28 replies to this topic

[iLikeSlugzz]

Vig. 65d
Hello, guys.

Here is my entry to the Captain\'s Cabin Contest.
I suppose this area counts...?





More photos: http://www.flickr.co.../timothyratner/

So, I had this scene concept written that 2 pirates were sneaking into the room of the pirate ship that holds the treasure, to steal for themselves. And maybe later, mutiny on the captain. Odd though, right when they were picking up a chest, the ship was attacked by their enemies who have a more powerful ship. The only survivors are left to drift into sea.

Edited by SlyOwl, 16 November 2009 - 08:56 PM.

[Captain Blackmoor]

I like this a lot. A very neat entry!  

What I like:
The story behind the MOC is cool.
The minifigs are well chosen, especially the heads.  
The SNOT water, it is always more realistic!

Possible improvements:
The bottom from the ship at the end. It is too straight for a 'broken' ship. The wall behind the pirates is perfect.
You should make the bottom more tattered.  

That's all what I can say on this beautiful entry.  

[Commander Red Hat]

You should keep your camera still when taking pictures, maybe some better lighting might help as well.

It's a shame as it looks like a nice vig.

[Fluyt]

Nice and simple, yet very effective moc   .

Possible improvement points:
1. As Capn' Blackmoor said, the edges of the remains of the ship are too "clean", it seems like it was sawed out of the ship, not that the rest was blasted away. Maybe you could also add a headlight brick with some transblue 1x1 plates, like water is gushing in.

Good points:
1. I like that it comes with a nice background story.
2. The scary minifigs, like a deer in the headlights of a car, or someone sitting on the toilet, and suddely the walls vanish, their "protection" is gone   .

[iLikeSlugzz]

I actually kept it still, it's just the manual focus ring on the camera...  

Thanks for the ideas. I'll try to implement them in next weekend, as the 'final tests' here are coming in a couple of days, and I have to study, study, study.

[puriri]

This MOC is good.
I like the story. It would be really cool if you could have the boat sunk into the water at an angle. Also a little more detail like having the edges splintered and the side curved.
Over all a good MOC could do with improvement.

Puriri

[Erdbeereis]

Pretty good entry!
It's funny that 2 shipwrecked-type entries were posted on the same morning.   I love the expressions on the faces, they really add a lot to the feel of panic. Another thing that you've done well is adding some debris in the water, which makes it much more interesting.

It's a shame that you have to use a webcam, because the pictures from that will never do this justice, but ah well.  

Some improvement ideas:

1) I would recommend reversing the direction the the raft is facing, so you don't have the unsightly bottoms of the bricks showing. Then you can tile the top for a perfectly smooth look.

2) Like the others said, definitely try to make the raft a bit more jagged, so it looks like it's really been blasted off.

3) Your entry feels a bit too flat in the color area. Primarily because it uses solid blocks of one color, like the plain blue water and the all-brown raft.
This could be improved dramatically by inserting some splashes of a different color in some parts. Here are a few ideas:

You could mix some light blue, white, and trans-clear plates (or just 1 or 2 of them) in with the water, which will make it much more exciting to the eye.
Placing some spilled jewels and coins around the treasure chest might be nice.
A black lantern on the wall.
Putting some black or dark brown plates in between the layers of brown on the bottom of the deck.
The ever-popular parrot perched somewhere.

Any of these things would be welcome additions, and will make your entry so much more interesting.

====================================================================

Overall, you have an excellent start on this, and I look forward to seeing your progress in the near future. Good luck!

[Ratshot]

Cap'n Blackmoor, on Mar 7 2009, 05:20 AM, said:

What I like:
The story behind the MOC is cool.
The minifigs are well chosen, especially the heads.  
The SNOT water, it is always more realistic!

Possible improvements:
The bottom from the ship at the end. It is too straight for a 'broken' ship. The wall behind the pirates is perfect.
You should make the bottom more tattered

  
That is about the same thing that I would say. Good Job Good Luck.

Edited by Broadside, 08 March 2009 - 12:20 AM.

[Zorro]

A good entry indeed, iLikeSlugzz, and I wish you the best of luck with this contest.

[iLikeSlugzz]

I updated it, check the first post.

My father has control of a HQ camera at his job, I'm going to kindly ask him if I can use it.

Thanks again for the critique.

[Erdbeereis]

That's much better already!

