Commander Flash Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) The first clone wars comic wasn't very good in my part, so now is a more planned out and better setting. Anyone who would like to help in any process, pm me. This is from Flash's point of view, from after the wars. I remember above the skies of Rodaan, I saw the settlement under the mountain. The chancellor had told us that Rodaan is great in resources, due to it is unaligned with the republic or separatists. It is our first mission, and it should be a success. Chief: Intruders from above! Do you bring malice or prosperity? Commander Flash: We are coming on behalf of the Republic. Chief: Rodaan has been well off with no support. What makes the republic want us? Commander Flash: We are in war. Your planet has vast resources and is in a key location. We could provide protection for your planet. Chief: We shall go to the law hall to negotiate. In an unknown location... Sith: The Jedi have sent clones to Rodaan. You must sabotage their efforts. Is that understood... Durge? Chief: That sounds like a fair deal. I shall think of your words. Explore my fair city while you wait. Boom! Commander Flash: What was that? Follow me boys. Commander Flash: What are you? Durge: Hahaha Boooom! Ajax: Down you go! Sith: You mustn't break away yet. More and more mandalorians will come. Break out then. Chief: You have proven yourself. Tell your leader we are glad to join. My son would be glad to accompany you, as a symbol of our goodwill. Flash: That would be fine. Dan: Thank you. After we left, clones came to set up an outpost. The beast we froze was awoken, and killed the chief and destroyed the city. More of our brothers came after the beast left. He wasn't easy to kill, until the Jedi Kenobi destroyed him later in the war. What do you think? This was just a pilot, the real episodes will have a bit more storyline. Edited December 13, 2009 by Commander Flash Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted December 13, 2009 Not bad, not bad at all. I love the freezing, that was very well done. However, it was a tad bit rushed. It could have done with more speech and explaintion, but as you said, it is a pilot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted December 14, 2009 I kind of felt it was rushed, but as you quoted me... Thanks for reading. Any suggestions of planets to work with? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted December 14, 2009 Not bad, not bad at all. I love the freezing, that was very well done. However, it was a tad bit rushed. It could have done with more speech and explaintion, but as you said, it is a pilot. I agree. It was quite a good start. The scenery was well-built and the story was good, but it was rushed, I feel. Now I know why you asked if Durge spoke. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks ADHO. Sneaky of me, eh? Depth wise, I'll try to make it like a double or triple clone wars episode. Like a three parter in a comic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted December 14, 2009 Thanks ADHO. Sneaky of me, eh? Depth wise, I'll try to make it like a double or triple clone wars episode. Like a three parter in a comic. I know it would be much harder and would take a lot more time, but just expanding the story to make it seem as long as a Clone Wars episode, for example, would be better. Including more places/scenery would be nicer too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted December 14, 2009 Yeah, I don't want to be like "One comic a week!" I'd rather have one great one in a while. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted December 14, 2009 (edited) I kind of felt it was rushed, but as you quoted me...Thanks for reading. Any suggestions of planets to work with? Planets eh? Well, if you want a major challenge I would go for Christophsis Okay.......seriously now, Naboo is always a great place. There is great scenery and buildings. Coruscant would be interesting, but if you decide on Coruscant, I would go for a bar scene, that always works and gives a nice feel to it, and you avoid having to make a whole city . Kashyyyk would be fun, lots of Wookiee trouble to liven things up. Um......those are all I can think of right now. Just a few ideas to keep you going. Oooh, a Space Ship interior scene is also great. But please, don't do Tatooine or Endor, well it's your choice but IMO, I think they are over used and dull to be frank. Remember though, explain the picture better, otherwise it can get very confusing for the reader. Edited December 14, 2009 by The crazy one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted December 15, 2009 Naboo sounds good. There's alot to work with and hasn't been used to death as Endor, Tatooine, and Hoth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted December 15, 2009 (edited) Naboo sounds good. There's alot to work with and hasn't been used to death as Endor, Tatooine, and Hoth. Not Naboo! That's where Ad-Hoh's 24th was based. I'm kidding. You can use it if you want. Well, if you want a major challenge I would go for Christophsis Okay.......seriously now, Naboo is always a great place. There is great scenery and buildings. Coruscant would be interesting, but if you decide on Coruscant, I would go for a bar scene, that always works and gives a nice feel to it, and you avoid having to make a whole city . Kashyyyk would be fun, lots of Wookiee trouble to liven things up. Um......those are all I can think of right now. Just a few ideas to keep you going. Oooh, a Space Ship interior scene is also great. But please, don't do Tatooine or Endor, well it's your choice but IMO, I think they are over used and dull to be frank. Remember though, explain the picture better, otherwise it can get very confusing for the reader. I don't mean any offense to crazy, and you can have a go at me for being fussy about continuity, but Endor and Hoth were remote planets and the Republic never ventured that way, to my knowledge. Tatooine was controlled by the Hutts and didn't have much Republic presence. The 501st and 212th took Christophsis and the 9th had Kashyyyk. If