Darkdragon

Aperture Academy Mafia School: Sign-Up Thread

48 posts in this topic

apertureacademy1.png

apertureacademy2.png

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[_] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received:

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I haven't ever survived a mafia game and I feel that I need a refresher because quite frankly I am not good at mafia. They let me host, they really shouldn't. What's that? I am hosting? Right now? Oh, well that shouldn't interfere. I'm good at multitasking. I happen to be very proficient at learning however I suck at mafia. I'm repeating myself to try and get to 10,000 words. Is that bad? I really shouldn't repeat myself...I'd like to play...

Please accept me.

Nobody ever accepts me in life. You're not my therapist, go away. My therapist overcharges me, I think. He thinks that I won't notice but I notice. My therapist does say that I need to be accepted more. She says that mafia is good for me. I have two therapists, they both challenge each other frequently. How many words is this so far? Let me count, one, two, three...oh sugar, I lost count.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

I'd like to play.

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apertureacademy1.png

apertureacademy2.png

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[Z] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[43] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[poodle] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Maebee

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[Gary Coleman] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[ :look: ] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[Is this based off of HALO?] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I'll write a play about it:

Hinckley: Yes.

Hosts: Yes, what?

Hinckley: All three, blood, breath and urine. :tongue: Yum!

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[!!1!eleven!!11!!1] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all. You're welcome.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity. OK

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash. I put the check in the mail. Can I plaze now? :moar:

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are you currently being observed?

[x] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Everyday is a learning experience and of course experimentation is part and parcel of Esurient's life. Shadow's superhero bloodbath triggered the hunger in Esurient. Not able to participate in The Pearl and Heartlake Heartbreak makes Esurient wants it even more. Every second seemed like minutes, every minute seemed like days. Days passed like years, hands clutched and feet crossed. The auto refresh button refreshed the EB frontpage every 5 seconds. Esurient's eyes turned bloodshot, when is it coming, when is it coming, when is it coming, when is it coming. Finally, the thread appeared before Esurient's eyes. His eyes glowed. The time has come!!!!

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Oh and I only pay in cash.

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Pick me! Pick me! Oh, there's a form to fill out ....

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

(1) I am currently watching a BBC documentary - I need a life!

(2) See (1)

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[O] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

(X) I didn't answer yes to the previous question and drew a little box for this question myself : )

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[O] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are they wrong?

[O] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[O?] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

An injury prevents me from remembering : (

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

We were playing tic tac toe, right? I think I won

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I would love to do this!

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes (Well for my age :grin:)

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] (Hell) No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No (I only sue for fun)

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Well you see, science is my least favorite subject, so I thought I should learn more about by doing this learning experience. Is that good enough? :tongue:

Oh, and here's my sad story: I'm never accepted. No one wants me on their team and everybody says that I will never be in a Mafia game. The reason you should accept me: I got a logical story and a sad story. :grin:

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Edited by Brickington

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Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Any opportunity for further education and learning is good, and since science has always been a passion of mine, combining those leads to my wish to participate here, in this exciting experiment.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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Awesome graphics! And is that Master Roshi in the last frame...? :look:

Good luck to all the new players (and maybe some old ones too...). You'll need it with these hosts. 12 year old Godfather, yeah right.

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I'll bite.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

[X] I'm still not participating in the above learning experience. I'll let you know when it's over.

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I heard once that submitting yourself to new learning experiences is a way to make friends, but mostly to fight to the death with your competitors. Also, I heard once that asking questions and critical thinking is a way of "engaging the learner". Lastly, if I get poked or harmed physically in any way, it will help cure me of my fear of needles.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Thank you for offering this wonderful mode of learning.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

I see the sky. Am I doing this wrong?

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

Pay to [Cash] the order of [zip, zilch, nada]. You're welcome.

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Awesome graphics! And is that Master Roshi in the last frame...? :look:

Thank you, yes it is. :dhappy:

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I've never participated in much, and hoping to get more involved. Additionally, I'm hoping this leads to some sort of probing...

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[X] Yes, never played a mafia school game, co-hosted once and then hosted a mafia school game.

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes,

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure, I didn't make any errors as host in that game...

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Because I am kind of suckish at playing mafia games... Uhm what I am trying to say is that there is a lot of room for improvement in my gameplay.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

Edited by badboytje88

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apertureacademy1.png

apertureacademy2.png

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

[X] Yes

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

Easy as that

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apertureacademy1.png

apertureacademy2.png

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Enrolling into this prestigious academy will broaden my horizons, enrich my life and meet great people.

I have no doubts that enrolling into this academy will be a great start to the many great things to come.

I hereby, give consent to participate in all experiments that the academy has installed for me for the next six weeks to come, for I know it is for the greater good of human mankind.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

To learn to put aside my differences with other people. For Science

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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apertureacademy1.png

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result? N/A

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[x] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

i would like to understand the subtle intracies involved with Mafia School, failing that I would like to play mafia and take out the trash/good folk of the Town. It also seems a good way to interact with other community members, my time for building is very limited at the moment but I'm in front of a computer 8 hours a day at least recently!

