Fredster wozere

Sabotage on the Beach

20 posts in this topic

th_thindexedgif.gif 99c

Hi everyone,

this is my entry into the PTV competition, for the medium division. I only have a couple picture and I feel it only needs one, so the 6 picture rule, does it still need adhering to?

MEDIUM DIVISION

Description:

Even when at peace pirates still want to get their own back on each other! When the retired Captain Morris finally completed his massive, incredibly delicate matchstick pyramid, one of his ex-comrades was quick to try and get rid of his rival's success. He tunneled under the captain's house, and then, with a sturdy stick began banging on the captain's house's floorboards.

"Is that an earthquake?!" the captain exclaimed. "That's the last thing I need, especially with this incredibly delicate huge matchstick pyramid at stake! It took me a whole month to make!"

I think we all know what will happen next...

Overall:

4011855085_468f4c9993.jpg

The miner himself:

4012627876_b9025c8b77.jpg

The poor pirate captain:

4012633406_3f85784c3c.jpg

Criticism welcomed and wanted, so please do comment! (This is also my first MOC posted here)

Edited by SlyOwl

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Just take the '[/img]' and stick it on the end of the link.

Looks good. :pir-classic: Might I suggest adding a couple more photos so we can see the other details? Thanks.

EDIT: Glad I helped you fix it up.

Edited by Bonaparte

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Looks great, You made the tunnel very well, and now it looks like a two layered vig. Very nice.

Edited by RampantDingo

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I like the small rocky bits and the overall MOC is a good idea, but it just doesn't look like what you say it is. It looked like the captain was on some kind of plank and the pirate was going to topple the structure over.

I'm not sure what a parrot is doing underground either. o.o

The picture is clean, bright, and professional, although it's hard to see the captain.

Maybe having the pirate destroy the captain's sandcastle through a way like throwing water onto it would be easier to capture. That way you could add more realistic details into it.

[-TA-]

Edited by The Alchemyst

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:thumbup: on the idea. :pir-sceptic: on the execution. I would definitely add a back wall to the underground, perhaps with 1x6 or 1x8 brown tiles put up diagonally to look like braces. This would make it seem much more "underground-ish", I guess. Also, the micro castle itself is a little bland - four cones is all I see right now. I would have fun with it, make it 3x3 and add a seashell on top! :pir-sweet:

Also, I would find a proper tricorn (as Darth demonstrates > :pir-vader: ) for the pirate captain, and give the sabotuer a proper shovel.

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While I generally enjoy the idea behind this one, I think the realisation of the concept could use some ironing out. What bugs me the most is that in order for the saboteur to actually get where he is and start "mining" shafts (before removing them? Anyway...), he'd have to teleport below the beach - sand castles are built on beaches and you know that you can't dig too deep there... It may sound a bit too punctilious, but that's just how I see things. And I must agree with The Alchemyst about that parrot! Poor bird must be a fossil, I guess. Another thing I'm not too keen on is the bolero hat that the captain is donning... I just don't think it suits the Pirate theme OR the beach setting.

This may sound like a bit too much criticism, but I feel that you could still improve this MOC and turn it into a truly competitive entry. Oh, and by the way - you might want to edit your first post in order to remove that "small division" mention there. I know that it's officially posted a Medium Division entry, but it might still confuse some potential voters.

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I like the idea of one pirate mining underground. It only doesn't look like he is underground due to the open-ness of the MOC. If you were to add a brick wall for the mine with some dark gray slopes and cheese pieces would surely look great. Maybee some 1x8 brown plates or tiles to make it look like the tunnel is supported by a wooden skelleton. A minor thing I'd change is the sandcastle, it looks rather simple. Here you can find a great brick build sand castle:

http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?i=2550667

Adding some trans green flames for see weed would look great!

~Badboy

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I'm not sure what happened but I cant see the photo anymore. Did you delete it from your Flickr photostream?

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Yes, the image was deleted from my photostream as I have rebuilt the creation taking into account all of your criticism. Same concept but different setting to make it a more feasible idea...

I will upload later when I've got through all my homework :-/

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Ah, homework, I hate that stuff. Can't wait to see your new entry!

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Homework done and the new entry has been posted! Please see my original post for the new pictures.

Also, could a mod or admin please change the title to "Cruelty from Beneath?" Thanks!

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Aah, this is definitely an improvement over the first. The pirate captain looks absolutely horirfied that his magnificent sculpture is crumbling, and the pirate looks disturblingly happy about the same thing - the crazy sadist. It reminds me of the winning entry from last year, in which a pirate shoots up through the toilet at a redcoat who is simply doing his business. Good job on the underground. The pirate captain's house could use a little bit of work though - if you coult through in a valise table or at least a kitten it would add a lot to this part of the creation.

Also, what are the dimensions of this MOC? Because as far as I can tell, it's 5x12, for a total of sixty studs. This means that, if you finnegled with the mods a bit, you could get it into the small category, where the competition is a little less fierce.

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Ah I can finally see it!

Very cool MOC with a good job of using cross section and "x-ray vision" to show the scene. I really really enjoy how you made the rock under the captain look like a tunnel. I am very impressed that as soon as I saw it I thought, "thats a tunnel!". I think that maybe a different head would be good for the captain because even though we all use this head to show surprise or fear, it looks too childish on the captain. I like how you combined the look of the captains cabin and the tunnel into one seamless scene. You really had me believing it.

Good Job!

-martinsuper

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Wow you really took our advice at hart. The 2nd MOC looks so much better! It's really good!

~Badboy

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- Matchstick pyramid shaking before its demise - Great idea, the use of the minifig hand there is brilliant. I do feel you could make it a bit more intricate though.

- Tunnel beneath captain's house - Almost perfect. You could make the upper end a bit rounder, no freshly-dug tunnel would look like this. Instead of sloped bricks, try inverted slope bricks and arches!

- Sadist pirate - Priceless expression. I'm not sure about the stick he's using to cause the "mini-earthquake" there, perhaps there could be some tool with a bit more raw power in his hands...

- Pirate captain - Poor kind matchstick-building soul, I totally feel for him. His face might look a bit childish as martinsuper said, but the expression is quite appropriate there.

- Cap'n s house - Could use just a hint of furnishing. I really dig the colour scheme though. And my biggest advice to you - add another element which would show the "earthquake" that is sort of going on there. A tilted chandelier, a vase tipping over the edge of a cupboard, a glass falling off the table... There's a plethora of details that could add to the sense of "action" and boost the feeling of movement here.

Enough bullets / dashes for now. In simple words: this is a huge improvement and definitely SO much more believable. Some of the more noticable elements of your style are still present, which is really nice. With just a few simple additions, this one could really become a lovely entry. Now, if you're going for the first place, I'd suggest expanding and adding another floor on top. That would allow you to add more movement and expand the storyline even further (pirate captain's wife coming down to check out what that fuss is all about, for example).

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I'm not sure about the corner panel on ground. This looks a little bit out of place. I like the use of the diagonal plate.

edit: The wall looks smashing. Really nice!

Edited by badboytje88

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I think it's clever and agree that walls on the tunnel would help.

As for the 6 picture rule, why not take different anles, that would easily get you to the required 6.

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A huge improvement over the first one! I agree with those above, the captain's house could use a kitten or something. I would also change the face on the miner, I know some people say it is good, which I agree, but i think he is too old to dig a tunnel under a house, no matter what his abs say :). Great job!

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I like it. Tunnel is especially nice. Captain is very surprised, I like his face!

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