AM
Edited by pe668, 01 November 2008 - 01:11 AM.
Posted 01 November 2008 - 02:41 AM
For example, if you have some sort of pistol or cutlass, that could be held up to the shopkeeper's head.
And in the street, you could have a body with some trans-red plates around it for blood.
But even without a lot of cruelty, your entry is still magnificent!
Posted 02 November 2008 - 03:03 PM
I like the whole market idea and pirates stealing from a helpless woman. Your MOC really does look like a market with the food in the crates and the guns and maps hanging on the wall in the back. The roofless market looks like something you would see in person.
1) Change the expression on the pirates faces because they are too standard.
2) Instead of having different color stones for the ground, just replace them with tiles.
3) I don't think the pizza fits in with a market.
4) As zorro3999 and xpatriot720x said, your entry might benefit from some real cruelty, PTV isn't about happy pirates. It is about pirates killing and fighting.
1) Your pictures are a little blurry. I would retake all of them.
Overall- I like the idea of pirates robbing a market, but you need to have some fighting or something else in there. Some things to work on, but if you fix up your MOC, it will look great. I wish you the best of luck!
My PTV Entry- Medium
My small PTV contest entry is coming soon!
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Posted 10 November 2008 - 09:31 AM
1) You can make it a look like a robbery, pirates love to steal from anyone! Girls,boys,babies,women,man and monkeys!
2)If you are keeping it that way than lose the pizza, I dont think pirates ate pizza during those times mate.
3)Take better shots laddy, no offense but I can see the small squares/megapixles in your pictures.
4)The heads faces are too standard, get some with angry faces! Especially the lady and like what Zorro said. Lean her back a bit or get her the bad and horrifying face. A scare ought to do her some good!
5) The name was attractive laddy but it is not fit for your moc, it needs something better like the robbery! Something that describes it eh?
Thats all I have for you laddy! Good luck for your entry!
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Posted 21 November 2008 - 11:11 PM
The shop looks nice with all kinds of different stuff for sale. The lady in the shop lucks scared. Thats very suitable for the sight before her eyes.
The lanterns looks good.
There's not much death about it. There's pillaging but I'd like a trail of blood after the pirates. Maybe an arm in the chest or something.
The western guns aren't good in pirateMOCs. Replaced them with the real pirateguns if you have some.
Give the black pirate a headgear. He deserves it.
I think it would look good if you added a pirate more carrying something. Maybe just weapons. but another pirate would make the other two looks less "alone".
Your pictures are very blurry. Can you do something about it?
Now go get this MOC from average to awesome.
Good luck with the contest.
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