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Matn

Hide the women and children!

8 posts in this topic

thindexedgif.gif Vig. 36c

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Pirates are attacking a seaside village and nobody saw it comming. They're stealing all the gold they can get and they haven't got compassion with anyone. But so are the guards, they will stand their ground and kill all the intruders. The other side of the town have heard the news and now the women and children are hiding themselves in the cave, nearby the village. Unfortenately, the people nearby the shore didn't have time to hide, so their are slaughtered by the pirates. Even the governor is helping to extinguish the fire, before he runs away to his office.

More pictures can be found here, http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=350040 , after moderation.

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Edited by SlyOwl

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that's a nice entry Matn ^^

I just wonder, why does the pirates with the golden coin in his hand looks scared ? is it because the thing that the islander is holding is a blowgun ?

apart from this, I see one thing to improve it, maybe add something in the water in front of the rocks^^ right now it looks "empty" and maybe add some white/light blue things where the water meet the shore^^

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I just wonder, why does the pirates with the golden coin in his hand looks scared ? is it because the thing that the islander is holding is a blowgun ?

Look behind him though... There is a imperial chasing him and his friend... :pir_yoda::pir-laugh:

OH! Haha I see the guy in the well :D

Edited by Davy_Blocks

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the "imperial friends" don't look to be chasing him to me.. he is not going in the right direction ^^

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Thanks for the comments.

The two pirates are runnig away from the Imperial Guard and the Islander with his blowgun. And the scared guy with is gold is also running away from the crab.

:pir_laugh2:

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Nice entry Matn!

It has plenty of action and excitement, and you built it well. I really love the inside of the fort with the well, stands, the nice building and lots of action.

Your dock is nice and smooth, I have to get some more brown tiles sometime... The cave where the women and children are hiding is a great and well-executed idea.

A few improvement ideas:

1) The interior of the cave looks a bit bare. One thing that would be a great addition is a fire. Perhaps also stalagmites and stalactites.

2) I think that the well would look even better if the base was either all-grey or all-black.

3) Your entry could use even a few more dead, bloody bodies laying around in some of the empty spaces.

4) I like how you have a wave layer where the water meets the sand, and I think the same thing should be used where the water hits the rocky section.

5) The right middle portion of the water looks slightly empty, maybe you could add one more boat with more pirates sailing to the dock.

6) This isn't very important, but if you have enough, it would be good to put grey tiles on the turrets of the fort. Are those called turrets?

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I think you did a really nice job with your entry Matn, and I wish you good luck! :pir-classic:

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My opinion:

A very good entry. I think however it lacks some action for its magnitude, perhaps you could add some of the suggestions made by the many creative critics.

Possible improvements:

1) I think creating at least one tower+cannon is better, the soldiers should have some defense against ship bombardements. Constructing one on the corner could be the best, since then it could be integrated with the portal.

2) The well is a nice addition, but I would make it in red (or brown if it is a wooden one). At least use the same color.

3) I would make some changes to the cave: fill it with barrels, chests and other stuff, to show some of the villagers took everything they could carry! Also put in even more minifigs, if you have them. Erdbeereis1 makes some nice suggestions as well!

4) Put in more details: like rocks in the water, a better seashore-line (especcialy next to the rocks), plumes for the tricorne hats and the governor (maybe an epaulette for him as well), animals into the forest,...

5) Show there is a fighting going on: show us even more destruction and put in a lot more wounded or dead bodies :pir-classic: !

Non-brick related advise:

1) AGAIN I see 640x480 pictures for a large division-entry... I would make them 800x600 to show us as many as possible in a very detailed way!

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Great work, Matn! I love the fort wall, very detailed with the sword design on the side. The dock is also very nice, and the transition from water to sand is done beautifully. The town inside the walls is a great addition, and the guy stuck in the well is hilarious. :pir_laugh2: Some other things that I like are the boat with treasure, the pirate and soldier duels, the rock formations, the governor dousing the flames (great use of the blue flame piece), the cottage, and the islanders.

What could be improved:

I think that it would be neat if you had some trans-white and trans-blue pieces rising up on the rocks to represent waves crashing down. I would also advise you to have more dead and bleeding bodies laying around, and maybe some in the water, getting eaten by sharks. To add even more detail to the water, I would suggest to have a villager or two swimming away.

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But great entry, anyways, and I hope you take these suggestions into consideration if you decide to improve your entry. Good luck on the contest!

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