The jagged effect adds so much to the entry, and so does the debris. I still feel that it could use a bit more color contrast though.
Perhaps you could take a look at my last post for some suggestions on that matter.

It would be fantastic if you could borrow a better camera for your photo taking, as I believe that will greatly enhance your entry's appeal.
Nice work, and I wish you luck!

[Captain Blackmoor]

This looks much better indeed! Nice improvements on the MOC, I see you've made the edges more angular, it looks much better now! The water details are nice as well.

Good luck on the contest!

[iLikeSlugzz]

OK, guys. I have better quality pictures up. Check the original post.

I was able to get a hold of a HQ camera for the day. For the day...

[Erdbeereis]

Those pictures are 100% better.

Good work!

[Captain Blackmoor]

Those pictures are very, very nicely!

I'd better go and buy a new camera...

[Fluyt]

Definately an improvement in picture quality, they look great. The "broken" edges also look a lot better than the straight edges from before.
Still a nice, simple and effective moc.

[General Armendariz]

What I like

1. The story
2. The SNOT waters
3. The floating debris

What could be improved

1. Add waves to the water, it gives more realism
2. Make it more round because ships arent square!
3. Add more treasure, it IS a treasure room isn't it?

Overall you did a fine job

[iLikeSlugzz]

I updated it yet again, adding cutlasses(?) to the figs, and including my sigfig... Heh.
Also, making it seem more like a treasure room. I hope you likey. The pictures aren't as good as before, but I kept the last pic because I love it so much...  

[Erdbeereis]

Nice work with brightening your entry up a bit!
The gems are a lovely addition, but I can't help but feel that you're straying a bit far from the pirate theme by including a rock monster and your sig-fig. I think they would be excellent if you were writing a cartoon or something, but unfortunately I don't think they fit here very well...

Improvement ideas:

1) I think you might want to remove the monster and sig-fig, mainly because they kind of distract from your otherwise great MOC.

2) Instead of the rock monster, a parrot would be an excellent provider of color.

3) Perhaps use a black treasure chest instead of brown so it stands out more?

==============================================

This is already looking tons better than your original entry, and I think if you just be wary of what you add, it will turn out fantastic!
I wish you the best of luck!

[iLikeSlugzz]

I don't have a black treasure chest, but I could paint my gold one, I guess.

I added the rock monster and sigfig just to add my signature, because I love the rock monster fig. ;)
I'll remove it and try to find my red parrot.

[Erdbeereis]

iLikeSlugzz, on Mar 14 2009, 08:36 PM, said:

I don't have a black treasure chest, but I could paint my gold one, I guess.

I added the rock monster and sigfig just to add my signature, because I love the rock monster fig. ;)
I'll remove it and try to find my red parrot.

Don't paint your gold one. First of all it's against the rules, and second, the brown looks just fine.

I think the monster and your sig-fig look fine, but they just don't fit in too well. I look forward to seeing the parrot added in, I think it will look great.  

[iLikeSlugzz]

Oh right, I forgot about that rule. You wanted a black treasure chest in the MOC, and I didn't know LEGO made them in that color. Whatever, I don't think it's a huge problem.

Edited by iLikeSlugzz, 15 March 2009 - 04:16 AM.

[Erdbeereis]

iLikeSlugzz, on Mar 14 2009, 11:15 PM, said:

Oh right, I forgot about that rule. You wanted a black treasure chest in the MOC, and I didn't know LEGO made them in that color. Whatever, I don't think it's a huge problem.

Don't worry, the brown looks fine. It was just a suggestion.

If you're interested, here's a link to the treasure chest Bricklink page, where you can see which set it comes in, etc. . LINK

[SlyOwl]

Looking good!
A little change (if possible) I'd recommend would be to have the brown SNOT coming studs towards the camera, to avoid the tube holes, but that's a minor point.

Regarding the treasure chest, why not just use the gold one? It solves the colour problem...

I agree about the sigfig looking out of place (the face could at least be changed - he's gonna drown, after all!), but I liked the rock monster - it's weird, but a touch I enjoyed, although I don't know why...

BTW, does the scared face on the right come in any sets? I'm guessing it's brassoed/erasered - ?

Oh, and it does fit the base area

[Adam]

Great work!

SlyOwl, on Mar 15 2009, 11:47 AM, said:

BTW, does the scared face on the right come in any sets? I'm guessing it's brassoed/erasered - ?

It's one of Kaminoan's Fine Clonier Decals.