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No (I need to learn to learn)

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[x] No (I did not answer yes so I asume no)

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes (I hope so or this bow-tie and pocket watch were a lousy investment)

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[x] Yes (they were a lousy investment)

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[x] No (though who can be really sure)

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I feel that we should all partake in some gentle learning persuasion. The mystery and intrigue of the 'dog-eat-dog' world of EB mafia is the sort of thing I need in my life.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No (pressure is for those who can't handle their bricks :wink:)

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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Finally the Epic Mafia school,

"puts a cigar in the mouth"

I was born for this, and I am the one most suitable...

"You have to fill out this form"

You talking to me, I DON`T need no stinking form

"It will determine if you are the most qualified?"

Of course I am, ok and it over

apertureacademy1.png

apertureacademy2.png

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No "Life is all abou learning, if not a double barreled shotgun can be most convincing"

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes " Unpleasant results, I love unpleasant results"

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes "But the shotgun again, can be of godd use here also"

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Hmm, it seem like a fun deal. And this is my year, my time to be apart of EBs epic Mafia games

"starts to load the shotgun and lits the cigar"

Just think about it

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No "why, I don´t need to use big words to get what I wan´t"

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

PS. Everything I have said or done, mentioned in above. I will deny everything in a court of law. "That is not my handwritting" :wink:

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Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] NoI

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Ofcourse!i think.

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Not Sure

No one is interested in me...

forever alone

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] An Injury prevents me from remembering

...Why was i doing this again?

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

It's something new i never tried before.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

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In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering ~Sea Madness

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Do I want to participate? But you came to me! What's your game computer?!

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

~Nemo

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In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No - unless the story below or many many years of RPG's is relevant.

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No (Though I can't remember anything I'm supposed to know.)

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure - if you are reading this, and you are not me does that count?

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Many years ago a friend and I went camping on the bank of a large river. We had a camp fire, it was warm and glowed a pleasant orange colour but it was a little boring. So we figured it would be much more exciting to carry out a scientific experiment. We walked down the riverbank gathering all of the empty aerosol cans we could find to put them in the fire one at a time to see what happened. Science is great – dangerous explosions with shrapnel shards of metal cannisters flying all over the place proved our hypothesis to be correct: they would explode and that indeed it was very exciting and our fire was no longer boring. We hid behind a large sheet of plywood we had found on the river bank for protection, and had moved our camping stuff and bicycles a way off. Our experiment was so cool that once the cans ran out we decided to check the river bank further afield and see if we could find some more to throw in our fire.

Well, yes, we found plenty more aerosol cans. And to our delight (and eventual regret) a small blue gas canister for a camping stove. At this point our self preservation instinct should probably have taken control, but our desire to advance science was unstoppable. We saved the canister until last. I guess we knew that at this point the experiment was taking a turn for the even more reckless and we may as well enjoy the regular explosions for a while longer. We did, it was very dangerous (DO NOT EVER DO THIS) and very very stupid. Then all that was left was the gas canister. We dropped/threw it into the fire, and ran scared of immediate death, to our 'protective' piece of wood, then began backing up towards our bikes and bags.

Nothing happened. We relaxed after several minutes, it must have a hole we figured, or it must be open, completely empty and not going to blow. So we decided to head home, not go back to the fire (we were idiots, but not suicidal). Then it blew. The bang was so loud all I could hear was ringing, the piece of wood between us and the fire was blown on top of us and a neat hole about the size of a fist appeared like magic in it, we still have no idea what went through it, but it missed us. Our nice boring fire was gone. As was the gas canister, the stones around the fire and some of the soil under it, instead there was a shallow crater and a large area of grass with red hot burning embers spread over it like dangerous black burning hot snow. (Not much like snow at all really – bad analogy.)

We jumped on our bikes and pedaled like mad, our ears ringing and our minds almost as blown as out camp fire. We were freaked. Science had turned on our stupidity and tried to slap us in the face (or at least to remove our faces). As we biked away we heard the gas canister land with a 'clang', at least one disappearance was solved! We went home agreeing on the way that, no matter what, we would never to admit to our presence at the river bank. To this day we stand by this.

Later we found out from the local newspaper that the fire brigade attended and they had to put out a number of 'small fires'. I found out several years later from a fireman they found no fire at all but sprayed water everywhere anyway just in case, but they said 'fires' in the paper as it's a better story. I never told the fireman I was there, just that I had heard of the incident, he claimed all the local firemen knew about it, it was used as an example of weird call outs and they considered the 'idiot teenagers who did it' to have been legendarily lucky. (We were lucky they looked for teens, we were not quite that old at the time.)

Scientific curiosity drove our idiocy, love of high speed reactive chemistry (explosions) and physics (projectile parabolic arcs) kept us going, we caused some damage to our own biology and fear of the terrible monster we had unleashed stopped our research. This proves I love science and explosives - how could I not be right for any task that could advance science further?

And as the above is obviously a completely fictional story, and for legal reasons has no basis in reality, this also proves I can roleplay quite well? Right?

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[X] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

[X] My ears are still ringing (Never ever do in reality what I did in my fictional story that no one would ever be so stupid as to do for real, and if you do, then remember I told you not to, I told you it was stupid and I'm really annoyed you did it. Oh- and get well soon, because no one will ever be that lucky for real.)

Science!!

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