General Armendariz

My Large PTV entry

14 posts in this topic

thindexedgif.gif Vig. 27a

Here is my large contest entry. Hope you like it

Here's the plot: The nasty pirate (Captain Rogers son) has found a map floating a drift. The map lead to this wealthy village.

He obviously knew they had treasure. So Captain Rogers son and his pirate crew pillaged it. Some of the villagers put up a fight but some ran.

UPDATED: More BLOOD and a statue

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Thats a crumbling wall from the cannon of the pirate ship.

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Poor guy, that cannon went right through him.

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Thanks for looking

Comments and criticism and suggestions aprieciated :pir-blush:. hope you like it

More pics at my BS folder

Edited by SlyOwl

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My opinion:

A beautiful MOC, I see many things I like, eg. the crumbling walls, the fights between pirates and soldiers...

I also had to laugh with the generals hiding behind the portal :pir_laugh2: , well done, shipmate!

There are improvements available to me made though.

Possible improvements:

1) The movements of your minifigs can be replicated better (some are good, but not all!)

You also used quite some standard faces/heads, don't you have more err...non-standard? The ones with a better facial expression?

2) The ship you used looks A LOT then the original Imperial Flagship, except for the sails and flag, that is.

3) More blood could be added, since a lot of members seem they can't live without it :pir-laugh: . It might convince them to vote for you.

4) Tiling certain places could look better, like some of the baseplates and/or walls.

5) IMHO The second doorway (the one where the generals hide behind I mean) could be finished better.

Non-brick related advise:

1) Watch ya' spelling! "He obviously knew they had treasure. so him and he pirate crew pillaged it." should be: "The Pirate Captain obviously knew there was a treasure, so he pillaged the village with his crew!

Maybe an online translation tool or dictionarry could come in handy? I use one for my important postings too, since my primary language is Dutch, not English.

2) With such a large MOC, I would have taken larger pictures (800x600).

Good work though! Make some improvements and I think you can beat the best!

Edited by zorro3999

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dsc00213.jpg

Is that me - I'm not dead! How flattering.

I really like the way you have;

1. Built the crumbling wall.

2. Used a flame peice for the canons.

3. Included me not dead - unless it was a fluke in which case I will have your guts for gartis! :jollyroger::pir_laugh2:

Things that could be improved;

1. The buildings could have backs. At the moment they look very basic and empty. You could probably detail the interier too.

2. Some of the tile blood could become transparent red plates - look more realistic.

3. Make the fort less symmetrical - It just seems very LEGOish and non-realish the way you have it now.

All said though, you have done a very good MOC and I look foward to seeing the finnished product.

Good luck! :pir-classic:

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Very nice entry General A! It really has a pillaged village feel to it if you know what I mean.

Your castle/fortress at the back is great and I love the little marketplace. The cannonball smashing the wall is amazing!

My favorite part though has to be the general cowering behind the wall. :pir-grin:

A few improvements you could make are:

1) Tiling some areas such as the water, the top of the fort and some of the streets would add a lot to your MOC.

2) A bit more blood could be added around the dead bodies for the bloodthirsty members we have here. :pir-devil:

3) I think replacing the trans-blue round piece on the pirate's head on the ship with a clear one would look much better.

4) Adding something like a statue or fountain to the middle of the village would look amazing I think.

You've done really well with your entry and I think with a bit of fine-tuning, it could be in for the prizes! Great work!

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An excellent entry, but...

1. You could, as nearly everyone has said before me, use tiles to make some parts (such as the water- see Strawberry's post) look much better.

2. Again, uses intricate faces to enchance the scene.

3. You have a bit of a mix-mash of colors- it'll be gray in one area, then you'll have a dark green brick, then a strip of tan. If you want color variation, do it with tiles. :wink:

4. No need for the double arch in the last photo.

5. The yellow house looks strangely out of place- especially with the missing roof tile:

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6. The whole sene lacks a bit of blood to make the many killings evident. Consider the man with a cannonball through him. He has but a red stud on the bottom of his head.

7. On the same decapitated man, I don't quite understand the concept- you have him getting shot through the stomach and getting his head blown off. Pick one. Also, he should have a clear brick inbetween his head and his body- not a light blue trans one.

8. The paper sails don't look as good as, say, cloth sails. I suggest replacing them.

9. How about placing some jewels and gold beside the upturned crates? That'd look nice. :classic:

I hope you don't take offence to any of this advice- I mean it to be helpful. :classic:

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ha, that's a nice entry ! that'is what I call a pirate attack :thumbup:

my only suggestion here is maybe to add more blood near the fallen horse, and maybe replace one of the pics by a pic that shows your boat!

