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  1. All my monies to Bob!
  2. Location: E01 - Donwarr Tags: Civil Building Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/147086-o-f09-the-rise-of-natco/ http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/146960-o-f03-z-on-forring/ Currently... <whip crack> <whip crack> <whip crack> ++INCOMING PRIORITY TRANSMISSION++ ++AUTHENTIFICATION SUCCESSFUL++ ++PRIVATE SECURE LINE ACCESS GRANTED++ <bzzt...crackle...bzzzzzt...shhhhhhhh...bzzt> Hombre? Hombre, are you there? Yes, it's really me, Hannibal. I'm alive...in a manner of speaking. I need your help. I knew I could count on you. Meet me on Donwarr at these coordinates. Beware that there is a heavy M.A.N.T.I.S. presence nearby. And understand that you...might not...recognize me in my current form... Later, on Donwarr... Thanks for meeting me here. Others are also on the way, but the favor I'm asking of you requires a bit of discretion. Hannibal is copied off goatman's design. As I already told you, parts of me are scattered throughout the various corporate networks. Somehow, the memory fragments of my more intimate experiences ended up on a M.A.N.T.I.S. network which is backed up on a server in a nearby base. This body is not capable of sneaking in and retrieving those files undetected and the only one I can trust with such matters is you. Coincindentally, Callahan is also being held prisoner at this M.A.N.T.I.S. facility. This allows us to kill two birds with one stone. The others and I will provide a diversion for you as we break him out. Once you have the memories, make your way through the facility and join us as we extract. This means a lot to me. Thanks. Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  3. Location: F09 - Arium Minor Tags: spaceship Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/146871-o-f09-run-away-run-away/ Currently, on Arium Minor... Thank my great aunt's glans! We've found them! The terrain is recycled I've called for an immediate medivac! Do we have their vital signs? Pombe's waking up! Oooh...we made it. Phew. That was an ordeal. I see Dr. Long is alright. That's good. Sir, are you... Bqllr! Yes, yes...I'm alright. Yes, I just checked. All my man parts are good. Eshey? Tracy? What are you two doing here? Hyer hyer hyer. Hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer. Hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer. Hyer. Hyer hyer hyer hyer hyer. That's right, sir. Tracy and I put in our notices two weeks ago. I'm glad you're back, but Octan just isn't the company it used to be. In fact, I think it's lost it's touch. That was clearly evident while you were away. I can't stop the either of you, but I'd like you both to reconsider. No! Octan has lost its way! And now, Tracy and I are going to form...evil Octan! No! Not...evil Octan! Yes! And it will be called Natco and I will be its CEO, Evilshey! Natco is Octan spelled backwards! That's evil! Yes! And you've grown an evil mustache! Yes! And you've added the word "evil" to your name! Yes! And that's not all. No...not even you would be that evil! Yes! Natco has a color scheme that is the reverse color palette of Octan! No! That's like an April Fool's Joke! That's truly evil! Yes! And here is Natco's first product! An evil starfighter! No! Not an evil starfighter! Yes, and now, Tracy is going to fly it to meet with our evil investors! Hyer! Did you need a ride, Eshey? Uh, yeah...I was wondering if I could get a ride back to the Axle to get my stuff. Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  4. Ed! If you wanted me to bite, you could have just asked! Now get back here!
  5. Location: F09 - Arium Minor Tags: land vehicle, airplane Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/146564-o-f09-to-boldly-go-the-search-for-pombe/ Currently, on Arium Minor... Any signs of survivors, Tracy? We need to assist them immediately! Still scanning the remains of The Bird That Sashays which mysteriously and inexplicably crashed on Arium Minor. Nearby... Get us out of here before she finds us!!! It won't go any faster, ma'am!!! Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  6. All my monies to Bob!
  7. Location: F09 - Arium Minor Tags: Spaceship, Civil Building Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/146280-o-e03-year-of-the-cock/ Currently... Eshey, you have been...and always shall be...my greatest failure. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Eshey? Did you have a bad dream? Oh...it was just a dream. Phew. Hey, Tracy...when was the last time you saw Pombe? Erm...it was a couple of months ago, I think, just before he took part in that experiment with Dr. Long. He said "hi" to me as he walked out of the restroom. Have you noticed things being...different...since then? Not really. I cleaned toilets before, I clean toilets now. I don't know. I feel as if things aren't quite right. Um...have you given any thought to my proposal? To join you as you create a startup? Well? I say, why not? I figure I'll just clean toilets elsewhere. Alright, let's go find Pombe. For what? To hand in our two week's notices. Later... Captain Kruge, ma'am, we've followed the Octan ship to Arium Minor undetected, using The Bird That Preys' active stealth technology. Just look at them...completely oblivious to our presence. Unstealth now and attack! Red alert, all stations! Yes, ma'am! Eshey, a M.A.N.T.I.S. ship has destealthed and is firing on us. Oh? What's it called? I'm not sure. Hail them. We're being hailed, ma'am. Of course, we are. Let's watch as they surrender. Cease attack and put them onscreen. Yes, ma'am. Hi, M.A.N.T.I.S. vessel, this is Tracy and Eshey onboard the Octan vessel O.C.S. Constitution. We were wondering what your ship was called. It's...it's the toilet mech girl! You! You've caused us much grief! And now you have the audacity to stop our attack because you wanted to know the name of our ship?! Yes, how else are we supposed to know what to call you? You...you have a point, I suppose. It's The Bird That Preys. Sorry, there must be some subspace distortion. Did you say it was The Bird That Plays? What exactly does it play? A game, a sport, a musical instrument? No, no! It's The Bird That Preys! The Bird That Pays? You don't owe us anything so you don't have to pay us. The Bird That Preys! Oh, it's a religious ship. Well, I don't pray, but I'll keep you in my thoughts. Deaf Toilet Mech Girl, it's The Bird That Preys!!! Sorry, The Bird That's Prey? Oh, that sounds scary! What's it's predator? ARGH!!! Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  8. All my monies to Bob!