you still want to use them, I won't mind at all, but I'd advise you to go for a lesser-known place. This will give you more freedom in your builds as you don't have to make it look exactly like a certain place, and your buildings don't have to match their architecture. Also, I know that you like your camo, Flash, so maybe a forrested planet would be better than a desert or ice one. You could choose a place where the species are easy to make too. Rodia or Dac would be nice, but it'd cost you a fortune to buy their heads on Bricklink. Just my advice. No offense meant. Edited December 15, 2009 by ADHO15 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted December 15, 2009 I don't mean any offense to crazy, and you can have a go at me for being fussy about continuity, but Endor and Hoth were remote planets and the Republic never ventured that way, to my knowledge. Tatooine was controlled by the Hutts and didn't have much Republic presence. The 501st and 212th took Christophsis and the 9th had Kashyyyk.If you still want to use them, I won't mind at all, but I'd advise you to go for a lesser-known place. This will give you more freedom in your builds as you don't have to make it look exactly like a certain place, and your buildings don't have to match their architecture. Also, I know that you like your camo, Flash, so maybe a forrested planet would be better than a desert or ice one. You could choose a place where the species are easy to make too. Rodia or Dac would be nice, but it'd cost you a fortune to buy their heads on Bricklink. Just my advice. No offense meant. .............I just got silenced......... When I referred to Hoth and Tatooine, I meant not to use them because the are dull, meaning don't use other planets like them. Christophsis was just a joke. I know all the facts, don't worry, I do edit Wookieepedia. But considering it is just a comic, I was just throwing out some ideas. I'm not sure if he is that bothered about accuracy. If you are, I'm sorry. Tatooine did see Republic war, but much later in the war. Just before Order 66 I'm not going to have a go at you. I'm far too nice, and I'm rather fussy myself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted December 15, 2009 When I referred to Hoth and Tatooine, I meant not to use them because the are dull, meaning don't use other planets like them. Christophsis was just a joke. I know, but I thought I'd just say what was wrong with them seeing as they were named. I know all the facts, don't worry, I do edit Wookieepedia. But considering it is just a comic, I was just throwing out some ideas. I'm not sure if he is that bothered about accuracy. If you are, I'm sorry. I know you do, but Flash might not. I was just outlining the problems for him. It's ultimately your decision, Flash, but it looks like we're both here to help you when you need it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted December 15, 2009 It's ultimately your decision, Flash, but it looks like we're both here to help you when you need it. Completely agree. Can't wait to see your next installation Flash. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted December 15, 2009 Thanks for the input, ADHO and Crazy One. I intend on some accuracy, but not complete. Like it would be able to be fit in the 2-3 years in between Episodes 2 and 3. Tatooine-dull and done in every movie, game, and such Hoth-See Tatooine, and uninhabited for another twenty years Kashyykk- unlikely possible. Lesser known planets and made up ones will be included, to allow creativity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted December 15, 2009 Thanks for the input, ADHO and Crazy One. I intend on some accuracy, but not complete. Like it would be able to be fit in the 2-3 years in between Episodes 2 and 3. Tatooine-dull and done in every movie, game, and such Hoth-See Tatooine, and uninhabited for another twenty years Kashyykk- unlikely possible. Lesser known planets and made up ones will be included, to allow creativity. Sounds great. I can't wait to see your next comic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted December 16, 2009 Thanks for the input, ADHO and Crazy One.Tatooine-dull and done in every movie, game, and such No problem. It wasn't in ESB. Sounds great. I can't wait to see your next comic. Same here! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sairen Posted December 23, 2009 wow, nice job Flash! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted January 6, 2010 To hold you viewers over until next episode I have a question for you. Would you like to see more of planets that are: -better known like Naboo, but see more scenes of different places inspired by movie scenes, -planets like Ilum which are little explored and known, or -planets like Rodaan, made up but plausible? The comic spans over the entire clone wars, but jump around, so at any point during, if there wasn't a legion there at the time, that could be a chance. Flash also wears a white version of his suit, so snow is possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted January 6, 2010 I think it's up to you, maybe do them all? Keep all audiences happy, but don't do Naboo, otherwise ADHO15 willl have a tantrum. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commander Flash Posted January 6, 2010 I am working on Naboo already . I'm sure he'll like the comic though, this is Naboo early war, I'm giving him 2-3 years to work with if he wants a comic Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ADHO15 Posted January 6, 2010 It's okay. I don't mind. I'm sure, as you said, I'd like the comic whatever. Naboo does have polar regions, remember, so you don't have to venture off to another planet if you want snow. I'm looking forward to the next part. Just PM me if you need any more help. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Crazy One Posted January 6, 2010 (edited) Sounds great. I can't wait to see what you come up with. PM me if you want aswell, but I am a OT man, I won't be as good as ADHO15 here. Edited January 6, 2010 by The crazy one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
