14 replies to this topic

[Dreamweb]

Vig. 37a
Hi, it's time I showed you my medium PTV entry  

I was planning to make it an imperial torture chamber, as I've mentioned while posting my large entry.

However as I started building the room itself, it turned out to look too cosy for a torture chamber, and so I came up with this new idea...  

Killed in his sleep

ATTENTION! This entry has been updated! This is the final version!


A British admiral is sleeping in his bedroom. A cowardly masked pirate who knows no honour has sneaked in through the window and murdered the poor guy in cold blood by cutting his head off.











See some more pictures HERE.

The MOC fits exactly on a 16x16 baseplate. There's a very small overhang (the window and the pirate in it, as well as the plants - see the 4th picture).

Any feedback will be highly appreciated.


PS. You can see pictures of the old version here, however they should be now considered WIP and nothing else:
http://img357.images.../8634/00ux2.jpg
http://img357.images.../3413/01gl6.jpg
http://img583.images.../5971/02eg6.jpg
http://img523.images.../6307/03vd7.jpg
http://img383.images.../4251/04zc5.jpg
http://img528.images.../4738/05eq8.jpg

Edited by SlyOwl, 14 November 2009 - 11:41 PM.

[pr0visorak]

This is an amazing job that you have done Dreamweb Now let me state for you what I think you can improve on...

Good things
1) The shark you put above the bed is very creative. It gives the room more understanding towards the victom as to put a shark on the wall, it will cost a lot and only a high official can propably do such a thing. Like your victim.

2)The fireplace is very small and nice to look at. It is a fireplace right? The wheel above it also gives the reader the sense that this vivtim is definetly an admiral. The swords at each side explains the exact same thing too.

3)The cloth hangar is genious. Seriously, it gives us the sense that this was during the past as they did not have clothes hangars in the past.

Improvements
1)The bolld spill on the bed. I know you stuck it in but can you do something different. If someone's head was chopped off you woud be able to see more blood. I suggest you take those red transparent circle studs and put them around the bed.

2)Same thing for the floor, take some red transparent studs and put it around the floor where your red plates are to make it look more realistic.

3)Good job with the head, to make it look more gruesome you can like take one or two of the lego red cherries and put them at the hole of where the head is, you can also add more of the red transparent studs to show the blood spill. You can do the same cherry thing for your body too.

4)The lights look a bit inreal, I am talking about the one at the end. Instead of using that balck gun with the yellow stud. How about replacing the black gun with a brown one and put a fire there instead? If you dont have a black one, its okay just replace it with the fire to show that it was from the olden times.

5) Can you improve the table by making it like a tree legged stool or a small table? Tha would be great.

You can dont take this seriously if you want to but that is just in my opinion

[Guss]

that's a really cool entry dreamweb, I'm glad you didn't revenge your sig-fig death in my entry by killing me  

I love the blood on the ground,you made it look likes the head bounced and rolled on it, that's very cool ^^
I love the chimney too , really nicely done !  

what I would improve on your entry ? mhhhh... really I don't know ^^  

[Zorro]

My opinion:
Marvelous, Dreamweb, in one word: fantastic!
The concept is very innovative and cruel, just the thing we are looking for in this contest. And the details of the Admiral's sleeping room are so well done, that big shark, the cloth hanger and the fireplace... .

Possible improvements:
1) I agree with PrOvisorak on the following points:
- There should be more blood on the bed, a human body has up to 5 liters of blood. (I do not agree with his second point, because the very most of the blood is in the remains of his body, not in his head)
- The last point about the lights, I think it could be done better as well. Do you know the lantarns of the BSB or the SES? I think using them would be better (brown ones, you can find that basebrick in the old palm trees as well).

2) For the outside of the building I would add some flowers beneath the window, that way the pirate/assasin has something to lean upon when climbing the wall.

3) I would reverse the shark, so one can see its head on most pictures.

[Erdbeereis]

That is a wonderful entry Dreamweb!
The SNOT is really well done and the bedroom has lots of interesting details, like the shark and the wonderful clothes hanger.
Nice work on the masked killer as well.

A few improvements you could make are:

1) Like Zorro and Pr0visorak said, I also think that some more trans-red tiles around the body and bed would be more accurate, and look a lot better.

2) I also think that placing the shark the other way around would give it a more prominent effect.

3) Man, Zorro and Pr0visorak must be on the same brain-wave with me today because we agree on everything!   
The lanterns look a bit skimpy compared to the big bedroom. I believe though that the palm tree piece wouldn't work here, as the prongs sticking out would prevent it from fitting well in the clip. Instead you could if nothing else put a trans-yellow round 1x1 brick rather than the single stud so it stands out more.

4) It might look good to have some flames coming out of the fireplace. But I may be wrong.

5) Lastly, I think putting some black tiles on the ends of the bed would match the other SNOT nicely.


==================================================================

I must say, your entry is brilliant and so far, I think it's my favorite medium entry.
Great work!

[Dreamweb]

zorro3999, on Nov 10 2008, 03:23 PM, said:

2) For the outside of the building I would add some flowers beneath the window, that way the pirate/assasin has something to lean upon when climbing the wall.

That's funny, because that's exactly what I thought of myself after posting the pics. I think I'll add some climbing plants on that wall.

Thanks for all your comments!

Edited by Dreamweb, 10 November 2008 - 05:06 PM.