  9. All my monies to Bob!
  10. Location: E03 - Ertauq Tags: Spaceship, Civil Building, Land Vehicle Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/145912-o-e03-in-space-no-one-can-hear-you-poop/ Currently, above Ertauq... This build is recycled from last week. There, the rotator cuff actuators are installed. Excuse me, is someone in here? I need to clean the toilets. Eshey...what...what are you doing? Tracy! I've been meaning to talk to you. And, I'm working on Octan's latest drone. Why are you working in the lady's restroom? I work best on a toilet. Anyway, Tracy...have you been happy at Octan? I clean toilets, Eshey. Octan policy requires all restrooms be sanitized every six hours. Exactly! All the employees here only care about this protocol or that regulation! It's so stifling. They just don't get it. It's a paycheck. There's nothing to get. There's everything to get! Don't you ever wish for something more? What are you suggesting? I'm not sure. I just feel like I'm not such a good fit here. Oh, I finished the rooster drone! Later... Alright, ma'am, we're back in Ertauq in a Doombringer class heavy fighter. That girl on a toilet mech doesn't stand a chance now. I'm feeling pretty cocksure, ma'am. Don't get too cocky now. Let's just take out this toilet mech girl so I can go home and get some cocktails. Ma'am, something just showed up on our scanners. Putting it on screen now. I...I think it's a cockatrice? Poppycock! Cockatrices aren't real! Maybe it's a cockatiel? What a cockamamie observation! It's the wrong colors to be a cockatiel! Perhaps it's a peacock? What did I just say about being the wrong colors?! It's a cock! It's a cock! Cockadoodledoo!!! Shoot it! Shoot it! Too late, ma'am! It reached the hull during the time we spent trying to figure out what it is! Ahhh!!! It's on the cockpit!!! Evasive maneuvers!!! Cockadoodledoo!!! The cock is pecking us!!! It's trying to penetrate!!! We're so screwed... Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  11. As an avid student of the philosophies of men's high fashion, I once wrote a thesis titled "The Pinnacle of Men's Fashion: Are Clothes Really Necessary?", where I explore the relevance and origins of clothing for men, and whether or not clothing is still required for the modern man. I admit I find it puzzling that clothing retailers for men still exist, but, as they say, to each their own.
  12. Location: E03 - Ertauq Tags: Spaceship, Civil Building, Land Vehicle Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/145741-o-e03-desert-storm/ Currently, above Ertauq aboard the M.A.N.T.I.S. cruiser Remorseless... Captain! We've picked up something on the scanners! Give me a visual. Yes, ma'am. It appears to be yet another hidden Octan base, ma'am. The scanners don't show any activity that would indicate that they've noticed us and I don't see any sort of combat fighter patrol. This is too easy. Alright...all stations, red alert! Bring weapons online and give me a firing solution. Calculating now, ma'am...wait, hold on. Something else just appeared on the scanners. It's headed straight for us. How did we miss it earlier? It seems to be very small, ma'am. On screen! What in Cor's balls is that? It...it...appears to be an...uh...open cockpit mech with a scantily clad woman sitting on a toilet... This is odd, even for Octan. I...I can't process this. How is she even still alive?! And...and...she's smiling at us! I'm scared, ma'am! Keep it together! Too late...I peed myself! Maybe we should get you a toilet. Quick! I want a new firing solution on the mech! I don't understand, ma'am! The weapons systems won't give me a firing solution! It's like the mech's not there! Oh no...I crapped my pants... Bring engines to full power now and get us out of here! This must be some new Octan technology. We must report it right away to the CEO. Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  13. All my monies to Bob!
  14. Location: E03 - Ertauq Tags: Land Vehicle Dramatis Personae: Previously: http://www.eurobricks.com/forum/index.php?/forums/topic/145431-o-f09-snip-snip/ Currently, on Ertauq... Where in Lord Business' mammaries is Eshey?!?! I don't know. She said she was going for a drive. A What?!?! Meanwhile... Comments and criticisms are all welcome!
  15. Sorting. I see a set I like. I buy it. Then I set it aside, because I don't have time to sort the bricks right at that moment. Rinse. Repeat. Then, at some point, you are staring at dozens of unopened sets dreading the fact that you have to sort over 10,000 bricks. Then, after enough of this, you give up and just buy all your LEGOs from BrickLink, because all the bricks come pre-sorted.