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This is a nice scene...but at times it seems almost too chaotic for me. It looks like you picked up some pieces and just scattered them over the MOC. For example, that blue plate in the middle of the market, and the blue tile behind that. Those look random and out-of place.

I noticed an Ice Planet 2002 head in there--that looks a little odd, but you may not have had a choice. And the pirate on your ship with the head flying off just looks completely odd. I think you should just leave the red plate on him and leave his head on. You might also replace the lined-paper sails with unlined ones.

I like the exploding wall, and I also like the yellow house. I don't think it looks out of place at all. Actually, without that yellow house, it would look too much like a regular castle scene. In fact, I think a little more color on the wall of the fort would be good.

Finally, we need some more pictures of the ship! It's hard to tell what she looks like...

Overall, nice entry that can be made a little better with some simple improvements...

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Your MOC is very nice, but it could use some improvements. The blood and minifigs are great! The boat is great, but some things are out of place...for example the yellow house. It could be replaced with a big brick wall. Some pieces that are scattered on the floor look like they have just been thrown in. Take away some unnecessary pieces. The pirate getting his head blown off is a nice touch, but it should be clear white, not clear blue. The falling rock wall is very creative and I really like how you put the minifig exploding. The flame coming out of the cannon is very nice and detailed. You should also tile the floor, or at least some of it, and then tile the water, to give it a sleeker look. I can't wait for the improvements, if you decide to make any.

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I really like:

1. The overall; figs are placed nice and the scene looks great.

2. the Pirates' ship.

What could be improved:

1. The expressions on the faces could be less standard and 'better'.

2. The wall looks too much Medieval to me, not really Pirate-y.

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Opinion

When I first took a look at your MOC, it was wonderful. Your whole theme of Red Beards son finding a map and attacking a wealthy village, that was very smart. The battle scene in the middle of the village in very gruesome and well created the yellow house you made is very nicely made. I really like how you made the crumbling wall. It is very nicely made. On the top of the wall, I like how you made the Imperial guard firing a cannon at the pirate ship. It is funny how you made the pirates head flying up into the air. I can see you have spent a lot of time creating that pirate ship and your MOC.

Possible Improvements

1) On the blue base plate, you could put blue tiles on it to make it look nicer.

2) I don't really find how the skeleton on top of the skeleton horse relates to your whole story plot.

3) On the yellow building, the bottom right of the roof is not would complete. I would complete the roof to make the house look better.

4) There is a bunch of dead pirates and guards dead, but with no blood around them. I would add some more blood to your MOC.

5) Your pirate ship looks really good, but the sails are made out of lined paper. I would go to theSails Library and print out some of those sails and use those for your pirate ship.

6) The door way to were the generals are hiding, I would fix the doors to make them look better.

Non-Brick Related

1) Some minor spelling errors like, "Thats a crumbling wall from the cannon of the pirate ship." I would change it to, "This is a crumbling wall from a cannon being shot at it."

Overall- You have done a very good job creating your MOC. There are some improvements to make, but when you fix them, your MOC will look even better. I wish you the best of luck!

LegoKing

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This is a great Moc, however, I think there are a few things that you should improve on. The first thing is that can you make yout tiles more standard. They are all in different colors and that is very distracting. The yellow house is also a mystery, why is it there? Would you mind tellin us why? You can keep it there, but I think it would be great if you can change the color and make it looked destroyed by the pirates.Can you also give us an overall shot? Your Moc is interesting but I cant see the overall picture of what it looks like.Speaking of pictures can you add more pictures to show the detail of your MOC? Thanks! :pir-skull:

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Well thats what I call pillaging!

I like you wall breaking by the cannonball. Thats a good effect!

The flame in the cannon looks like it's just has just fired. Nice detail!

The idea of adding a statue. It makes the place more detailed.

There's blood in you MOC. I always like that :pir-skull:

Possible Improvements

First fo all I think the first picture (which will represent you MOC) could be better. Most of the cam's focus is on the sail. I think it should be on the pillaging. So right now almost everyone of you cruel pirate are blurry.

I use papersails myself, 'caus I think it's too much work to make clothsails. But I you blank paper. Your's are paper for writing. I think they would eb better if you made some from black paper.

On you picture from above it's difficult to see what's happening. If you took from a more flat angle I think it would be better.

If you've got more soldiers I think you should add some more on the walls shooting on the pirates.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good luck with the contest

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Genaral Armendariz, could you please tell me the title of this MOC so I can update the thread title?

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The roger redbeards live on!! thats what it will be named

Edited by Genaral armendariz

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