[pr0visorak]

Good point, you could add plants but I suggest you consult an admin first or read the rules. Over hanging is allowed but I dont think that this is allowed. That is in my opinion, I suggest you do so to be on the safe side okay laddy? May lady luck be with you

[Legoking]

Opinion
I think this idea was even better than a torture chamber anyway. I think you have made the room well put together with lots of little details to make it look better. I like the fireplace the best is because of how you used swords as decoration and how you have an Imperial officer torso to make it look like it is clothes. Also, the bed is good and I like how you have a shark hanging above it. The pirate cutting a head off through a window is a good idea.

Possible Improvements

1) I am not sure how the head could have rolled that far away from the bed. Put the head closer to the bed.

2) I would not have the blood included as tiles. Just replace the blood spots with tiles and put blood on top of the tiles.

3) Maybe you could put some white tiles on the bed cover along with some blood stains as well.

4) Put some sort of fire in the fire place since it is a fire place.

5) You could have his wife walking into the room screaming.

6) Inside the room, you could have a flower in a little flower pot to add some color.

Non-Brick Related

1) Your pictures can be no bigger than 640x480.

2) Your last picture looks a little blurry. I would re-take that specific one.

Overall- This is a great idea by having a coward pirate kill his enemy. I really liked how you did the chimney. I have one question, is that a troll sword the pirate is holding? Some little things to fix, but everything else is great. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

My PTV Entry- Medium
My Brickshelf
My small PTV contest entry is coming soon!

Edited by LegoKing, 11 November 2008 - 04:55 PM.

[JimButcher]

Good entry, Dreamweb!

What I like:
The little drops of blood incorporated in with the SNOT techniques is wonderful. I also lie the neat fireplace and wall decorations. The nightstand and the killer escaping were both nice additions.

What could be improved:
The sword that the pirate is using could definitely be changed to a cutlass to better fit the theme. Also, this may be a personal preference, but I don't really like the color scheme (white and grey with yellow). I would either change the white to grey, or change the yellow to black or blue.

Other than those things, this is a nice entry, and wish you good luck!

[Paul cantu]

This is one of my favorite entries. I love the giant sword and the overall cruelty is great. Your idea is original and very sneaky. Just imagine how the maid will respond when she comes to clean the room. Nice shark trophy!

[oDDerFisken]

That's not a nice way to do things! The pirate must be a coward.. but well.. on the other hand it's pretty pirate-ish to do I think.

The blood effect on the floor is good and it's great that there's such a long distance from body to head

The hallstand is very nice and so is the fireplace. It shows this si someone in the navy. All the room is well made and there's many good details.

The "fish" is a funny detail.

It's a very ninja-like assasin you've got. I like it

Possible improvements
I'm not at all fond of the new swords TLC has made, so I think you should give the assasin a cutless instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guess that's all.
Good luck with the contest.

[ShaddowCroc]

This is a pretty interesting set. The way you've articulated the room with the things that the soldier owns is really cool. Also, I like the way you expressed the blood using red translucent tiles. (Though I'd imagine there would be more blood than that in Reality.)
But there are a few ways you could improve this. . .
The room, while detailed does look a bit cluttered, and maybe thrown-together. Other than that, I think this is a pretty solid set.
The way you made the blanket cover him was also pretty cool.
(I wonder if he ran around like a beheaded chicken when he was decapitated. . .)

Good luck, man.

[Dreamweb]

Hi there. I've updated my entry and edited the first post accordingly. Go back to the first post to see the new pictures. This is the final version!

First of all, I've added plants on the outer wall - that's how the pirate climbed up there in the first place (although he may have very well been lifted by another pirate standing outside - that's left for interpretation). I've also slightly redesigned the bed and the lights.
.
Check out the updated gallery HERE.

LegoKing, on Nov 11 2008, 05:54 PM, said:

Put some sort of fire in the fire place since it is a fire place.

Your pictures can be no bigger than 640x480.

I have one question, is that a troll sword the pirate is holding?

He put out the fire before going to sleep.

Actually the pictures can be no bigger thant 800x600, right?

Aye, it's a troll sword from the new Castle line.

JimButcher, on Nov 13 2008, 03:57 AM, said:

The sword that the pirate is using could definitely be changed to a cutlass to better fit the theme.

oDDerFisken, on Nov 21 2008, 11:38 PM, said:

I'm not at all fond of the new swords TLC has made, so I think you should give the assasin a cutless instead.

I was considering that, however a cutlass looks a bit too small to be used to decapitate someone. Cut someone's throat - fine, but cut the whole head off - unlikely. I wanted something more heavy-looking.

Thanks for all the useful comments!

[Erdbeereis]

The pictures only have to be under 800 x 600 so you are fine there.

Very nice improvements Dreamweb!
The plants on the outside add a lot of detail and contrast, and Your updated torch looks much better now that it's a bit bigger. The only thing I'm not a big fan of is that troll sword, as it looks a bit out of place.
I think a cutlass would perhaps be a wiser choice, but it's not a big deal.

Great work!

[Dreamweb]

zorro3999, on Nov 10 2008, 04:23 PM, said:

I would reverse the shark, so one can see its head on most pictures.

Erdbeereis1, on Nov 10 2008, 05:29 PM, said:

2) I also think that placing the shark the other way around would give it a more prominent effect.

I decided not to turn the shark around, as it was supposed to be placed like that so the Admiral could look at its head rather than its tail while lying in bed...   When he was still able to see of course...  

Edited by Dreamweb, 23 November 2008 - 10:22 PM.